Tuesday, 29 December 2015

Holiday update,

Hi everyone, just wanted to write a quick post to say I hope you all had a great Christmas Holiday, and are looking forward to a great New Year,

I've been so busy at work I've not had time to properly indulge in the final runup to the big day.  But certainly have made up for it since.  I'd been looking forward to calling the MeanGirls ever since the last call and had a two week ache deep inside me.  I had a special treat from them at Christmas which made me anticipate the call more.  After a few days of intense family time, (i swear theres one uncle I should not be allowed in a room with, it always ends ugly) a lot of laughs and plenty of food and drink I had sunday evening free.



I worked on my makeup, and had a play round, using the free MaxFactor items I got, but blending a fierce pink glitter eyeshadow over the metallic one, it was one of my better moments.  Then I got an outfit ready, and then started to edge, the ache was pretty bad but I wanted to make myself as desperate as I could.  When I called I had a surprise on for the Mean Girls, I'd ordered a sash to be printed with "Beauty Queen 4 MeanGirls" for a pt. assignment i'm working on but I had to show them and it got such a laugh.  Then they made me closeup my makeup and said I was getting much better, I felt so proud at that *blushes*
I had to give them an update on anything thats happened with Jess at work, although with xmas there has been no time for anything at work as its been hectic.  And they planted a seed in my head, that maybe Jess is like them, making me imagine Jess being with me while I called the Mean Girls, maybe her friends too, (i'm so scared that I find that idea so arousing) On the call I had to rub one of my frozen "cumcicles" all over my face and body, before putting the rest in my mouth and letting it melt.  Inside I was cringing, but I was twitching all over the place.  I'm sure not gonna share all the details on here, but there was so much laughter by Miss Vicki and Miss Erika on the call, that finally when they gave me the countdown I replaced what i'd taken out of the cumcube tray.  They actually got a pic of that and put it up on twitter, so anyone can see it, I was also told not to wash any of the dried cum off my body that night, so as I slept and woke up it was a constant reminder.


Yesterday I had more time to myself and ended up teasing myself for an age with my mini-wand, that got so intense, felt like I was riding an edge for so long and it got me so sensitive, that pretty much today my first day back at work all i've thought of is being humiliated *blushes*



This afternoon after i've finished work I got a call from Jess's friend Sarah, she basically asked if I could help her with a "little problem" then she giggled and rung off, so now the paranoia that I've had is going through the roof and i'm just imagining being tied up on cam to the Meangirls with other women actually there laughing and making the humiliation even more intense, and i'm craving it more and more.

Thanks for reading and I wish you all a happy New Year

Cinnamon xx

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

More dreams, fantasies, shopping trips and a mini rant!

Hey everyone, thought i'd make like one post here and cover a few bases with it as its been a few days,  thankfully after a call to the MeanGirls the other night, the denied ache that had been getting very intense was relieved.  I do still have the ache from the broken ribs though, but thats slowly disappearing.

The call I made this weekend for me seemed very intense.  I think for the first time in months I wasn't on cam for Miss Erika and Miss Vicki, and they blurred my fantasy with my real life reality.  I've had a paranoid streak running through my mind after a few things they said, mentioning my embarrassment at work the last week when Jess read out the SPH article, getting me to imagine if they browsed the hash tag, imagine if they found me on there,  oh god my head was spinning.  Like I said it was so intense I was virtually speechless.


The next day I took the plunge and ordered something special for my PTV task i'd purchased *blushes* I dont want to ruin it for anyone else so not saying what it is, but was so glad that the MeanGirls approved.  It was monday that night and I think I had one of the strangest craziest dreams i've ever had.  Basically I was restrained, and literally kept on the edge constantly, using things like this

All the while I had a constant procession of women laughing so loud right at me as I was bucking against the restraints begging and pleading.  I have used this mini-wand a few times and it feels very different to stroking, and can get very dangerously close to the edge with it, especially if theres lube involved.  The one in the dream involved more powerful wands etc.  I was covered in lipstick, and teased all over and over.  I woke up and was absolutely gutted *blushes*

Tuesday I had a bit to do at work, mainly work on a report thats due, seeing as I can't do my normal job with broken ribs.  But when I finished had to do some gift shopping for my family.  I had a plan for a couple of gifts and headed to the store with the makeup counter i've been to countless times now.  They have a promo on gift sets and its basically 3 for 2, and my sister has said she wanted something from there.  So I hit the gift section and picked up a gift for he and also one for my mum.  Before selecting the free one for myself *blushes* it was a set of lip crayons which i'll wrap up and secretly hide under my tree!



In the store I also saw the salesgirl who has helped me so much and she had a chat with me, and she helped me with a couple questions I have on things like cleansers for brushes etc.  She also gave me a sample of a new primer, she applied it on my skin and I got some right strange looks again from other shoppers,,,  sooooooooo embarrassing.  She also said it'd been a while since she'd seen me, and I explained I have bought a few things from them online, mainly to get the free offers, when I mentioned the max factor one she actually went and got one of the mini boxes and brought it over saying "this red will be great on you"  She wasn't quiet saying it either.  I was trembling a bit inside but very excited,  I paid up and left the store wishing her a very happy Xmas, sure that I could hear giggling behind me on the way out and got a few more gifts from other stores before coming home

Obviously at home I've been edging like usual, practicing my makeup as I know I need to, and the usual, but i've also noticed on twitter the annual december rise of the "insta"  The Dm's from women you've never heard of demanding money as a "tribute" just because you had the audacity to follow them back when they followed you.  I understand some people are into Findom, thats cool for them, I just am not, sorry, theres a hell of a lot more important things than money in the world and i'm more than happy calling Miss E and Miss V and trying to please them and make them laugh,  apparently that makes me "not submissive" a "timewaster" and lots of other things that i'm not repeating.  Well dont get me wrong,  I know that when I get to call the MeanGirls I have to pay and I'm more than happy to as its a business for them, just the same as it is for many Dommes who have an online presence year round. and I have every respect for all of them.  But these by the dollar "insta-dommes" please no!!!!! they need to learn femdom isn't just findom,  there are so many kinks and fetishes that are awesome.  At the end of the day they are the ones missing out.

I'm so sorry to end this blog post on a rant, and i know it doesn't sound very submissive of me but its just something that had to be said so i'll post a nice selfie to try and bring it back to a cheery blog, I love the way the sunset filter enhances the pinks *blushes*



Cinnamon xxx

Friday, 11 December 2015

Tasks, aches, freebies and more

Its been a long achey week for me this week.  With commitments last weekend I didn't get the chance to call the MeanGirls and so I wasn't allowed a precious "cumsie"  I know better than to cheat, and will suffer the ache for them no matter how much I get frustrated at it.  Since my last blog post I have done a lot of edging, and have also bought a couple of PPV assignments from the MeanGirls from their Niteflirt page.  I'm looking forward to being embarrassed by doing them but have had to order a couple of things to do them properly *blushes*

I've found the ache to grow throughout the week, especially the more I edge.  I swear the stupid thing does appear to be getting slightly bigger although that could just be the result of the the recent first ever shaving.  Getting to sleep was getting trickier, a lot trickier, I had to resort to a cold shower on more than one occasion just to try and stop the throbbing.  I've also realised that my fantasies are getting kinkier and kinkier all the time, and the cravings grow stronger all the time.  Of course the wonderful posters on tumblr etc dont help.  I keep getting the image of being restrained and kept litterally right on the edge for hours and hours, all for the amusement of Women, where just the slightest touch with a fingernail leaves me pleading and bucking causing eruptions of laughter.  There are so many of these fantasies now,  its like all vanilla ones have just gone now,

Now for the freebies, in my last post I mentioned one freebie with the makeup brushes and makeup bag with my purchase.  This one went one better, if you spent a certain amount on MaxFactor makeup you got a free gift, I would put the amounts on here but as theres many different currencies i'd hate to confuse anyone, but basically in British it was spend £15 get a free gift worth £33 which is well awesome!  So I bought a lipgloss and a vivid pink lip crayon


The crayon is so cool as it seems to layer up the colour, and the gloss feels so smooth when i've worn it so far.  But anyway by buying these I got this for free


Its not just got samples in, there is four products and they're all full size.  Theres a false lash effect mascara, a glossy nail polish, an amazing shimmery liquid eyeshadow, and a lipstick in scarlet ghost which is so vampy and feels so naughty



I felt so lucky getting all these, and my collection is growing even more, seriously if anyone saw the makeup I own the illusion of me being a man would be over forever!

It seems that at the moment, i'm just playing with the makeup, I had a bit of an accident yesterday and am a little laid up feeling a bit sore.  The ache is still there and i've edged a couple of times cuddling a pillow,  feeling so desperate again, just hope i'm in some way feeling a bit better over the weekend so I can maybe beg for one of those elusive moments that I've given control of to the Mean Girls.



(p.s. I did say the collection is growing)


Cinnamon xx


Monday, 7 December 2015

The last week

Its been a while since i've written a blog post, been a strange week with somethings that just take a precedent over other things.  I'm not going in to those things here, but do have a few tales to tell

Online last week, especially here in the UK there was an article in one of our lowbrow press tabloids that was about men who pay for Small Penis Humiliation, I'm not going to link to it as I have a moral standard and the paper in question is effect trash, but if you wish to read it just search Daily Star Small Penis, it'll be the top link.  The article isn't terribly accurate, and seems to not understand that there are millions of different "humiliation" kinks.  But certainly it got a bit of exposure on twitter and around the UK.

Yes exposure around the UK, anyone who has read my previous blog articles will know about the girl at work who i'm pretty sure knows my "little" secrets.  Well last week on thursday at work I was sat in the canteen and was with Jess who i'd been working with all morning on something and her friend Sarah, to be honest although i've been paranoid since the date it hasn't been that bad.  But after a few minutes chatting Jess went like "OMG" and started reading out the newspaper article I mentioned about, her and Sarah were both laughing at parts and Sarah kept asking "what guys like having their little dicks laughed at"  Of course I was getting uncomfortable at this, but couldn't exactly just up and leave.  The worst part was Jess turned and looked at me right in the eye and asked me what I thought of "Small Cock Humiliation"  I was a bit flustered and blurted out i'd never really heard of it so didn't really know, or something like that, Sarah coughed then and i'm sure she muttered really under her breath.  For the rest of that shift I was on edge, I know they know, but they won't just admit they know,

Friday, I got a delivery of some new makeup i'd ordered in the sales :) Best thing was the free gift of a black glittery makeup bag and some brushes too.  Theres a new Lipstick, had to buy the "delinquent" shade as it looked all pink and naughty, a maxfactor "fierce pink eyeshadow" and a new really red nail polish I hope the Mean Girls won't mind me swapping the PinkSissyToes for the festive period.  Here it all is





The weekend was a bit crummy for family and friend reasons, especially friday night and saturday, I had to just be there for someone when they needed, it, I may be a sissy loser but family and friends will always come first.



Last night however picked up, about 80 of us from work were out for some food and drinks, a pre festive do if you will.  Everyone dolled up to the 9's and lots of drinkies about.  The meal was pretty good, and as the music and dancing started I kept finding myself pulled up to the dance floor by Jess and a couple of her friends, it was the usual function sort of music, and everyone was having a laugh. I of course was more conscious than ever that I was in panties and hadn't been allowed a cumsie for a week and the last time something like this happened I had an accident.  Anyway as the night drew on a few people drifted off and we ended up dancing a bit closer again.  Like so close I kept trying to think of things to stop noncock getting excited.  It didn't work, even though i'd had a few drinks I could feel it tingling.  Luckily we stopped the close dancing pretty soon after as more party songs came on.  the next thing I knew we were sitting on the leather couches in the venues lobby and Jess moved in to kiss me, her hand was on my thigh and although I was enjoying being kissed could feel the excitement growing her hand moved up and grazed over my you know what and she instantly stopped the kiss, pretty much grabbed my tiny cock through my pants, and giggled, she said her reading that article last week must have been a nightmare for me, (i'm so ashamed I wanted to explode right there) she squeezed it and I moaned, which made her giggle more.  I knew I was blushing, she was pretty drunk, as was I and I was panicking inside. She squeezed it again and kissed me before getting up and saying it was funny and walking back into the main room.   I was too scared to go back in that main room for a few minutes and am ashamed to admit I went outside and bummed a smoke, but went back in the main room for the last part of the night.  Everyone still there ended up on the dance floor and I was so paranoid but no-one said anything although Sarah was looking at me all smug looking.  I couldn't see Jess though,  I dont know whether I was upset or glad

When I got home all I could imagine was the Mean Girls laughing as Jess asked me if my tiny thing embarrassed me.  All while my ceiling was spinning and my tiny excuse for a manhood was throbbing in my panties.  My dream last night was intense, I know today I should be catching up on edging for the Mean Girls, although its already aching so hard and chances are it'll be another week before a chance is given.  So going to have a play with the new makeup after a grocery trip as I have like no food in at all. This morning has been a survive on coffee morning



I've also got a new sissy task from the Mean Girls which I may need to adapt due to my size which is promising to be another embarrassing episode.  Why do barbies have to be 11.5 inches?

Hope you enjoyed

Cinnamon  xx

Sunday, 29 November 2015

This weekends humiliation

Well its sunday again and this weekend has been wet wild and cold up here in the NW.  So i've obviously made the most of the weekend and followed what the Mean Girls have said.

Firstly yesterday I wanted to do the proper assignment that they had given.  I was to dress in lingerie and stockings etc then stepping up the ante from the football on thursday instead of using lipliner, I had to use a permanent marker on my body *blushes* obviously saying that I was a dirty sissy bimbo,



Now of course these markers had to be in bright pink and reds, I couldn't believe I was doing this.  But anyway I set off to the shops, knowing I would be window shopping for clothes etc then doing some groceries.  The feeling of paranoia as I walked around was crazy, the panties I had on were very snug, i'm actually wondering if thats what chastity would feel like as I doubt I would have been able to get hard in them *blushes*  The worst part of the trip was going into a store changing room to try on a shirt.  knowing how I was dressed with just a flimsy curtain separating me from utter embarrassment, hearing the other shoppers and staff and feeling the curtain move as people walked past.  The sales assistant even asked if I was ok as I left, I must have gone so red.

Next I headed to the grocery store and felt the same paranoia walking around even though I was only grabbing some essentials.  bending over I was very conscious of my panties possibly showing but there were no comments, again I seemed to rush through the store much more than usual.



I've cropped the pic quite a bit, but this is what I looked like under my shirt yesterday.  Once back home I had some food and started edging for the Mean Girls hoping they would be online later,  luckily for me they were and I called through and got on cam for them.  They laughed a lot, and somehow RP'd me turning into their little cheerleader, performing for the entire crowd.  I was trembling all over at this and got right into imagining it, the picture they painted was so vivid, and I was just begging for it.  Even incorporating something new into the call, it was in the lockerroom after the game.  Showering with the Mean Girls and the other cheerleaders.  I'm sure you'll be able to see just why I was trembling.  I had to then beg them all to be allowed a cumsie and following some teasing and stopping I was allowed to shoot in my hand.  Which of course they then had me slurp up on cam, so mortifying hearing that laugh.

Spent a couple of hours after that thinking how lucky I am to have confessed this is the stuff that gets me off.  It may not be "normal" but i've found exploring it all the last few months to be genuinely exhilarating.  I have to give the Mean Girls credit for that as well of course.  Was also listening to more of their audios so by the time I got to bed I was throbbing again.  It really is a vicious circle I guess.

Today has been spent with makeup and earlier I decided to give myself a trim, somehow one thing led to another and for the first ever time I have a shaved you know what.  Its so embarrassing as it looks even smaller now.  I have a feeling i'll be spending tonight online tormenting the tiny thing and craving the next humiliation.

Cinnamon xx

Friday, 27 November 2015

the week of worship,

Kind of strange really, even though i've had a few days off work it does seem that I've been pretty hectic most of the week.  Some things I won't go into detail about here as they're like you know private and stuff.

Lets just say helping friends with a Uni project can be a hell of a lot of fun, (cold and wet) but awesome!


Then I was feeling so so lucky on wednesday, the MeanGirls had allowed me the chance of a cumsie, I had kind of already adopted a bit of a challenge of doing multiple edges in a worship session to commemorate a recent birthday.  One for each year, and lets face it i'm not a teenager anymore.

So I got down to this challenge on Weds at about 8pm here, using aids like all the Mean Girls audios and the Humiliation playlist, after an hour or so I could feel my mind like zone out and my imagination started popping fantasies and ideas into my head making me both tremble and throb.  The ache got intense and i've never ever felt as sensitive as I did around the end of it.  I had some scary thoughts I've never even had before and got into a loop of edge stop repeat, edge stop repeat, even though I felt like I wanted to cry.  I may go into these ideas at another time, but for now i'm gonna keep them locked up in my head.  I finally got up to the number, which is north of 30, but south of 35 and had used so much lube, was aching so so bad but I finally had the cumsie I had been craving, need to thank the Mean Girls so much for that!



Next was thursday and I kind of adopted a task I was given as I hadn't had chance to do a sissy shopping trip this week yet,  I was going to a football game, and decided to write the worship words on my stomach as the Mean girls had commanded.  I also wore my hot pink bra and panties and a pair of fishnets under my man clothes.  Seriously was paranoid city!  I believe there was nearly 45000 people there last night and even though I enjoyed the game I was constantly thinking of the Mean Girls and if anyone could tell.  By the time I got back to my car my sensitive excuse for a manhood was trying to throb.  It was an aching drive home.

Today I've been browsing a few online sales and doing family stuff but finally home now, guess some worship will be happening.  Was hoping for some advice though, i'm trying to pick my lipstick for tomorrow, heres a swatch I did a couple weeks ago, if anyone has a fave let me know and that will be what I wear tomorrow I guess



Thats all for now,  thanks for reading

Cinnamon  xx

Monday, 23 November 2015

Roleplay Fun

Hi, well another week starts and if you've read my previous blog you'll know that gloriously there is no work whatsoever this week, (well apart from worshipping the Mean Girls)  Last night my week off started with a bang.  After spending as much of the last week edging as I could I knew I wanted to call them.  I had sent an email asking if I could,

After a couple of mails where i'd been asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about in particular, the Mean Girls said they had an idea but i'd need props (gulp) First, I had to wear bra, panties and stockings, then over the top a white shirt and man trousers.  I felt really silly doing this as i'd been practicing my eye makeup, and I actually reckon my black smokey eyes were the best i've done yet.  (the makeup counter girls would be proud their lessons are paying off)  The other prop I needed was something that would be easy to eat on the call, and I had to let one of my "cumcubes" melt over the top of it.

I had to get ready as quick as I could, and my head was racing as it often is, I set up as i'd been asked,



I already knew how visible the bra was through the shirt after the makeup store last week but this felt just as embarrassing.  I called through to the Mean Girls and they got into the role-play they had thought of.  They played a part where they knew I crushed on them, and also had a dress up fantasy and they'd agreed to come out for a bite to eat and a drink with me, on the condition that I had the underwear on under my clothes, and also some lipstick *blushes*

They delighted as we sat at the table as they made me see who was on the next table to us, Jess from my work, and two of her friends Sarah and Natalie.  The thought of this, the blurring of reality and fantasy, (especially after some of the teasing at work recently) makes me literally squirm, I hadn't even touched myself and I was almost ready to blow.  Miss Vicki and Miss Erika noticed this and thought I looked too hot. First they asked Jess and the others to join us at our table, one of the first things they noticed was the lipstick marks on my coffee glass which I had to explain why I was wearing it.



 Noticing my squirming increasing the Mean Girls then insisted I removed my trousers so I was more comfortable, right there in the middle of the coffee store, they laughed so hard as I did that just grabbed the attention of Jess and her friends.  I was then ordered to walk around the store like that, which brought further howls of laughter,  I was told to come back to the table and sit down and noticed that my cookie had had a topping added.



The "frosting" had melted a bit by this time.  And I was ordered to take a bite, I did which brought more giggles.  All of my secrets were being told, how tiny I am, that i'm the Mean Girls sissy bimbo,  I get tips at makeup counters etc, I was then ordered to take off the shirt so everyone could see my bra, I was also ordered to show my tiny excuse for a manhood, twitching and throbbing away,  this brought more laughs I was told to imagine my work colleagues laughing and touching it to see if it was real, I then had to finish off my cookie and  stroke and beg, they pulled the table away so everyone could see, I had to beg like i'd never begged before, I think i must have said please about 100 times in a minute *blushes* was so desperate.  The Mean Girls then gave me a countdown which they stretched out making me keep begging, they made me imagine that one of the others was holding my coffee glass underneath me to catch all my nasty cumsie, finally they gave the command.  And coincidentally it went all over the plate my cookie was on, there was so much *blushes* Once they realised this I had to lick the plate clean still on cam, then we had a quick chat and once again I couldn't thank them enough.  (after the precall email saying I wouldn't need the ice cube tray this time, a part of me was dreading that I wouldn't be allowed a cumsie)

It was such an intense call, I was knelt hardly moving for 20 minutes after it, and dreamt of it last night as well.  If only the rest of my week off is as good,  I wish it could be full of humiliation *blushes*

Feel free to comment or hit me on twitter and thanks for reading xx

xx  Cinnamon xx

I must give huge thanks to Miss Vicki and Miss Erika, none of this journey i've been on the last few months would have been possible without them getting in my head, if your in any way curious check them out Mean Girls website

Saturday, 21 November 2015

Week and a bit of worship

Hi everyone, thought i'd check in and make a blog to celebrate the start of some well earned time out of work where apart from a few appointments and minor family things I am pretty much free to devote myself to my spiral of humiliation.  No doubt the Humiliation Playlist will be getting viewed a lot (this is basically an old hard drive full of all the humiliation clips i've bought over the years, theres a lot, an awful lot) as well as the Mean Girls audios, and hopefully some time being laughed at live by them too.

It seems the potential for embarrassment started pretty much as soon as i've been home, It was going dark when I got home and I missed a postcard behind the front door saying a package had been left with my neighbour.  I instantly panicked as my neighbour must be 60 and seems to be a church goer very prim and proper,  and I knew that the package could only be a new bra I ordered.  I nervously knocked on her door but thankfully the packaged was discreet and secure.  I breathed a sigh of relief at that one!

So of course I had to check the parcel out, pretty much just got out of the uniform and into something  a little more comfortable, and some lipstick of course and sat down to open it up.  It looks and feels nice, especially for the cheap price that it was, however i'm sure the sizing is a bit off.  But it does fit, I guess its natures way of telling me i'm not dropping weight enough (next goal for me) anyway heres a pic of it



Anyway, another thing I need to do this week is try my Xmas shopping,  I actually love it, which probably sounds weird but its one of the only times of the year a guy can basically go in any shop and be looking at whatever he wants, however girly without the paranoia.  Of course in my case they'll probably be able to tell but still its a great feeling. Beauty sets, lingerie stores, anywhere really

 Plus i'll be away from work, lots of the girls there just seem to laugh at me now.  Although it seemed today that Jess, the one responsible for it all was very cold towards me.  I was actually quite glad as with the ache I have from edging I dont know if I would have coped if she had mentioned the date, maybe it was just a bad day for her, or maybe she's realised how sexually pathetic I am, one warped part of my mind even wondered if she'd somehow seen my blog, gulp, but I think i'm safe on that front.

Well I'm gonna love you all and leave you, I've got some Mean Girls audio to listen too and some worship to be doing

Cinnamon  xx





Thursday, 19 November 2015

Deeper down the spiral

I'd like to say thank you to all for the reaction to my last blog, the makeup counter assignment from earlier this week.  It may be fairly obvious but makeup has an affect on me so bad!!!!!

Anyways later that night I got to call the Mean Girls for what was a long overdue call.  I was aching so hard for them and like always was totally putty in their hands.  I'm not going into full details here but the call was full of the blend of fantasy and reality that they have the ability to weave.  I had to give them updates about things that happened on the sort of date I had last week.  Reliving the embarrassment was leaving me squirming on my cam and they noticed that which made them laugh even harder.



They've planted seeds in my mind that probably Jess at work, knows all about me,  maybe not that I call the Mean Girls, but that I am a sissy or at least a guy into makeup etc.  After all thats happened recently thats probably true.  Worst is the seed they planted that maybe Jess is actually into this and thats why she asked me out last week, and if she asks I have to say i'm a sissy, they want it wrote on my stomach in a bright pink sharpie even. Maybe she wants to make me over, god maybe theres more than one of them that know and want to do it.  They fed a fantasy all into my head, all the while i'm as desperate as I've been,  telling me how they'll be laughing and covering me in makeup, making me stroke.  Then the MeanGirls dropped the bombshell,

"Of course when you get close, you'll have to beg them to stop as you'll need to get in touch with us to beg to be allowed to cum"

That hit straight through me, I know full well its true *blushes* I have no say in my cumsies.  All I could imagine was kneeling made up in front of a group of women who just burst out laughing as I beg as hard as I can to call the Mean Girls.  Its a visceral image thats been ingrained in my head since that call.  Thing is even if they allow me a cumsie, it all goes straight in here *blushes* (apologies for the icky pic)



Its getting scarily full now, and every time I go in my freezer it fills me with dread.  Anyway I've not actually seen Jess since that evening last week with that fateful kiss, I am totally dreading tomorrow and what she will say.  Theres definitely been a couple of stares at work that seem weird so I'm paranoid about that.

  Also at work I had a start today, I was minding my own business keeping my head down as I'm trying to do now since the makeup incidents when a customer approached me, I was mortified lifting my head up to find that it was a woman who works at the store with the makeup counter I've been visiting.  I felt myself blush so bad as I tried to stay professional, she gave me one of those looks that just said *busted* with one of those cheeky smiles.  Even worse I could feel myself starting to throb in my panties under my work suit.  And now she'll probably go back to work and tell everyone who she's just seen.  The embarrassment has left me tingling

My heads been a blur ever since, embarrassment, paranoia and thoughts of the MeanGirls running through my mind, leaving me achey and getting the fantasies running everywhere.  I crave all the girls knowing now, having the MeanGirls pulling the strings behind a constant stream of humiliation. Craving a cumsie already but knowing I daren't.  Pleasing them is way more important, just sat at home with a coffee trying to get my head around it all.  I'm so glad they've made it all real





Tuesday, 17 November 2015

The makeup counter again :)

So yesterday I did my task as the Mean Girls had told me too.  I was headed back to the makeup counter but this time as well as wearing my panties I had a bra and my stockings on as well.  I'd been getting my outfit ready in the afternoon before going and could see just how easy it was to see the bra through the shirt I was wearing.

I was already desperate and even edged a little bit before I went.  I was feeling so submissive, even though I knew that I would be so embarrassed I had to go ahead with it.  I parked up outside and headed for the store.  I went in and there were some customers,  I did my usual trick of skirting the beauty section to the gift area behind,  I saw the girl who has been helpful before but she was with other customers so I browsed around for a while.  I was just looking for quite a while all the time being very conscious that pretty much everyone could see the outline of my bra through my shirt.  I even realised that from a distance one of the instore security guards was watching me.  (I guess you can't just stand on one aisle for more than a couple minutes anymore)  What looked like a mother and a couple of daughters looked at me and snickered.  I could feel the nervousness growing.  I tried the makeup counter again and the nice girl greeted me with a smile.  She asked if I wanted any help today.  I said yes, she said she was still helping someone else but would come and find me when she'd done, I did quickly ask about blusher brushes and she quickly showed me them.  I was looking through them all and again so conscious of everyone walking past,  It was so embarrassing and I was tingling.





Anyway a few minutes later I made my way back over to the counter and she greeted me, asking what I needed today.  I said I wanted a bit of a treat for myself as its a birtday coming up.  I had already picked a brush from the same range as all of my others.  I mentioned trying something different with my eyes maybe with a bit of colour.  So she took me round all of the other counters and the aisles with makeup on the rack.  Some of the other staff were quizzically asking if she was ok.  But she just replied "yeah i'm just helping, he's a good customer"  The sissy in me just wanted to melt away, seeing some of the stares at that but I was frozen there nervously smiling as she kept showing me more and more and introducing me to other staff.  It seemed like an age but even though my mind was a blur we decided on a lovely pallet of purples and pinks, She explained that it would be more for a special night out, but would contrast the browns and black pallets I already have (i'm scared she can remember everything I buy)  She also used their tool to match a lipstick to my foundation colour again, this one was a lovely pink shade, I also got given a card with shades that will match mine by an amused looking assistant on that particular counter.  I also picked up off the rack a clear lipgloss, which she gave me some tips to keep it clear if i put it on over lipstick, and another cheaper bright red lipstick, (this one isn't matched, but I know the Mean Girls have made me write on myself with them before and I don't want to ruin a good one).  We had a chat at her counter and I'd almost forgotten about my bra being visible I was walking out smiling when I heard a "what a freak" comment from a couple.  So I was nearly in tears at my car, but i'd been in there for ages and soon forgot that.

The makeup I bought 


Later in the night I got to practice my makeup,  I did try one tip she gave me using a bit of brown eyeshadow on my brows though, what a difference that made,  
I called the Mean Girls and shared the experience and I had as good a call as ever, even had a compliment on my makeup *blushes* they have once again stepped up the level of my tasks for next time,  and I was left feeling as happy as can be, the ice cube tray is really filling up now.  I'll save the new tasks for another time though.   I'm so hooked on this downward spiral they have me on, 

Thanks for reading 


Monday, 16 November 2015

New task day

Its now way over two weeks since I was allowed a proper orgasm by the Mean Girls, with family and training commitments its been way too long.  But later today i'm about to head out on my latest task for them, once again it'll involve the makeup counter, this time though I have to be not just in my panties under my clothes, but also my bra, (trying this under a shirt it is soooooooo visible) and stockings, obviously with my pinksissytoes too.  I've no idea what i'm going to be looking for I guess i'll just be asking for a couple of ideas, to treat myself.  I know i'll be blushing off the scale but its so weird how she is so helpful and puts me at complete ease, until I notice other customers, even a couple of the staff and hear some of the remarks.  Its such a rush though

I'm going to head over in the early evening as the lady who helps me says its best to go about then as she has more time to help, and lets face it with makeup I need all the help I can get.  But its leaving me here with a nervous feeling of impending humiliation and making me crave it more.  My tiny thing is aching so damn hard, feels like its edging after just a few touches,

I'm hoping i'll be lucky and she'll do my makeup again, then hopefully I can show it off to the MeanGirls later *blushes*

  Cinnamon xx

Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Fantasies

Once again i'm here ready to share the inner thoughts of my admittedly warped mind, and the longer this ache goes on the more warped my imagination gets.

I'm having crazy fantasies the last couple of days, one is being tied to one of those posh baggage trolleys you get in fancy hotels and dragged around a hotel by the Mean Girls,  Even being left tied to one blindfolded and just being able to hear random women approaching, laughing, feeling a tickling sensation without at first realising they were covering me with humiliating lipstick comments, probably taking pictures for god knows what, unable to control myself, not knowing what was going to happen or how long it would go on for.  Feeling the relief as the Mean Girls came back laughing having witnessed everything.

Another fantasy is being out on sissy shopping trip with the Mean Girls there, I've found that tasks in public have been intensely humiliating for me, but I also am aware that really theres been nothing that would make "vanilla" people uncomfortable which is brilliant as the last thing I want to do is get myself in trouble, or make other people uneasy.  I can just imagine the Mean Girls being there or any woman that knows exactly why i'm doing it could make the trip so much more intense, knowing they could announce something at any moment, knowing that they could reveal so much more to the staff, maybe other customers,  or make me apply a lipstick i'd just bought while in a coffee shop etc.


I would love that they could change the rules at any moment, for example I did one assignment where I was in a womens shoe store trying on heels.  I can't help imaging what it would have been like if a Mean Girl was there whispering in my ear, "why don't you ask if you can wear them out"  As it was that was a very embarrassing day, that they even placed a pic on their wall of shame (there are lots of losers on there, including myself more than once *blushes* I may share more of that if anyone is interested.  


There'll be more soon, thanks for reading,  and feel free to get in touch




Sunday, 8 November 2015

Giving your orgasms away

I've been thinking of what to write for my next blog post,  and have come up with the idea of talking about the control of my orgasms by the Mean Girls.  In the past i've maybe served one online Mistress and another on a shorter term basis, the first one disappeared away from being an online Mistress, the second was ace but my illnesses cut short that servitude.  Each of those soon established a rule that I was only allowed to release when they said.  Whether it was on a call, or in the case of the first Mistress on a call, or in circumstances she controlled, I remember a dice game she had me play at the same time every week where if I rolled a 6 I got to cum, any other number I had to edge for that amount of hours.

It was only a couple of calls in with the Mean Girls when they came up with the same rule.  I was allowed to stroke, I was allowed even if I wanted to call other Dommes, but I was only allowed to cum for them.  I'm not in chastity, so pretty much at some point every single day I get myself worked up into a desperate state.  (Damn you twitter, pinterest and tumblr) I'm lucky I've got to know just when to stop, and do so every single time.  I know some people think that its easy just to cheat and lie about cumming, but believe me, it is so much more intense when they allow it.  Being so much more desperate just makes me crave the chance to call them and beg, and normally when the time comes for me to call my whole body is aching and trembling.  It makes the whole call feel electric to me.  Every laugh, every humiliating thing they make me do gets me closer and closer.  To top it off when / if they allow me to cum I seem to have graduated from my first few calls of cumming into panties, or on a plate (which I embarrassingly had to lick clean as they took pics) to cumming on cookies and once on my face.  Now every time it is in an ice cube tray, which goes straight in the freezer.  Last time was the first time I had to try one of these.  The way they laughed at the face I pulled got so deep in my head its still echoing a week later.  I already know it'll be another week until I get the chance to call again due to my work shifts and the UK - US time difference.  The ache is gonna be so crazy by then, I can already tell.  after seeing their latest Loser of the week post,  I know i'll be using ice, squeezing like crazy and doing literally anything to stop myself going over the edge.  Every day feeling like my mind is weaker, every day feeling the cravings grow.  I remember the humiliation I felt when they made me their loser of the week, and put me on their wall of shame, even more embarrassing just looking at them increased the desperation I was feeling.


I really feel like giving up control of my orgasms has made them, (when they're allowed) much more special.  Anyone thinking of it, honestly find someone to take control of them.  It makes everything more intense and I love it.  Even when the stupid tiny thing starts randomly throbbing while in everyday life, its a source of constant paranoia, I cant comment on chastity as i've had no experience of that, but sometimes I think doing it this way may even be harder, (when doing it proper)

Anyway sorry for rambling on, just wanted to get this out there to distract me from the ache,  catch you soon

Cinnamon xx


Friday, 6 November 2015

A random post

I looked at my main blog page last night, can't believe how many views its had already.  Hope someone gets something out of this :)

  I guess in a way i'm lucky that I have vivid dreams when i sleep.  Recently these have all revolved around me being humiliated, and in ways that are hard to imagine.  It only makes the cravings worse when i'm awake and serves to drive my imagination wild its like a vicious circle.  I do love to drift away sometimes.  I guess i'm unfortunate that in my immediate local area there is not much tolerance whatsoever that doesn't conform to a social norm so most of my "play" is online and theres no-one i've dared tell in my local area apart from the girl at the makeup counter, and that was the next city over,   I'm proud of where i'm from but damn if we aren't in the 21st century!!

 Maybe in the future i'll properly share some of these dreams, but some of them are so intense and feel in a way private.  But rest assured they put me in my place,

  This weekend is shaping up to be a busy one, and I'm probably having cousins stay over, which will mean a mad panic trying to hide all of my sissy things, worse it will also mean not being able to call the Mean Girls, which in turn means no cumsies and a therefore an agonising ache will get worse each day!  Luckily i'm sure i'll get a chance to listen to a couple of their audios though, even if it is in bed through dodgy headphones.

Hope everyone is well and thanks for reading

Cinnamon xx


Thursday, 5 November 2015

How far things have come

Not going to do a long post today, just some thoughts about yesterday.  You see not long after I started calling the Mean Girls they had me get some bright pink nail polish and pretty much since then I have had pretty pink sissy toes.  At first I was so conscious of them even though i'd have socks and shoes on over the top.  But yesterday after work I'd decided to go swimming, I completely forgot about my pink toes literally until I changed in the changing room.  I was full of panic in that changing room, I knew I couldn't just get back changed and walk out as it would look strange.

I kept peering round the edge of the cubicle and the way to the pool was pretty clear, so I rushed to the pool and instead of dipping my toes like usual lowered myself straight in.  I knew that once in ppl wouldn't be able to notice my toes (I hoped) and got to doing my lengths.  I was still paranoid and after a while knew i'd have to get out.  I was walking back to the changing rooms and walked past a lifeguard who was coming out of the cleaning room.  She smiled but then looked down and nearly burst out laughing.  I was mortified and rushed to my locker.  I was too afraid to take a shower as there were another couple of gents in there so got dried and changed as quick as I could

The worst thing was walking out through the reception of the leisure centre.  There is a window through to the pool area and the lifeguard was there talking to another woman.  She literally pointed at me and both of them started laughing.  I knew my cheeks were blazing red as I almost ran to my car.  It had the usual effect on me and I was throbbing most of the day after that.

I can't believe i've got the point where having bright pink toenails is like second nature.  Its things like this that make me properly realise i'm not a real man *blushes*



Cinnamon xx

Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Another humiliating shopping trip

Seeing as this is still a new blog I thought i'd add another report of a shopping trip I did for the Mean Girls, This one wasn't intended and was more recent than the makeup one I posted yesterday.

I may not post as frequently in the future just thought it would be good to get a few posts on my blog whilst starting.   The background for this task was that I'd been asked to get hold of some nipple tassels by the MeanGirls for one of our calls, I found some on a website sale (ann summers) and ordered them, I also ordered a mini massager (like a small version of a hitachi i've been told, it was less than half price) I also had an ongoing task to find a bra that would fit me that I had been struggling with due to my size,  heres the report, edited slightly


I've had a very embarrassing shopping trip today, I wasnt planning on it, but had an email at work saying that my click and collect order was ready at Ann Summers, (thats where I ordered the nipple tassels from, its basically a womens adult store over here) I must have clicked the wrong part on the order form to get it delivered to a store not my home.
Anyways when I finished work I headed into town to pick it up.  Now I knew the store did lingerie, its a teenagers rite of passage almost to try and peek a look in there, but I never knew how much.  I felt almost embarrassed just walking in there but headed up to the counter and loaded up the email on my phone with the order details.  Embarrasingly the email clearly showed the picture of the two items.  The nipple tassels and the mini vibrating massager (in neon pink) The woman on the counter smiled and said she'd be right back with it. I didnt know where to look, there was lingerie and costumes and sex toys and lubes everywhere I could look, my hands were getting a bit clammy and I could feel my tiny thing tingling as I imagined what you would do to me in there.  The woman seemed to be taking ages in the back, and it was then I wondered about asking about bra's, I knew I had to when the thought came in my head, I had another salesgirl ask if I needed help, (i'm almost certain that except for valentines and maybe just before xmas they never have guys in there alone) then the first woman came back with a box.  She scanned it through and handed it over, she asked if there was anything else she could help with, and I just rushed out "do you think you may have any bras that would fit me?  I'm sorry I have no idea of my size"  She looked strangely and said she misheard and made me repeat it.  I could feel my cheeks burning, especially as a huge smile broke out on her face, 
She asked if it was for fancy dress or a stag do etc?  I just kind of errrred and muttered no and she said lets see.  (she did explain that they didnt measure in there) She shouted to the other salesgirl "Stacey, whats the biggest bra band size we have in?"  I had to look around, if there had been any other customers I would have been close to tears. The other girl came over and said she thought they had a few 40's in.  Then the woman serving me asked if she could grab one to see if it would fit.  She literally just burst out laughing, then apologised and walked off still laughing.  I was so red I could tell, Stacey brought back two bra's and said I would have to take my coat of, which I nervously did, she started to try and put them on over my work shirt but one wouldnt fit, and the other did fit just but she said that it would be way too tight to wear for more than a couple of minutes, she took them off and I thanked her and was heading to the exit when I saw a sales rack,  I ended up getting two new thong panties for like 80% off, but embarrasingly had to take them to the till.  I said to the first woman that I knew my panty size, she really tried to stifle a giggle but I could tell she was going to laugh her head off soon.  But she rang them through professionally, but then she mentioned the massager that was in my click and collect parcel, she asked if I had any lube for it and explained it would be much better with some.  (its not like an inserting one) so I ended up leaving with a "tingling" lube as well.
I was so embarrassed and left as quick as I could I could hear them both laughing as I went through the outer door into the street and could feel you know what throbbing.  I then went and grabbed a starbucks, as I really needed one before heading to my towns boots.  I had the eye brushes up on my phone to make sure I got the right ones and headed over to the cosmetics accessory aisle, I couldnt see them anywhere so I had to ask a very heavily made up assistant, I showed her my phone and said I was looking for them.  She said sure and took me straight over, explaining that they were very popular and for the price great quality, I dont know why but I just said "Well i've already got the foundation brush in this range and its great" She just looked at me whilst biting her bottom lip and her eyes were so wide, why did I say that???
Anyways I thanked her and paid up and left.  Then I drove home.  I'm sat here now throbbing like crazy feeling so humiliated, but so aroused, thank you 





The boots part of the trip was not a task, I just wanted some proper eyeshadow brushes as the little sponge things that come with the eyeshadow pallets just don't cut it!  

This trip was so embarrassing but I was aroused all day after it, I've added a couple of pics of my purchases, again hope someone may get something out of reading it, 

Feel free to comment or get in touch on twitter

Cinnamon xx





Tuesday, 3 November 2015

One of my favourite sissy task reports

Today I thought i'd post a blog about one of the assignments I was given by the Mean Girls a couple of months ago,  I was on some annual leave at work and the week previous had been sent on a couple of humiliation tasks.  This one though really took a step up.  I knew I had to go to a makeup counter and ask for advice, this was more than i'd ever done before and I was so nervous, so so nervous.  I've pretty much just copied the report I sent after completing the task with a couple of edits for privacy, and have put a couple of my thoughts at the end.  I had chosen a store pretty much in the next city over from me, and had to walk around outside to compose myself, my palms were clammy and my heart was racing.


I walked in the door and went past the makeup counters, there was Lancome, Estee Lauder, Clinique, Benefit, No7, Smashbox and a couple of others, the smells etc had the usual affect on me and I had to head straight past to the section at the back with greetings cards etc, I looked through them for a couple minutes trying to gather my thoughts and confidence, and slowly headed back over, I tried to stay away from the areas with other customers, and was around the benefit counter, just looking, then a couple of customers came over so I moved over to the fragrances.  A salesman there asked me If I needed any help, I kind of said I was just looking but had what would be an embarrassing question to ask when someone on a counter became free.  At that a Counter staff woman from Smashbox called from behind me called over "what is it" (she was on the floor in the cupboards under the counters so I hadnt noticed her) I thought theres no turning back now and asked, "Would you maybe be able to help me with what colours would suit me" I've never been as nervous in my life.  She smiled and said "Sure, whats it for, a fancy dress outfit?"
I replied, well no, this is really embarrasing for me, but when i'm at home sometimes I like to dress up to relax, but whenever I try makeup I end up looking ridiculous, (i've never admitted this face to face before to anyone, and told her that)
Her demeanor changed then, like really changed, her smile almost changed from like a work smile, into a genuine one.  She started coming out with questions like what sort of a look was I after, what have I used, 
I said really i've only ever experimented with lipsticks and gloss, and usually awful attempts on my eyes with liner, eyeshadow and mascara.  
She started to explain about it being best to have a base to go off, and started talking about foundation, she said she could show me if I liked.  (my head was going crazy now, there were other people walking around and i'm sure there was glances etc) She asked my budget, I replied well I guess i'm going to have to build up little by little, she said ok, then said a foundation from No7 would be better as the smashbox ones were like $45 if i've done the exchange rate right.  She excused herself and came back with a little scanner, she said it would match my skin to the right shade, it was put on my jaw line and took a couple images.  She then went and got some foundations, and testers.  She showed me the images and my match which is a No7 Cool Beige.  Using the textures she showed me some on her wrist and then offered to just sample on my skin, (I was throbbing at this point) she only put a bit on, then showed me in a mirror, I couldnt see a thing, she said it was a perfect match.  I was blushing so bad, and she noticed.  
This foundation was only just over $10 so I said i'd take it, she then explained a bit about concealer, but she said I looked lucky and I have very smooth skin (thank god i'd moisteurised and fully shaved earlier) so she didnt think i needed any at the moment.  She then also said that using primer helps with the foundation, especially at a small area of red i get under my eyes,  this was really pricey but she got a little tub and filled it for me as a sample, She asked if there was anything else I could help with.  I took the plunge and asked if she could help with with ideas for my eyes that would compliment me.  She said sure, she actually took me over to the normal racking at this point where there was so much makeup, ready to just pick up and go, there was a group of about four girls all about 20 looking through all the brands like Rimmel and Maybelline. I was bricking it big time.  She then looked at my eyes and said I was lucky as I have blue eyes, and lots of colours work.  She said a blue would draw away from my eyes (i only have a blue one at home) but browns would make my eye stand out a bit.  She selected a few palets and took me back to her counter, I asked if she could maybe tell me how to apply properly, and she sat me down.  I was swallowing so bad, she went to get a couple of her makeup trays and I was alone in the chair, with people passing by etc, I nearly got up and ran out but then she was back, she explained that she was going to use as close to the colours as she could, as the Prepacked ones had no testers.  I had to shut one eye and then she was using a lighter shimmery brown to the inside of my eye explaining I had to imagine my eyelid in 2 halfs.  but that I could use this lighter shade all the way to the brow if I wanted.  She then used a darker brown on the outer half of my eye, and once that was done blended them in the middle and explained about it.  I was in amazement when she handed me a hand mirror and looked, I also caught another salesgirl looking around the corner and smiling in the corner of my eye I was so embarrassed but was transfixed with trying to learn. 
She only offered to do one eye and removed the makeup after, and then I chose a cheap pallet of browns, maybe $5/6 that she said would work from the Rimmel collection.  She asked if there was anything else, and I asked about lipstick.  She was asking Matte or Gloss?  I was virtually speechless, we moved over to the lipsticks and she was clicking the testers out and holding them up, I wanted to melt as although she was amazing and friendly I could hear some giggling, she selected a few from Rimmel that she said would be half price as i was getting the shadow, and she kind of drew a line on my hands with them, she said I could go for more colour as my eyes werent going to be over the top.  We chose a Kate Moss by Rimmel pink lipstick in a matte finish, she said it would look great.
  I felt like i'd been there ages as she took me over to her till and rang the items up, she then asked quickly how I would apply the foundation and went through the benefits of using a foundation brush, I ended up with one she recommended at a cheap price. she even talked me through how to clean them. She then asked If I had one of their loyalty cards, (you get points when you spend and can use the points as cash in future) I said no, and she said if i signed up i'd get a discount on my purchase.  I said ok and it works out with the discount I got the brush for free.
I then asked if she could explain how best to put eyeliner on, but that I already had one, just my attempts never work, so she kind of showed me a few, and using a pencil demonstrated on her own eye so I could see, she explained to put the mascara on first and try to pull the eyelid taught to get an easier line.  I couldnt thank her enough, but knew I was being looked at by other people still.  She said next time I shouldnt be so nervous, she even said if I went back when the store was quieter  in a couple of weeks she would be happy to try and teach me some more and maybe show me some looks on myself if I was brave enough to sit in the chair for long enough (she said that they close at 9 and normally its really quiet the last hour or two early in the week, so I would be able to relax a bit more, with less customers, she also said what days she worked)  When the nights get a bit darker i'll be so tempted as I'd be ok driving home in the dark.
I left and got in my car and even though i'm home now my tiny excuse for a manhood is still throbbing, I never expected to be treated like that, she was so nice, I felt totally at ease with her, but still felt mortally embarrassed in the store, I hope this is ok and i've passed and sorry the writeup is so long, 




Since that day I must have been back numerous times to see the same girl.  I've had the guts to sit in the chair and have my makeup done properly, despite the odd looks, the giggles, i've nipped in other times to just ask a couple of questions and the girl has been more than happy to help. 
I guess as little as four months ago I never thought I would be able to do something like this, but the task the MeanGirls set me just pushed me into it.  Even now, i'm quite surprised just how the girl in the store reacted, (not freaked out and really helpful) the last couple of times i've been back she just smiles and says hi, last time she introduced me to one of the other counter girls by my name (which she remembered) as one of her regulars.

I don't know if anyone will read this, maybe it'll help someone into taking the plunge, I wish i'd done it years ago..

I love as well how the Mean Girls laughed like crazy after i'd finished this and the other tasks, especially describing how the girls in the store will be gossiping about this for weeks.  I hope to do many more tasks for them.  Mean Girls website is here if you want to know more about them

please feel free to leave any thoughts on this or get me on twitter

Cinnamon xxx





Monday, 2 November 2015

Events of the last week

I thought i'd make a more detailed post on some of the events of the last week after my first post late last night.

For some reason, being laughed at, feeling embarrassed etc has always been a thing for me,  I paid another visit to the makeup counter i've been going to early in the week and saw the young woman who has been so helpful.  She actually introduced me to one of the other MUA's by name as one of her regulars, before helping me select a lipstick that is a match to my foundation shade.  I was so embarrassed at being introduced to others, and I got the tingle of humiliation as other customers were clearly talking to themselves about me, after all i'm sure its not every day they see a guy quite obviously buying makeup for himself.

Later in the week I was browsing in a charity store mainly for second hand books, (I may be a sissy but I love to read, watch movies and do plenty of "normal" things) I saw the clothing area, and as it had been mentioned on a phone call with the two Mistresses I looked through the clothes, most were fairly worn, but there were a couple of fairly large items there.  I held them up to me and asked the woman in the store if she thought that they would fit me?   She looked shocked and I quickly used the excuse it was for a fancy dress, at which she seemed ok, she said she thought they would and they were only very cheap so I got them as well as one of my favourite childhood books, all for under £5

Now the week before at work i'd kind of put my foot in it, there was a conversation in the canteen between a few of the girls about makeup, I was minding my own business as normal but overheard them talking about primer for the eyes.  This really peaked my interest as in one of my last visits to the makeup counter I was told the benefits of this and ended up with some.  I have no idea why but I joined the conversation and said it was a great base for eyeshadow, it increases the pigmentation and helps it last.  Now the girls looked at me like WTF!  Since then i've received a few msgs from one of them and i've been paranoid as hell at work.  I'm sure all the girls know now.  One of them approached me on saturday asking what I thought of a certain shade of pink on her phone.  The other girls in the room all burst out laughing, I knew then that they all knew, but the glint in her eye got me so excited.

It really does seem like an endless path i'm on now, was so happy to be paid a compliment on my eyes last night, but still felt so embarrassed, i'll never be able to look at an ice cube tray in the same way again *blushes*
I guess i'm trying to say that not all humiliation is out and out in your face yelling and stuff, some is so subtle that noone will really know about it, the more I get the more I crave,

Sunday, 1 November 2015

My first blog post

I've been encouraged to start a blog to record the journey I'm on.

I guess i've always been submissive, and have always had a thing for makeup.  A few years ago I started to experiment with panties, and lipsticks, and a few disastrous attempts at eyeshadows etc.

Earlier this summer I started to chat online with two Mistresses who have took me further than I ever thought I would go.  I've done some tasks that were so embarrassing but at the same time took me to a higher state of arousal than I've ever been before.  I've been shoeshopping trying on ladies shoes in stores.  I've been to makeup counters to ask for help, (a long time fantasy) I've humiliated myself on cam so many times for them i've lost count.

I guess i'll be going into more detail with future tasks, humiliations etc, just wanted to do a starting post.

Cinnamon x