Sunday, 27 November 2016

Another instalment from this awesome week

Hey everyone.  I know this is like the third post in a week, but a lots happened.  After the events of the past few days Helping Mistress film and also what happened at Sinnation last weekend I was having cravings, and they were getting intense having seen lots of other slaves being played with, although some of the stuff scared me I still felt the ache and cravings grow, but I knew I had my session with Mistress Courtney to look forward to.

The day came later in the week and I felt the usual nervous excitement along with the cravings and the ache which grew as I got closer to the dungeon.  As usual they peaked as I knocked at the door.  Which was opened by Mistress looking stunning as ever and I was shown in.  I said hello to Mistress Luci as I was shown into the same room as last time, we had a little chat about the other day, and other things before Mistress left me with the instruction to get dressed.  After a couple of minutes Mistress was back and loved my dress, and especially my stockings,
 and she sat me down before doing my makeup.  All the while speaking softly, I was as drawn in as ever.   We took a couple of pics then, before I was strapped to the bench.  As always i'm not going to go into all the details, but over the rest of the session I was teased, and for the first ever time had electrics used on me.  Along with wax, a blindfold, Mistresses nails, a little pinwheel I was soon squirming, being blindfolded it seemed Mistresses footsteps were echoed,  As the session went on I was losing myself deep in something i've never experienced before, I could hear Mistress whispering in my ear, and using her nails on something that seems to be a real trigger point for me,  I can't explain what I was feeling as I was craving the ideas Mistress was putting in my head.  Eventually a command i've been craving for a while was whispered, and well wow, that is all i'm saying.

I was led there almost unable to move after and was trembling.  My head was very happily spinning as slowly Mistress went and got some water then had me sitting up, before standing up.  She said it looks like you've found subspace.   Thinking about it now, i've never felt like that before, I was tingling all over, but felt exhausted and crazily happy.  I was then left to clean up and shower and dress.  There was wax everywhere, and Mistress came back in with some chocolate and we had a chat after, she said i'd had a very kinky week, and made sure I was back on planet earth.  I was given a homework task and left with the biggest smile on my face.  As always I seemed to float back home.  Maybe seeing a Mistress is an antidote to getting annoyed stuck in traffic.

I spent the evening feeling all floaty and happy just thinking what had happened.  The evening seemed to disappear and I drifted into some awesome and vivid dreams.  I did also have on saturday morning what I've been told may have been subdrop.  Thats another first for me, can't say its a good thing.  But I was glad of a bit of support I got on twitter as a couple of people recognised it, also Mistress had said it may happen, its hard to explain, but after a relaxed day full of little treats and a play with a new toy in the evening I got off to sleep last night and woke up feeling fine today.  Still having flashbacks though.  Of squirming as Mistress whispered in my ear, feeling my whole body tense and tremble, flinch slightly at the wax, and pulse with the electrics.  Looking back, the day of feeling lousy was well worth it.

I mentioned a new toy, but maybe thinking that will be best left for another post.  I'm going to wrap this up now, what a great end to this week of kinky fun though.  I hope theres more soon.  As always feel free to chat, either on here, or on twitter thanks for reading

Cinnamon xx

Thursday, 24 November 2016

A new experience, and great day

Hey everyone, I said in my last post that this could really be a week full of kink.  So far it really has been.  After my night at Sinnation at the weekend and a relaxing(ish) day on sunday I found myself getting ready for a drive on Monday.  I'd been asked a few days before if I could maybe help Mistress Courtney and Mistress Chloe on their filming day by doing some recording,  i'd said yes pretty much straight away and was looking forward to it.

So it came to Monday morning and I got set off driving in what must have been the most hellacious driving conditions I have ever known.  So much spray on the motorway and a few near calls with people not looking before moving whilst wondering just what would happen as this was all new to me.  I also had the obligatory service station coffee stop before finding myself close to the location, TP_Dungeon so I pulled up and relaxed for a few minutes.  I headed over and saw Mistress Courtney outside and said hi, I was introduced to Mistress Chloe and shown the studio, then I helped unload the car.  The first of the filming slaves arrived then too.  We set a couple of cameras up then I was given a few instructions, and told how to use the cameras.  The other slaves had arrived by then and were in a chat with ideas etc.  Then the fun started, i'm not going to go into detail over everything I saw, but I saw a lot *blushes* we were there for the entire afternoon and managed to get a good few clips filmed, i'll be honest a lot of the clips were of things that aren't usually my sort of thing, but I found myself being in awe of the Mistresses and the way they were, from CP to CBT with a lot of things inbetween, I was having a few cravings of being played with as well.  But I had a job to do, even when a couple of moments made my eyes water.  So I kept focussed and tried my best to make the clips good, I felt quite voyeuristic as well  (if i'm being completely honest as well, for the second  time in three days I was seeing other naked guys, what I saw really made me feel quite small, I always knew I was but that hit home)  I think everyone there had a laugh through the day.  I feel I learned a lot, but also enjoyed it.  Seeing Mistress Courtney happy was an amazing feeling.  And I felt really good that i'd been able to help.  I stayed till the end and helped load Mistresses car up after before heading back to my car.

The journey home was thankfully slightly less wet,  and my mind was racing.  I was so aware of the ache I was feeling, after witnessing everything the last couple of days.  And I got home tired but happy.  I got changed and had a bite, then messaged to Mistress I was home safely like she's asked and confessed that I was kind of aching after seeing everything.  Her reply was that she may keep me in "chastity" (not caged just denied) till my session later in the week.  So from there I knew there wouldn't be any releases just yet.   For the next couple of days I felt the ache grow and grow as my imagination kept running wild.  Strangely though I was doing a vanilla hobby on tuesday and my aim was on fire.  It was supposed to be a competition but that was postponed. Oh well I would have kicked ass if it was on.

Anyways I'm going to leave this for now, there will be another update from this amazing week at some point though (its a bit too fresh for me to really blog about at the moment).  as always feel free to chat to me, either on here or on twitter

Cinnamon xx

PS, Can I call myself a cameraman, or would it be camerasissy *blushes*

Sunday, 20 November 2016

My night at Sinnation

Hi everyone, I'm hoping this will be a fun blog post,  after my adventure last night.  I'd bought a ticket for the first Sinnation event a few weeks ago and had been looking forward to it as it was the first event like that I have ever been to.  I'm guessing as well if you've read any of my recent posts as well you'd know i'd been wondering just what to wear.  I'd been told that I could arrive "vanilla" and change into whatever I felt comfortable in.  Now I wear lingerie most of the time under my guy clothes, but have never really been fully dressed in front of more than one Mistress, but thanks to some encouragement on twitter from Mistress Felix I'd found a dress online, and some heels, and decided I was going to do it.

So anyway time drew around to yesterday and I spent most of the day getting myself ready, and packing a bag with all my things in.  I travelled to the location at the Manchester Chambers, and as usual for my first visit somewhere got a little bit lost, but found myself sat outside soon enough.  I actually met Mistress Felix and her slave outside and they showed me in.  Whilst I was checking my coat and showing my ticket etc I was introduced as Cinnamon to the other people in the room.  This made me blush, which didnt go unnoticed.  Was asked if I wanted to get changed and was shown upstairs to a room and left to get changed.  I was just about ready, when Mistress Felix came in and gave me some help with my makeup, she is very talented, I'm not sure what she did to my eyebrows but they looked amazing.

We went back downstairs to a playroom where there was a sushi girl.  A lot of the other people there were posing for pics and enjoying the sushi off her body.  I think this was the point that I was the most nervous, as there was quite a few people in the room, I was introduced to a few more people and  then stood back to watch a demonstration of Shibari, I've seen pictures of this before but actually seeing someone who was an expert in it in action was something else.  It truly looks like an work of art in progress.  There was some play starting to happen as a slave was worshipping a Mistresses feet during the demo.  I didnt really join in any play, was happy just to watch and try soak things in.  Especially as i'd never really met any of the people there before.  I talked to a few people and then headed upstairs for more Demos, one by Mistress Arabella who had a slave strapped to a bench and proceeded to give a spanking, paddling and caning demo.  Even the cane snapped.  During this I was speaking to another Mistress who remembered me from my day at Sexhibition who said she thought she had remembered me and that she liked my outfit.

There was a bar there that I couldnt properly enjoy with having to drive but I headed over there to cool down a bit, and outside it was very chilly before I headed back upstairs and taken into a room by Mistress Felix, she introduced me to another couple of Mistresses as Cinnamon,  and asked me to watch, I then for the first time ever saw a violet wand used, in tandem with a magic wand, the slave was squirming,  when they started tickling him I got a little bit jealous, (I love being tickled when I can't move) Although I dont think I have a pain threshold like some of the people there.

I had to sit down after a few hours as my feet had started to ache, but it was getting pretty late by then and eventually I got my bag to change ready to leave.  I did have a nightmare though getting my dress unzipped as it had stuck, thankfully though I was helped by Mistress Lola to get it open.  Before I got changed and headed back downstairs.  Chatted for another few minutes and thanked the Mistresses who'd organised it and said my goodbyes.  I had the most traffic free journey home ever (it was 1.45am though) and had some very kinky dreams last night.  I loved that I had the balls to go through with wearing the dress and not going to lie have loved some of the comments I had, I also loved that I didnt feel weird, or pressurised into anything.  Some of the play I saw was way beyond anything i've done yet.  But all in all I had a really good night, and hopefully i'll get to attend more things like this in the future.

A link to the event page is here  Sinnation

That was a hell of a start to my time off work, *blushes* although there is much more to come hopefully starting tomorrow but my lips are sealed, this really could be a week of kink!  As always feel free to chat, either here or on twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

The next week of kink!!

Hey everyone, just thought as its been a couple of weeks since my last post i'd write a quick one.  I'll be honest its been a couple weeks of anticipation growing ready for my time off work thats coming up so fast now, and a few things are falling into place for it.  As I said last time I have a ticket for the first Sinnation event this weekend.  And thanks to my only female friend who knows about this side of me I virtually have an outfit ready, the dress and heels are here, (I have been trying to practice on them) All I'm waiting for now is a pair of tights and a bag which we've ordered.  (I have to have somewhere to keep a few things hehe).  Anyways I've got a fair few nerves now although I'm sure I will be fine when I get there.  I really have no idea what to expect of the night, but it promises to be a lot of fun.  I guess i'll be letting you all know more after it.

Then after that i'm into my final period of annual leave for the year, which i've got a fair few plans.  Some of them vanilla but also have a session booked with the awesome Mistress Courtney which to be totally honest i've been looking forward to since my last one.  There may be a couple of other things happening in the next few weeks too but i'm not going to be jinxing them by talking about them on here yet.  I guess last week I took a bit of a plunge,  I suppose its like Eminem said in "Lose Yourself"

If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?
I would never have thought, 14/15 years ago i'd be making a decision and taking a chance based on the intro to that song.  Especially one like this, but i've done it now, and who knows what will happen from it.  At least I wont be sat in a few years thinking I wonder what would have happened if i'd only took that shot?   

Been a lot of time to think and fantasise the last couple of weeks, and i'm really finding my cravings evolve in a way.  A couple of years ago I would have been like just a horny mess, hoping to be allowed to cum in some way whilst being humiliated.  Whereas now, yes I'm not going to say humiliation does nothing for me at all, but its not all I think of.  Yes I think of some of the wonderful and intriguing things that have happened to me in both sessions and also at the couple of events i've been to, one thing I can't forget though was being introduced to a group of vanilla women as a sissy.  kneeling before them, afraid to lift my eyes at first but feeling just that hand on my head making me feel safe, despite my whole body shaking, the fantasy of cumming doesn't come anywhere close to the dream of that feeling.  
I really do love that I seem to be learning all of the time, theres always something new and I seem to be accepting myself more the more I learn.  Realising that making a Mistress happy makes me not only happy but makes me tingle and seems to be taking a much more prominent postition in my fantasies.  Right I'm going to wrap this one up.  As always feel free to chat, on here or on my twitter and i'll be looking forward to writing my next post *blushes*

Cinnamon xxxx

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

A little update, and where it all began

Hey everyone, i've been kicking an idea around for a blog post for a while now about how I developed into who I am today.  Firstly in the last couple years or so i've had the fortune both to meet and speak to some amazing people who have helped me accept who I am.  But these thoughts and fantasies that seem to consume me aren't just some recent thing.

I dont know if this is true for all submissives or anyone into kink but for as long as I can remember I have had fantasies about being forced into makeup, normally by a group of girls when I was younger that gradually changed into women as I grew up.  At first there was nothing sexual about it, hell I dont think I even knew what sex was back then.  But I can vividly remember the dreams, more than some other stuff from childhood.  For a long time I daren't share these anywhere and as I went through my teenage years tried to suppress the thoughts and appear as normal as possible.  I did alright at school with marks/ grades etc but was an idiot out of it.  Typical teenage stuff really, now I think about it was I overacting the "normal" teenage role?  who knows.  But school and college passed and Uni beckoned.  It was about this time that the internet was just starting to take off.  The century was changing and I was moving in to a sort of semi independent place.  I'd seen a few things about fetishes, and kinks,  but still was nowhere near a position to accept it, I didnt even know "forced fem" was a thing, only really that there were Dominatrix's etc.

I pretty much wore panties for the first time at uni. They weren't mine, and they weren't stolen.  But I kind of had a loose relationship with a girl and I kind of found them after we had split up, one thing led to another and I couldn't resist, the electric feeling I got was something i'd never had before, and for a while after that night I never wore other girly things.  Although the idea was very much planted in my head then.  I kind of tried a few phonesex lines at this time, and although I guess I felt humiliated a bit it just seemed that whoever you got through to was basically going off a script.  Although as a treat when you'd been single a while I thought it was cool.  My kinky development then totally stopped when I finished Uni, as I embarked on what now seems ridiculous, a nearly year long trip around Europe travelling as finding work as I went.  I experienced real SPH for the first time on this trip,  i'll never forget the humiliation as a dutch girl laughed her head off, even more so when it got obvious I was enjoying it.  After that I was wary around dating and even more so when I got home.

Back home the internet had really moved forward, apparently there was going to be something called broadband soon, where you didnt have to hog an entire phone line to browse.  I think i first found a few humiliation sites about this time, and if I had spare time would be basically looking through web-teases and things.  A couple year later I actually took a plunge and started chatting online with a Mistress, man looking back now I wish I knew half of what I did now, as something happened that put me off for a long time and left me in a terrible state,  this isn't the place for details, I know a couple of you may know from chatting but still here isn't the place.

I'm going to be skipping a couple of years again now, to late 2011 I think.  I'd finally started to use twitter.  And as I had my own place again was occasionally using phonesex and chatting about femdom and humiliation again, but again it was one off calls.  This was until on twitter I met Mistress Charlotte, we tweeted a bit and I took part in a series of Humiliation tasks she set called the 12 humiliations of christmas.  Writing reports up every day and having fun.  So much so that after the Xmas holidays I called her on her phone lines and begun a phone relationship that took me further than i'd ever been before.  I had genuine feelings for her and could really tell the difference in our calls as she had got to know me, yes she was on the other side of an ocean, but I learned a lot from the time I spent with her.  However about 18 months later she disappeared.  I still have no idea what happened to her and just hope she is happy.

I took a break from calling anyone then, and to be honest was in and out of hospital for a while, but then found myself calling another Lady, who is still on twitter, Miss Jane.  However with my illness I felt I wasn't in the right place and couldnt do as I was asked.  So after a few calls had to ease off for a while.  So it came to the summer of 2015 and after a few messages I called the MeanGirls for the first time.  I'm not going to say I was hooked straight aways but I knew if they allowed I would be calling back, and for nearly the next year I was calling when I could and carrying out any task they set.  It was them who gave me the idea to start this blog and I learned a lot from them.  Yes on a call I got plenty of the humiliation I craved, (cam and Skype were totally new to me)  But from their tweets I learned a lot.  I'll always be grateful to them.  But I had an itch, and asked if they would mind if I went to see a real Mistress, (theres more details on this in previous posts)  This led to my first real time session, and if you've read this blog you know what has happened since then.

I've found when I get all submissive now, i'm thinking more of trying to please than I am of getting horny and getting myself off.  I genuinely think for the first time i'm being the real me, and I dont think i've ever been happier.

So there you have it, thought I would try and write a post about my journey, without giving away too many personal details, but as for the little update I mentioned in the title, my first "kinky play event" is now only a couple of weeks away and theres a few nerves building but i've bought a ticket and the majority of a new outfit including these shoes, and a new dress thats all pink and sparkly.  I just need a bag and some new holdups and i'm all set I think!

Also some of you may remember the day I had at Sexhibition this year, well I took the plunge and have booked the whole weekend off for next year so hopefully there will be more fun, and also have time booked off to head down to that there London, which will hopefully include a trip to one of the kinky club nights that I have heard so much about.

Theres so much to look forward to, as I will be hopefully seeing Mistress Courtney again for another session when i'm off work in a couple of weeks.  Seriously right now I love my life!!

Anyways this has gone on for an age so i'm going to wrap it up, if you've stuck it out this long thanks for reading, I guess this is kinda a personal post, feel free to chat on here or on twitter as always.

Cinnamon xxx

P.S it was Halloween yesterday so a HarleyCinn pic had to be added :) I do love that makeup app!!!!