I've been writing posts on this blog for nearly 18 months now, and exploring my submissive side slightly longer. I was happy, making the occasional niteflirt call to the MeanGirls when I could and doing assignments for them. I'd had a couple of semi public experiences like say at the makeup counter, but it was about this time last year I got a small bonus from my job, and after a lot of thought an idea was forming in my head. I'd thought about a Real Time session with a dominatrix in the past, but to be honest had been a little scared, or had not been in a position to treat myself financially, so nothing had come of my thoughts.Anyways, I can remember being on my knees on cam to the MeanGirls one night, pretty much around this time last year, having had a good a call as ever, and having just a quick chat after, I just asked if they would mind if I looked into having a RT session. I was thankful they said sure and that it was cool. Even though its like a year ago I can remember coming off the phone and thinking oh god I will have to look into this now. I took a good few days before really doing anything although I had looked at a number of websites of Dommes. I guess in my area up here in the NW we are blessed with a number of Mistresses. (well within an hour or so's drive) There were a few who's websites stood out, and one more than any others. (for a reason i've kept private since then for fear of sounding stupid)
I read the website and read it again. Before writing an email trying to follow what the website said. I wrote it and left it in my drafts for a couple of days all nervous, while googling things like "How to initially contact a Mistress" trying to gather some tips. It was probably about a week later I was comfortable and ready to send the email. I tried to keep it short, polite, explaining my interests but also that i'd never done anything like this before so I really wasn't sure of my limits etc, and briefly mentioned pretty much the one thing that I really have no interest in exploring.
I can still remember sitting there for a moment after I pressed send, my heart was racing and I thought well its done now. I wasn't expecting a reply straight away, but hoped that the email I had sent was ok and wouldn't just be dismissed. I also went away wild camping for a couple of days so had no access to any form of internet, but a few days later when I was back I checked my emails and had a reply.
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| Ready for my first ever spanking |
Yes the Mistress said she would be able to arrange a session around what I had put in my email, while also explaining not all sessions would involve pain, plus there would be a safe word etc. I felt at ease with the reply and over another couple of emails had a date and time set for my first session. It was still a couple of weeks ago so my imagination had a lot of fun. Indeed I think the MeanGirls had fun teasing me about what may happen on a call before the session, while also saying I would have to let them know what happened in detail. Then finally the day came, I followed the instructions I had been given, (confirming in the morning etc) and I headed off into the unknown. I can still visualise that first session so clearly, from the Dungeon door opening and meeting Mistress Courtney for the first time. Being shown into the dungeon and having an introductory chat, (where I did confess the reason I had been drawn to her website) before being left for a moment. When Mistress re-entered the session started and I was almost under a spell. From the instant Mistress realised I was in panties *blushes* that little giggle. I had my first spanking, and my first real experience of real time BDSM play
Since then I've had some more sessions that I will have commented on already on here, and some experiences that I never would have thought possible just a short while ago. If someone had told me I would have been on nights out dressed totally as Cinnamon I would have probably bet my car against it, but it happened, helping out as a camera-man (ahem sissy) again I wouldn't have believed it, being used as a "demo" model in front of a hen party of 10 women? you've guessed it, I may have dreamed it but never thought it possible. And here I am looking forward to my next session, a year on from the first, with the possibility of something else Mistress has mentioned in the future too. I've probably never been happier or felt more accepted for this side of me, and i'm sure i'll be back with more updates with more kink in them than this one.
I guess this post has a bit of a subverted meaning to it, if you have dreams, there is no harm in chasing them. It doesn't matter if "normal" people would think that they are a bit weird, if everyone was the same life would be so boring. Take a chance and go for them. I found out yesterday an old schoolfriend has passed away, its reminded me life is short. Happiness in yourself is more important than any material riches, and keeping hopes and dreams bottled away is no quick route to the happy places. I'm gonna wrap this up, hope this post doesn't bore anyone, I just felt I had to write it and as always feel free to chat to me on twitter
Cinnamon xxx
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