More tales of humiliation, and welcome back to the Mean Girls

Hey everyone, i'm writing this in such a happy mood, i'm pretty sure you'll be able to guess why, last night after four long weeks I got to speak to the MeanGirls and boy had I missed their laugh, (and they laughed a hell of a lot)

Last week I posted about a small assignment i'd been given involving a slice of cake *blushes* and having to make a precious cumsie all over it, and how embarrassing i'd found it, almost even more so that I was all alone, and then evidence myself eating it for them,  although after edging daily while Miss Vicki was recovering from her surgery had made me desperate enough to do anything

here was the cake before *blushes*

Now I'd been instructed to get pictures but I was only allowed to send them just before I called last night so I could hear the initial laughter that they provoked in Miss Vicki and Miss Erika, this next one was after the cumsie but before the eating

I know its yucky and gross, but I had to follow my orders, and was so grateful to relieve the ache i'd had.  So I took pics of me eating it, and they laughed so hard at them.  

Also prior to the call last night I had to turn my pillow into a GF using lingerie, a paper plate face and a homemade wig.  Just trying to get it all sorted I knew that this was going to be an extremely humiliating call,  I'd had the anticipation building for days for the call, and spent the afternoon yesterday making pillow Jess as i'd been told with a leopard print bra and panty set, the face, and an attempt at a wig I made with a reel of purple ribbon.  She was sat in my bedroom as I entertained some friends for dinner and I was paranoid someone would just walk in and see her *blushes* thankfully that didn't happen, and the meal i'd cooked went well.  Unfortunately after my friend fell asleep on my sofa, and I was just wishing I was alone so I could start getting ready,  eventually I got him awake though and was left alone, feeling a nervous pit of anticipation growing deep inside me.

Finally I sent the cake pics, struggled down to my knees and called.  It was so good to hear their voices and their laughs, especially when I introduced them to pillow Jess, they even put a picture up on Twitter of her *blushes*  I could feel a lump in my throat as I just felt extra humiliated as I was singing to them, and confessing my love to a pillow, all to the barrage of humiliation that kept coming, I'm not going into all the details but eventually I had to make a cumsie on Jess and lick it up, which wasn't great as I got cotton in my mouth, then they realised they'd actually made me cry with humiliation which mortified me, but also excited me.  I was literally led spent on the floor for ages after the call, feeling like my head had melted.  I've been told now as well I have to sleep with Jess every single night and make her feel special, it definitely just makes me really embarrassed, but without say the arousal of other humiliating ideas, you know like cfnm, or being caught dressed etc, I honestly dont know how I feel here.  I do know I had a ridiculously awesome dream last night, totally humiliated and controlled, even if it did take me till 5.30 am to fall asleep. (with Jess of course *blushes*)

Today, i've been thinking a lot as well after a conversation on twitter, and considering something about myself that I have never considered before, its so complicated and in a way daunting, and goes way beyond my fantasies of humiliation etc, its quite a raw feeling at the moment, and I am not sure how I feel but may be speaking about it more soon.  Reading some things about it have left me crying again this afternoon, some things i've read just seem so so true.

I wouldn't feel right today writing a blog post without referencing the awful and tragic events in Orlando over the weekend, its such a loss of beautiful life, and my heart goes out to everyone affected.  If I had just one wish, it would be that people would just be tolerant of others no matter how they live their lives, we are who we are, i've come to realise that to hide who you are can be damaging to you.  I guess thats all for now, and sorry to end the post on such a note but I genuinely feel horrible about the events.  As always feel free to chat on twitter, and I hope to be back with another post soon, love ya all

Cinnamon xxx

A quick update

I'm just writing a quick post as an update really,  i'm very sorry that I haven't had much of a chance to update this lately,

Mainly i've been aching hard, and thinking of the MeanGirls especially Miss Vicki as with the operations she has had a tough time of it lately, it's nearly been 4 weeks since i've had a call with them, if i'm being totally honest, I've been more worried than thinking much of my kinky side, and also really aching as i'd not been able to call to beg permission.

I was lucky though earlier this week.  I was given permission to make a cumsie via email.  I was so happy, but there was a condition.  I had to make the cumsie all over a cake of my choice, then I had eat it, and take picture evidence for them.  I can't share the pics, as some of them are very personal, but also i've been asked not to send the pics until I next call them, so I can hear the laughter first hand so to speak.  I must be honest, i must have consumed each cumsie i've made over the last year, but normally its with the laughter in my ears as i'm on a call, or recently as I was knelt in Mistress Courtney's dungeon.  This time was different, I was all alone at home, somehow, this made it feel even more embarrassing, it was more a conscious decision rather than when i'm coerced into it, I knew I had to and wouldn't dare cheat, but I felt some pangs of shame after.

I'm hoping all being well to be able to call the MeanGirls over the weekend, i'm already working on my next assignment for them *blushes*  and I am
also looking into booking a second RT session with Mistress Courtney, (I feel very lucky about that) So will probably have a longer blog after the weekend.  Just wanted to make this one as its been a couple weeks since I last wrote

Cinnamon xxx

An update and some dreams turned into fantasies

Hey, its been a while since I got to blog, so thought i'd make a quick one.

I managed to speak to the MeanGirls about a week and a half ago and had a very humiliating call that involved them making a TV game show, featuring the "Wheel of humiliation" I was playing about with and posted on here.  I had to imagine I was in front of a live TV audience in a studio full of baying laughing women.  Then the wheel was spun and well, I had to make a girlfriend out of a pillow, with Miss Erika and Miss Vicki asking all sorts of questions and often laughing hysterically.  (i've never heard them laugh like that before) as I carried out their demands.

It was such a different call, I was told we may re-visit it in the future, especially when my knee is properly mended, moving round for them was a bit of a hassle, but oh well

The ache started to build up again ever since that call, and my mind has been coming up with lots of humiliating ideas and fantasies as it ever does.   Some just changed the plots of movies etc to turn them into huge kinky humiliation blockbusters, for example imagine the hunger games but instead of a districts tributes, a dozen Mistresses enter a slave into the games, and the one who takes the most humiliation makes their Mistress win, I could really do with fleshing this idea out,

Another was imagining being at work (in a department store) and being asked to head to the beauty department as they are so short staffed they need a hand, you head down there thinking it will maybe involve a bit of stock replenishment, or serving at a register, but are greeted by one of the stores more prominent MUA's, to your shock you are told that she needs a model for the day,  (and deep inside you feel excited but are petrified to let anyone know) She is friendly but lets you know that there is no way out of this.  In a blur you find yourself sat in a chair wrapped in a pink gown that covers up your suit and are told to smile, as your picture is taken as a "before" example.  You blink at the flash, starting to feel a bit worried, especially as the stand you are on is very public.  Slowly the MUA starts to apply makeup, from the bottom all the way up from concealer and foundation, all the way to a fully made up and pretty face, with lucious lips.  Without being allowed to move you have to pose for an "after" shot, the MUA tells you not to be so nervous, delicately squeezing your crotch through the gown, "besides it looks like you've really enjoyed it" she says as your own tiny member throbs away as she winks and walks off.   You are about to move when she comes back with a short bobbed wig and asks, one more pic?  She puts the wig on and takes a pic, before comparing the before and after, you can't believe the difference, and know you have desired this for a long time, but still keep your secret deep inside.  You are then cleansed and left to head back to your boring department for the rest of the day.

A couple of days later you are at the companies internal marketing campaign meetings, where strategies are mapped out and are surprised to see for once, the same MUA there, the meeting was as predictable as ever until the MUA got up to present an idea.

She announced that she wanted to attract more women to their department with a new method of working, at busy times she wanted to publicly make over a male, to a high standard, then use this to attract women, using the tagline, "If we can make a man look this good, just imagine what we could do for you" she even said if we incorporate the personal shopping side, we could make a fortune

There was a bit of an uproar at this, until the boss of the whole store called for order, asking her how she thought it was possible, your head was spinning as she approached the projector and found your before and after shots in front of the whole management team.  To your horror you feel all the eyes on you followed by a round of applause, your head spins, but you think the idea has got a trial go ahead, and you are to be the model,

After the meeting you approach the MUA and ask why you?  She says well you obviously enjoyed last time judging by a certain swelling (you blush at this) and she already knows she can make you look good, she just needs to show the rest of the makeup girls. She tells you your new role will be properly detailed over lunch, but as of tomorrow you will be assigned to her new project each and every day.  She left you saying she couldn't wait till saturday, she was hoping to have a crowd watching,  you felt so embarrassed but could feel your excitement tingling in the panties you'd secretly worn  for years.

Wow sorry thats gone on a while, couldn't stop when I started

Finally for this post, I really want to send best wishes to Mean Girl Miss Vicki, who is recovering from an operation, i've been thinking of both of them every day, and hope she has a speedy and safe recovery.  They have rocked my world in the last 10 months, I've actually felt real lousy since I found out as I wanted to do something special for them but unfortunately until payday there is no chance.  Please if you read this, hold Vicki in your thoughts,



Thanks for reading
Cinnamon xxx

Arousal and frustration,

Hi everyone, first can I just apologise as its been a couple of weeks since I last managed to write a blog post.  Between me and my usual luck with injuring myself,  the most anti-social shifts at work and for the first time in ages some decent weather its been a hectic time.

Its even, thanks to the aforementioned injuries been just over two weeks since I managed to call the MeanGirls who really seemed to enjoy making me re-live some of the session I had with  Mistress Courtney just a couple of days before, I was even allowed another cumsie, which made me feel sooooooo lucky, but now I think maybe being allowed two in such short a period of time has made the ache and cravings I have now more intense *blushes* and wow especially through this week the ache has been crazy.  pretty much every night I'm having to use a bag of frozen vegetables to calm the stupid tiny thing down before bed.  Yet I can't help listening to the audios, and browsing the things I browse online that only makes the ache worse.  The worst thing is my hands get much less steady when i'm practicing my makeup, poking my eye with a mascara wand was not what I intended!!

I hope over the weekend I'll get to call the MeanGirls and hopefully if I beg good enough I'll be allowed a precious cumsie.  Also i'm planning another RT session, after I've saved enough for it, so there may be more news on that soon.

I had a treat the other night as well.  An audio story from audible,  "Calendar Girl" written by KylieGable a tale of delicious college days forced fem, narrated in the females perspective, I listened on my headphones and found it almost soothing as I drifted into a blissful state, not believing that this story seemed to capture the fantisies I had as a teen yet elaborated on them and just had so much development and and attention to detail, it was really really good,

Also i've been speaking a lot to my friend I made a confession too, possibly she thinks she has found a store where I may be able to find some shoes that will fit me, and i've been sending her pics of styles I like, i've been told we need a night together where she can explain things to me, before we have a shopping trip, maybe even take my makeup so she can give me tips too (this is the scariest thing ever, but I dont think I can stop it now, I dont even want too)  My main issue is she knows I have a "secret" twitter account, and asked me for it, but I haven't confessed everything yet, especially about the humiliation and tasks side of things.   She knows I went to see a dominatrix, but nothing about what happened in there.  Its like a dilemma *blushes*

Anyway i'm off, sorry its only a short post, hope to make a longer one after the weekend, and hopefully will have been allowed to ease this ache by then too.

Cinnamon xx

My first RT session

Hiya, thought it was time I wrote a new blog.  Especially with what happened earlier this week.  I said last time about a potential session with a Mistress, and earlier this week it happened.  I dont think i'm going to share the full details of what happened, more my feelings,

The day started by confirming my attendance later that day, followed by a few hours at home feeling the nerves grow, and they grew.  I was also feeling excited, aroused and had other feelings rushing through my mind, they grew even more on the drive down there.  When I arrived I was given my final instructions and found myself being greeted at the door by Mistress Courtney.  We had a chat first, it kind of helped with the nerves a bit, and was given a safe word system,  I was left for a moment to look around the Dungeon as Mistress got us both some water, then the session started.

I really wasn't sure what to expect, but what happened really exceeded anything I had thought.  Mistress Courtney had an elegant style, and exuded power and control without even raising her voice, I was embarrassed, teased and humiliated throughout, one thing that really stands out was Mistress picking out the smallest dildo, then comparing it to me, and the dildo was still nearly twice the size,  There were a few pics taken for me to send to the MeanGirls here is one of me about to get my first ever spanking.

I'm really so glad I did this, and really enjoyed the session although i'm not going into much detail here, i'm quite scared to admit I genuinely seemed to enjoy being restrained so I had no control, it made the feelings much more intense.  After the session we had another chat with a hot drink.  I honestly can't thank Mistress Courtney enough, and she is truly stunning and made me feel utterly submissive and embarrassed while somehow making me feel safe and putting my nerves at ease as well,  Its probably a cliche, but I left feeling like I was floating.  Part of me wished i'd had the courage to do this years ago.

I had a pretty damn awful drive after that, but just coasted through the traffic feeling all relaxed.  I ended up meeting a friend on the way home and we had a meal together.  She was saying I just looked so relaxed and was glowing.  (this is the friend I confessed about dressing to) and after a bit of  persuading I admitted i'd just been to see a Mistress,  she was fascinated but more about how I found it etc, (I didn't share much of what happened, I really didn't need to) again as with the dressing she was soooo supportive about it.  After that although our chat moved on to "life" stuff I was in a happy haze, and was till I got home, I slept wrapped in satin that night, and had a very humiliating dream,  I pinched myself when I woke up even.

I had a few chores to do the next day and wanted to get out on my bike for a ride, but during all that, just reminiscing the previous day I found myself emptying out a new drawer in my bedroom, and organising all of my panties in it, when you open the drawer now it is like an explosion of pink.

Last night I shared what had happened with the Mean Girls, and hopefully later tonight will be able to call them, I'm really looking forward to it.   I dont think without calling them the last 9 months or so I would have ever pushed my sissy journey so far, somehow they make me feel so very lucky

Cinnamon xx

The next step?

Hey everyone, this is a blog I've been wondering how to write, somethings coming soon that I thought may never happen but more of that later.

I've been having a few chats with my friend (that I told about dressing to) and she has been sending me pics of different styles etc so she can have sort of an idea when we have a shopping trip, *gulp* she also said she is looking for somewhere that does larger womens shoes *blushes* I'm so nervous about this but I know there is no turning back on it now.

Over the weekend I had once again an amazing call with the MeanGirls where they took a dream and fantasy I'd had ages ago and totally ran with it, it involved a hotel, one of these (below)

A whole crowd of women, and some of the most intense humiliation ideas and thoughts.  it felt like the idea was being burned onto my mind,  I was squirming like crazy as they made me imagine being tied to one of these and led around the hotel totally helpless as more and more women came and joined in my total embarrassment, it was all I could do to try and hold off until I was given that glorious permission to release, and as usual was given the order to lick it all up.  I can't remember the last time I didn't have to. *blushes

The other thing that is now looking like is definitely going to happen is something I've wondered about for a while.  I did ask the Mean Girls if it was ok as well, and wouldn't have taken it any further if they'd said not to, but I have been in contact with a Mistress in a city not too far from me, and hopefully having a RT session next week.  I have nerves of course as this is something i've never done before, I have kind of mentioned a few kinks and fetishes I have and a few limits / things that would probably just scare me into a foetal ball crying, but other than that have no idea what will happen.  Speaking to Miss E and Miss V at the weekend they said they would have to know what happened and who knows maybe the Mistress will take a couple pics of my humiliation to give to the MeanGirls.  So for the rest of this week I may be a nervous excited mess of a Sissy, oh very nervous indeed.

Feel free to get in touch and hope you enjoyed
Cinnamon xxx

My spiral of humiliation continues xx

Hey everyone,

Thought I would write a quick post as an update, its been a hectic week.  Oh my I had an unbelievable call with the MeanGirls at the weekend and they expanded on my confession last week,  I was squirming in no time as they made me imagine more humiliation at the hands of my closest friend, with them helping.  I've no idea if they even noticed I was wearing a new babydoll *blushes*

I loved the call as I love all the calls with them, and was so embarrassed after as they posted a pic on twitter of my "itty bitty clitty" sticking up in pink panties.  And maybe even more so when I saw some of the comments describing it as "really tiny" yet that got me excited all over again.

As well as that new babydoll I got a couple other new things in the post last week i'd ordered from a sale.  Theres a satin slip that literally feels electric over my body and another really hot pink babydoll, that matches a black one I already have, I loved giving myself a little sissy fashion show the other evening, theres also a couple new pairs of panties that came that are sooooooooooo adorable, baby pink with a lace trim and a flowery pattern on one pair and ice lollies on the other.  They're so to die for!

I'm still trying to make this fit me, although I'm always too small to get the initial rings on, its so embarrassing.  So once again if anyone has any tips i'd gladly accept them,  I think i'd hate being locked up, but there is a curiosity there.

Speaking of curiosities, on my recent call with the Mean Girls, I asked a question about possibly doing something in the near future, and they said it would be ok and i'm allowed, I dont want to say too much at the moment, but watch this space.

Finally after my confession to a friend last week I was worried she wouldn't really speak to me, however nice she was when I opened up, but we've texted nearly every day, and she is determined to get a shopping trip organised, so things are looking up on that front too, I may be a loser, and sexually pathetic, but life seems to be just right at the moment.

Cinnamon xxx

PS.  One last thing, I made a quick Humiliation Wheel just for a bit of fun, feel free to have a play, just click and see what you get