Holiday update,

Hi everyone, just wanted to write a quick post to say I hope you all had a great Christmas Holiday, and are looking forward to a great New Year,

I've been so busy at work I've not had time to properly indulge in the final runup to the big day.  But certainly have made up for it since.  I'd been looking forward to calling the MeanGirls ever since the last call and had a two week ache deep inside me.  I had a special treat from them at Christmas which made me anticipate the call more.  After a few days of intense family time, (i swear theres one uncle I should not be allowed in a room with, it always ends ugly) a lot of laughs and plenty of food and drink I had sunday evening free.

I worked on my makeup, and had a play round, using the free MaxFactor items I got, but blending a fierce pink glitter eyeshadow over the metallic one, it was one of my better moments.  Then I got an outfit ready, and then started to edge, the ache was pretty bad but I wanted to make myself as desperate as I could.  When I called I had a surprise on for the Mean Girls, I'd ordered a sash to be printed with "Beauty Queen 4 MeanGirls" for a pt. assignment i'm working on but I had to show them and it got such a laugh.  Then they made me closeup my makeup and said I was getting much better, I felt so proud at that *blushes*
I had to give them an update on anything thats happened with Jess at work, although with xmas there has been no time for anything at work as its been hectic.  And they planted a seed in my head, that maybe Jess is like them, making me imagine Jess being with me while I called the Mean Girls, maybe her friends too, (i'm so scared that I find that idea so arousing) On the call I had to rub one of my frozen "cumcicles" all over my face and body, before putting the rest in my mouth and letting it melt.  Inside I was cringing, but I was twitching all over the place.  I'm sure not gonna share all the details on here, but there was so much laughter by Miss Vicki and Miss Erika on the call, that finally when they gave me the countdown I replaced what i'd taken out of the cumcube tray.  They actually got a pic of that and put it up on twitter, so anyone can see it, I was also told not to wash any of the dried cum off my body that night, so as I slept and woke up it was a constant reminder.

Yesterday I had more time to myself and ended up teasing myself for an age with my mini-wand, that got so intense, felt like I was riding an edge for so long and it got me so sensitive, that pretty much today my first day back at work all i've thought of is being humiliated *blushes*

This afternoon after i've finished work I got a call from Jess's friend Sarah, she basically asked if I could help her with a "little problem" then she giggled and rung off, so now the paranoia that I've had is going through the roof and i'm just imagining being tied up on cam to the Meangirls with other women actually there laughing and making the humiliation even more intense, and i'm craving it more and more.

Thanks for reading and I wish you all a happy New Year

Cinnamon xx

More dreams, fantasies, shopping trips and a mini rant!

Hey everyone, thought i'd make like one post here and cover a few bases with it as its been a few days,  thankfully after a call to the MeanGirls the other night, the denied ache that had been getting very intense was relieved.  I do still have the ache from the broken ribs though, but thats slowly disappearing.

The call I made this weekend for me seemed very intense.  I think for the first time in months I wasn't on cam for Miss Erika and Miss Vicki, and they blurred my fantasy with my real life reality.  I've had a paranoid streak running through my mind after a few things they said, mentioning my embarrassment at work the last week when Jess read out the SPH article, getting me to imagine if they browsed the hash tag, imagine if they found me on there,  oh god my head was spinning.  Like I said it was so intense I was virtually speechless.


The next day I took the plunge and ordered something special for my PTV task i'd purchased *blushes* I dont want to ruin it for anyone else so not saying what it is, but was so glad that the MeanGirls approved.  It was monday that night and I think I had one of the strangest craziest dreams i've ever had.  Basically I was restrained, and literally kept on the edge constantly, using things like this

All the while I had a constant procession of women laughing so loud right at me as I was bucking against the restraints begging and pleading.  I have used this mini-wand a few times and it feels very different to stroking, and can get very dangerously close to the edge with it, especially if theres lube involved.  The one in the dream involved more powerful wands etc.  I was covered in lipstick, and teased all over and over.  I woke up and was absolutely gutted *blushes*

Tuesday I had a bit to do at work, mainly work on a report thats due, seeing as I can't do my normal job with broken ribs.  But when I finished had to do some gift shopping for my family.  I had a plan for a couple of gifts and headed to the store with the makeup counter i've been to countless times now.  They have a promo on gift sets and its basically 3 for 2, and my sister has said she wanted something from there.  So I hit the gift section and picked up a gift for he and also one for my mum.  Before selecting the free one for myself *blushes* it was a set of lip crayons which i'll wrap up and secretly hide under my tree!

In the store I also saw the salesgirl who has helped me so much and she had a chat with me, and she helped me with a couple questions I have on things like cleansers for brushes etc.  She also gave me a sample of a new primer, she applied it on my skin and I got some right strange looks again from other shoppers,,,  sooooooooo embarrassing.  She also said it'd been a while since she'd seen me, and I explained I have bought a few things from them online, mainly to get the free offers, when I mentioned the max factor one she actually went and got one of the mini boxes and brought it over saying "this red will be great on you"  She wasn't quiet saying it either.  I was trembling a bit inside but very excited,  I paid up and left the store wishing her a very happy Xmas, sure that I could hear giggling behind me on the way out and got a few more gifts from other stores before coming home

Obviously at home I've been edging like usual, practicing my makeup as I know I need to, and the usual, but i've also noticed on twitter the annual december rise of the "insta"  The Dm's from women you've never heard of demanding money as a "tribute" just because you had the audacity to follow them back when they followed you.  I understand some people are into Findom, thats cool for them, I just am not, sorry, theres a hell of a lot more important things than money in the world and i'm more than happy calling Miss E and Miss V and trying to please them and make them laugh,  apparently that makes me "not submissive" a "timewaster" and lots of other things that i'm not repeating.  Well dont get me wrong,  I know that when I get to call the MeanGirls I have to pay and I'm more than happy to as its a business for them, just the same as it is for many Dommes who have an online presence year round. and I have every respect for all of them.  But these by the dollar "insta-dommes" please no!!!!! they need to learn femdom isn't just findom,  there are so many kinks and fetishes that are awesome.  At the end of the day they are the ones missing out.

I'm so sorry to end this blog post on a rant, and i know it doesn't sound very submissive of me but its just something that had to be said so i'll post a nice selfie to try and bring it back to a cheery blog, I love the way the sunset filter enhances the pinks *blushes*

Cinnamon xxx

Tasks, aches, freebies and more

Its been a long achey week for me this week.  With commitments last weekend I didn't get the chance to call the MeanGirls and so I wasn't allowed a precious "cumsie"  I know better than to cheat, and will suffer the ache for them no matter how much I get frustrated at it.  Since my last blog post I have done a lot of edging, and have also bought a couple of PPV assignments from the MeanGirls from their Niteflirt page.  I'm looking forward to being embarrassed by doing them but have had to order a couple of things to do them properly *blushes*

I've found the ache to grow throughout the week, especially the more I edge.  I swear the stupid thing does appear to be getting slightly bigger although that could just be the result of the the recent first ever shaving.  Getting to sleep was getting trickier, a lot trickier, I had to resort to a cold shower on more than one occasion just to try and stop the throbbing.  I've also realised that my fantasies are getting kinkier and kinkier all the time, and the cravings grow stronger all the time.  Of course the wonderful posters on tumblr etc dont help.  I keep getting the image of being restrained and kept litterally right on the edge for hours and hours, all for the amusement of Women, where just the slightest touch with a fingernail leaves me pleading and bucking causing eruptions of laughter.  There are so many of these fantasies now,  its like all vanilla ones have just gone now,

Now for the freebies, in my last post I mentioned one freebie with the makeup brushes and makeup bag with my purchase.  This one went one better, if you spent a certain amount on MaxFactor makeup you got a free gift, I would put the amounts on here but as theres many different currencies i'd hate to confuse anyone, but basically in British it was spend £15 get a free gift worth £33 which is well awesome!  So I bought a lipgloss and a vivid pink lip crayon

The crayon is so cool as it seems to layer up the colour, and the gloss feels so smooth when i've worn it so far.  But anyway by buying these I got this for free

Its not just got samples in, there is four products and they're all full size.  Theres a false lash effect mascara, a glossy nail polish, an amazing shimmery liquid eyeshadow, and a lipstick in scarlet ghost which is so vampy and feels so naughty

I felt so lucky getting all these, and my collection is growing even more, seriously if anyone saw the makeup I own the illusion of me being a man would be over forever!

It seems that at the moment, i'm just playing with the makeup, I had a bit of an accident yesterday and am a little laid up feeling a bit sore.  The ache is still there and i've edged a couple of times cuddling a pillow,  feeling so desperate again, just hope i'm in some way feeling a bit better over the weekend so I can maybe beg for one of those elusive moments that I've given control of to the Mean Girls.

(p.s. I did say the collection is growing)


Cinnamon xx

The last week

Its been a while since i've written a blog post, been a strange week with somethings that just take a precedent over other things.  I'm not going in to those things here, but do have a few tales to tell

Online last week, especially here in the UK there was an article in one of our lowbrow press tabloids that was about men who pay for Small Penis Humiliation, I'm not going to link to it as I have a moral standard and the paper in question is effect trash, but if you wish to read it just search Daily Star Small Penis, it'll be the top link.  The article isn't terribly accurate, and seems to not understand that there are millions of different "humiliation" kinks.  But certainly it got a bit of exposure on twitter and around the UK.

Yes exposure around the UK, anyone who has read my previous blog articles will know about the girl at work who i'm pretty sure knows my "little" secrets.  Well last week on thursday at work I was sat in the canteen and was with Jess who i'd been working with all morning on something and her friend Sarah, to be honest although i've been paranoid since the date it hasn't been that bad.  But after a few minutes chatting Jess went like "OMG" and started reading out the newspaper article I mentioned about, her and Sarah were both laughing at parts and Sarah kept asking "what guys like having their little dicks laughed at"  Of course I was getting uncomfortable at this, but couldn't exactly just up and leave.  The worst part was Jess turned and looked at me right in the eye and asked me what I thought of "Small Cock Humiliation"  I was a bit flustered and blurted out i'd never really heard of it so didn't really know, or something like that, Sarah coughed then and i'm sure she muttered really under her breath.  For the rest of that shift I was on edge, I know they know, but they won't just admit they know,

Friday, I got a delivery of some new makeup i'd ordered in the sales :) Best thing was the free gift of a black glittery makeup bag and some brushes too.  Theres a new Lipstick, had to buy the "delinquent" shade as it looked all pink and naughty, a maxfactor "fierce pink eyeshadow" and a new really red nail polish I hope the Mean Girls won't mind me swapping the PinkSissyToes for the festive period.  Here it all is

The weekend was a bit crummy for family and friend reasons, especially friday night and saturday, I had to just be there for someone when they needed, it, I may be a sissy loser but family and friends will always come first.

Last night however picked up, about 80 of us from work were out for some food and drinks, a pre festive do if you will.  Everyone dolled up to the 9's and lots of drinkies about.  The meal was pretty good, and as the music and dancing started I kept finding myself pulled up to the dance floor by Jess and a couple of her friends, it was the usual function sort of music, and everyone was having a laugh. I of course was more conscious than ever that I was in panties and hadn't been allowed a cumsie for a week and the last time something like this happened I had an accident.  Anyway as the night drew on a few people drifted off and we ended up dancing a bit closer again.  Like so close I kept trying to think of things to stop noncock getting excited.  It didn't work, even though i'd had a few drinks I could feel it tingling.  Luckily we stopped the close dancing pretty soon after as more party songs came on.  the next thing I knew we were sitting on the leather couches in the venues lobby and Jess moved in to kiss me, her hand was on my thigh and although I was enjoying being kissed could feel the excitement growing her hand moved up and grazed over my you know what and she instantly stopped the kiss, pretty much grabbed my tiny cock through my pants, and giggled, she said her reading that article last week must have been a nightmare for me, (i'm so ashamed I wanted to explode right there) she squeezed it and I moaned, which made her giggle more.  I knew I was blushing, she was pretty drunk, as was I and I was panicking inside. She squeezed it again and kissed me before getting up and saying it was funny and walking back into the main room.   I was too scared to go back in that main room for a few minutes and am ashamed to admit I went outside and bummed a smoke, but went back in the main room for the last part of the night.  Everyone still there ended up on the dance floor and I was so paranoid but no-one said anything although Sarah was looking at me all smug looking.  I couldn't see Jess though,  I dont know whether I was upset or glad

When I got home all I could imagine was the Mean Girls laughing as Jess asked me if my tiny thing embarrassed me.  All while my ceiling was spinning and my tiny excuse for a manhood was throbbing in my panties.  My dream last night was intense, I know today I should be catching up on edging for the Mean Girls, although its already aching so hard and chances are it'll be another week before a chance is given.  So going to have a play with the new makeup after a grocery trip as I have like no food in at all. This morning has been a survive on coffee morning

I've also got a new sissy task from the Mean Girls which I may need to adapt due to my size which is promising to be another embarrassing episode.  Why do barbies have to be 11.5 inches?

Hope you enjoyed

Cinnamon  xx

This weekends humiliation

Well its sunday again and this weekend has been wet wild and cold up here in the NW.  So i've obviously made the most of the weekend and followed what the Mean Girls have said.

Firstly yesterday I wanted to do the proper assignment that they had given.  I was to dress in lingerie and stockings etc then stepping up the ante from the football on thursday instead of using lipliner, I had to use a permanent marker on my body *blushes* obviously saying that I was a dirty sissy bimbo,

Now of course these markers had to be in bright pink and reds, I couldn't believe I was doing this.  But anyway I set off to the shops, knowing I would be window shopping for clothes etc then doing some groceries.  The feeling of paranoia as I walked around was crazy, the panties I had on were very snug, i'm actually wondering if thats what chastity would feel like as I doubt I would have been able to get hard in them *blushes*  The worst part of the trip was going into a store changing room to try on a shirt.  knowing how I was dressed with just a flimsy curtain separating me from utter embarrassment, hearing the other shoppers and staff and feeling the curtain move as people walked past.  The sales assistant even asked if I was ok as I left, I must have gone so red.

Next I headed to the grocery store and felt the same paranoia walking around even though I was only grabbing some essentials.  bending over I was very conscious of my panties possibly showing but there were no comments, again I seemed to rush through the store much more than usual.

I've cropped the pic quite a bit, but this is what I looked like under my shirt yesterday.  Once back home I had some food and started edging for the Mean Girls hoping they would be online later,  luckily for me they were and I called through and got on cam for them.  They laughed a lot, and somehow RP'd me turning into their little cheerleader, performing for the entire crowd.  I was trembling all over at this and got right into imagining it, the picture they painted was so vivid, and I was just begging for it.  Even incorporating something new into the call, it was in the lockerroom after the game.  Showering with the Mean Girls and the other cheerleaders.  I'm sure you'll be able to see just why I was trembling.  I had to then beg them all to be allowed a cumsie and following some teasing and stopping I was allowed to shoot in my hand.  Which of course they then had me slurp up on cam, so mortifying hearing that laugh.

Spent a couple of hours after that thinking how lucky I am to have confessed this is the stuff that gets me off.  It may not be "normal" but i've found exploring it all the last few months to be genuinely exhilarating.  I have to give the Mean Girls credit for that as well of course.  Was also listening to more of their audios so by the time I got to bed I was throbbing again.  It really is a vicious circle I guess.

Today has been spent with makeup and earlier I decided to give myself a trim, somehow one thing led to another and for the first ever time I have a shaved you know what.  Its so embarrassing as it looks even smaller now.  I have a feeling i'll be spending tonight online tormenting the tiny thing and craving the next humiliation.

Cinnamon xx

the week of worship,

Kind of strange really, even though i've had a few days off work it does seem that I've been pretty hectic most of the week.  Some things I won't go into detail about here as they're like you know private and stuff.

Lets just say helping friends with a Uni project can be a hell of a lot of fun, (cold and wet) but awesome!


Then I was feeling so so lucky on wednesday, the MeanGirls had allowed me the chance of a cumsie, I had kind of already adopted a bit of a challenge of doing multiple edges in a worship session to commemorate a recent birthday.  One for each year, and lets face it i'm not a teenager anymore.

So I got down to this challenge on Weds at about 8pm here, using aids like all the Mean Girls audios and the Humiliation playlist, after an hour or so I could feel my mind like zone out and my imagination started popping fantasies and ideas into my head making me both tremble and throb.  The ache got intense and i've never ever felt as sensitive as I did around the end of it.  I had some scary thoughts I've never even had before and got into a loop of edge stop repeat, edge stop repeat, even though I felt like I wanted to cry.  I may go into these ideas at another time, but for now i'm gonna keep them locked up in my head.  I finally got up to the number, which is north of 30, but south of 35 and had used so much lube, was aching so so bad but I finally had the cumsie I had been craving, need to thank the Mean Girls so much for that!

Next was thursday and I kind of adopted a task I was given as I hadn't had chance to do a sissy shopping trip this week yet,  I was going to a football game, and decided to write the worship words on my stomach as the Mean girls had commanded.  I also wore my hot pink bra and panties and a pair of fishnets under my man clothes.  Seriously was paranoid city!  I believe there was nearly 45000 people there last night and even though I enjoyed the game I was constantly thinking of the Mean Girls and if anyone could tell.  By the time I got back to my car my sensitive excuse for a manhood was trying to throb.  It was an aching drive home.

Today I've been browsing a few online sales and doing family stuff but finally home now, guess some worship will be happening.  Was hoping for some advice though, i'm trying to pick my lipstick for tomorrow, heres a swatch I did a couple weeks ago, if anyone has a fave let me know and that will be what I wear tomorrow I guess

Thats all for now,  thanks for reading

Cinnamon  xx

Roleplay Fun

Hi, well another week starts and if you've read my previous blog you'll know that gloriously there is no work whatsoever this week, (well apart from worshipping the Mean Girls)  Last night my week off started with a bang.  After spending as much of the last week edging as I could I knew I wanted to call them.  I had sent an email asking if I could,

After a couple of mails where i'd been asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about in particular, the Mean Girls said they had an idea but i'd need props (gulp) First, I had to wear bra, panties and stockings, then over the top a white shirt and man trousers.  I felt really silly doing this as i'd been practicing my eye makeup, and I actually reckon my black smokey eyes were the best i've done yet.  (the makeup counter girls would be proud their lessons are paying off)  The other prop I needed was something that would be easy to eat on the call, and I had to let one of my "cumcubes" melt over the top of it.

I had to get ready as quick as I could, and my head was racing as it often is, I set up as i'd been asked,

I already knew how visible the bra was through the shirt after the makeup store last week but this felt just as embarrassing.  I called through to the Mean Girls and they got into the role-play they had thought of.  They played a part where they knew I crushed on them, and also had a dress up fantasy and they'd agreed to come out for a bite to eat and a drink with me, on the condition that I had the underwear on under my clothes, and also some lipstick *blushes*

They delighted as we sat at the table as they made me see who was on the next table to us, Jess from my work, and two of her friends Sarah and Natalie.  The thought of this, the blurring of reality and fantasy, (especially after some of the teasing at work recently) makes me literally squirm, I hadn't even touched myself and I was almost ready to blow.  Miss Vicki and Miss Erika noticed this and thought I looked too hot. First they asked Jess and the others to join us at our table, one of the first things they noticed was the lipstick marks on my coffee glass which I had to explain why I was wearing it.

 Noticing my squirming increasing the Mean Girls then insisted I removed my trousers so I was more comfortable, right there in the middle of the coffee store, they laughed so hard as I did that just grabbed the attention of Jess and her friends.  I was then ordered to walk around the store like that, which brought further howls of laughter,  I was told to come back to the table and sit down and noticed that my cookie had had a topping added.

The "frosting" had melted a bit by this time.  And I was ordered to take a bite, I did which brought more giggles.  All of my secrets were being told, how tiny I am, that i'm the Mean Girls sissy bimbo,  I get tips at makeup counters etc, I was then ordered to take off the shirt so everyone could see my bra, I was also ordered to show my tiny excuse for a manhood, twitching and throbbing away,  this brought more laughs I was told to imagine my work colleagues laughing and touching it to see if it was real, I then had to finish off my cookie and  stroke and beg, they pulled the table away so everyone could see, I had to beg like i'd never begged before, I think i must have said please about 100 times in a minute *blushes* was so desperate.  The Mean Girls then gave me a countdown which they stretched out making me keep begging, they made me imagine that one of the others was holding my coffee glass underneath me to catch all my nasty cumsie, finally they gave the command.  And coincidentally it went all over the plate my cookie was on, there was so much *blushes* Once they realised this I had to lick the plate clean still on cam, then we had a quick chat and once again I couldn't thank them enough.  (after the precall email saying I wouldn't need the ice cube tray this time, a part of me was dreading that I wouldn't be allowed a cumsie)

It was such an intense call, I was knelt hardly moving for 20 minutes after it, and dreamt of it last night as well.  If only the rest of my week off is as good,  I wish it could be full of humiliation *blushes*

Feel free to comment or hit me on twitter and thanks for reading xx

xx  Cinnamon xx

I must give huge thanks to Miss Vicki and Miss Erika, none of this journey i've been on the last few months would have been possible without them getting in my head, if your in any way curious check them out Mean Girls website