My crazy last few days

Hi everyone, must apologise as i've no idea how this post will end up coming across, normally I post after speaking to the MeanGirls but unfortunately due to family commitments was unable to this weekend.  So i'm left with the horrible ache and have a lovely growing little ball of anticipation inside me, getting ever more eager for when I get to call them.

I've also hit the mountain bike trails for the first time this year, and only had one fall with no real damage, so maybe things are looking up :)

Last week I was asked by a new follower on twitter that had read my blog whether I possible answer a few questions on her blog, basically about me and my kinks etc, I gave them some thought and answered them as honestly as I could.  And yesterday the post was published by @DinnerCocktales on her blog, a links here if you'd like to see, i'm really interested to read some of her further "guest" posts, and would like to say thanks for the opportunity to take part

I guess finally for today I have to mention something that happened yesterday, in my normal vanilla life I suppose I try to keep an illusion of normality up with people, although I do seem to be perenially single.  Theres a couple of close friends who've been trying to push me into going to things  like speed dating, online dating, but I always found excuses etc as I know what happens when I get close enough to someone.  Anyways I was with pretty much my oldest friend yesterday who basically said she wasn't leaving till I told her, and I cried, I cried a lot, but there are things I told her i've never considered telling anyone in real life before, I didn't go into all details especially not the humiliation side of things, and I can't go into details fully here yet as it feels very raw. But she did something i'd never expect and has left me feeling quite excited about a few things (shopping and help with sizes, makeup etc), after she left I had a lot of happy tears, and even now feel very emotional.  It really feels like a weights been lifted off me that maybe i've been carrying around for way too long.  I know now I need  to bear this ache till the weekend and hope that this tingling feeling I've been having sticks around, and that I get to speak to the MeanGirls and they let me make a you know what!

Cinnamon xxx

A tale of Lipstick, illness and dreams becoming reality

Hey everybody,  its been a while.  Sorry about that, but i've not been 100% recently.  But hopefully i'm back now.

Last time I wrote I mentioned the sale on lipsticks from one of my favorite companies,  and well they arrived, some of you may have seen the pics I put on twitter but oh my god I love them, so pigmented, so bright, they are just perfect.

The brand name is changing apparently which is why they were so cheap,  i'm not complaining, they were a bargain.  I even figured out that I now own enough lipsticks to wear a different one every day and still go over a month before doubling up, *blushes* I did a swatch of the new ones and the older ones of the same brand I'd already bought

You can see the pigmentation and brightness of them, they really are my favourites now!

Anyways i've obviously been edging for and worshipping the MeanGirls as much as I could over the last couple weeks since I last called them.  I was hoping I would get to speak to them this weekend just gone as with the illness I had i'd missed out last weekend as I wasn't up to it.  Even this week I'm not 100% and apologised that I wasn't right to go on cam for them.  But had possibly the most intense call i've ever had with them.  I knew it was Easter so knew I would be lucky if they would be available but I was still awake when I got the message that they would be logging on to NiteFlirt.  All thoughts of going to bed disappeared and I quickly got ready and called.

Miss Erika and Miss Vicki quickly led the call into living out a dream I had recently, they'd seen it on here, and they roleplayed through the SissyCarrie dream I had, embellishing it, and adding bits where they wanted too, I felt humiliated, emasculated, embarrassed and oh so incredibly aroused. Being led in the dark through the call just drew me into the fantasy deeper and deeper, until I could vividly imagine being on that stage begging a baying crowd of laughing women to be allowed a cumsie, not caring that it was being photoed filmed and witnessed by every hot girl in town, covered in lingerie, makeup and blushing bright red.  I'm not lying when I say that at the end of that call I was shaking and trembling.  I loved it *blushes* And dreamt of it through the night.  So intense and amazing, I can't thank the MeanGirls enough for taking my dream and turning it into such an erotic experience for me.

Today i'm off work at home, and decided to try give this cage another go,

However I really do appear to be too small to get the thing to fit, you know the idea of chastity scares the living hell out of me but I keep trying, genuinely if anyone has got any ideas or tips for very small guys I would really appreciate them,

So as thats not appearing to be working so far, I guess I should indulge in the humiliation playlist and some MeanGirls audios and start the cycle of edging all over again.

Thanks for reading again, and feel free to get in touch

Cinnamon xx

Torment, Humiliation, Punishment and Pleasure

Well hello again everyone, I have to write a blog about the last week or so,

Anyone who has read some of my previous entries will probably know all about a girl at my work called Jess, there has been some teasing and flirting and well after the works Christmas do when she was drunk, i'm pretty certain she knows that I am not exactly well endowed "down there"

Well anyway she finished at my work last week, she is moving across the country for at least a year, so a group of us thought we should maybe go grab a drink, a bite to eat etc as like a send off for her.   There wasn't many of us, about 6 and the afternoon was going great until everyone left apart from me and Jess. We were sat in a booth in a corner of the bar and she was being her usual self, which was quite cool as we haven't really spoke much the last few weeks with audits etc at work its been hectic. Anyways after a while she put her arm around me and kissed my cheek, before properly kissing me again.  As it did last time it felt amazing and she kind of swung her legs over mine so she was in effect sat on my knee.  Then the worst thing possible happened,  (please bear in mind I'd been allowed no cumsies for over two and a half weeks) as we kissed I could feel my tiny thing start to throb and then without notice it actually blew *blushes*  You have no idea how glad I was that she had no hands in the area, I literally did not know what to do, whilst instantly thinking of the MeanGirls.  I must have somehow pulled back involuntary but the kiss didn't go on much longer, from then till we left I tried to stay sat down and felt utterly mortified and humiliated, when we left I could see a small mark on my trousers and horribly a little drying trickle down my thigh.

It was the panties from this set I had on, and when I got home I had to try and wash them straight away.  I also knew I had to confess to the MeanGirls so sent them an email and also a Gift Certificate to apologise, I know they control my cumsies.  I was panicking and was dreading it as I had let them down, It was a day or so before I heard back so I was a wreck, but they said I was sweet to confess, but that they expected to watch a punishment on cam over the weekend.

So it got to sunday and pretty much all day I was edging for them and making myself ache as much as I could and it got to that glorious time.  I called and as soon as I heard their voices I could feel myself weaken, it had been ages but I was once again under their spell.  There was so much humiliation as they made me describe in detail what had happened,  and then I had to give a spoken apology to go along with my written one and their laughs at this made me tremble, before the punishment.  I had to spank myself with the paddle thats at the top right of this pic as the MeanGirls counted along

I've never really been much of a pain lover although I know I deserved at least this, I've also been told if I ever have an accident like this again I have to lick the panties clean.  I was then allowed to make a cumsie into another pair of panties and you guessed it I had to lick them clean as their laughs totally ripped me apart into a whole new level of embarrassment.  I already can't wait till my next call with them but really hope I never let them down again as they've told me the punishment will be worse next time.  They also said it would be fun for me to call tied up with a woman with me, so they could tell all my secrets and this is a thought thats been in my head all day, i've no idea if its at all possible, they mentioned Jess but I know she'll be miles away now, If theres any local women feel free to give me a shout *blushes*

Then today I gets an email after a lovely walk in the sun, from a company I bought lots of lipsticks from a couple months ago, they have a sale on so I've had to treat myself, they're high quality and totally gorgeous I just couldn't resist, their link page is saturated colour have a look for the KiSSsticks, they are amazing

Its not these shades but the same brand as these, so i'm now all excited, a sissy can never have enough lipsticks!  I'm still on a high after yesterday and so glad that the Mean Girls accepted my apology

I know today is Steak and BJ day, well for real men it is, for us loser sissys its a day to spend in pink

thanks for reading and hope you've enjoyed, feel free to get in touch

Cinnamon xxx

Dreams Denial and missing the MeanGirls

Well hi everyone, sorry its been a while since I last posted, with work and all sorts its been one of those busy periods, the worst thing at the moment is the ache.  Its been a while since I spoke to the MeanGirls and I find that I miss them more each and every day.

Now in my normal life i've always had a tendency to fall asleep watching a movie, and lately it seems to have been old horror movies that have taken my fancy.  Its funny how the imagery can really affect your dreams, even if it adapts them into something different, I thought i'd share a recent one here.

I'd fallen asleep to Carrie, (the original, not the remake) and honestly can't remember which point I dozed off although they were still setting up the gym for the prom.  Yet for the next few nights I had a vivid dream adapting the movie into well a sissies dream I guess.
  I was basically playing myself, pretty much a geek and a loser, who somehow found myself invited to the prom by one of the most gorgeous girls in the entire city, let alone school.  All the week before I found myself being talked to more and more by people who would never normally give me the time of day.  I spent ages getting ready, and as I was leaving my house, even my older quite often catty sister said that I looked completely different and normal.

  I met the girl and we went into the prom and got a drink, people were being soon friendly, I was so happy we had a little dance, I was even invited outside to share a joint, I was feeling so mellow and then we were all called into the hall again and the host of the evening was there to announce the king and queen of the prom, apparently everyone had voted although I didn't recall ever seeing a slip etc.  But anyway we were stood together and my date whispered, "imagine if its us" I literally couldn't believe it when it was our names called, the whole place erupted with cheers and I felt like I was swept up to the stage and escorted to the position next to the podium, my date stepped up to the podium to speak and all I could see were the eyes, all looking at us, for the first time in my life was I actually popular?  I couldnt even hear what my date was saying until she said the word surprise.  At that I heard a voice at the back of the hall yell now, then a murmuring of laughter started, I heard a creaking about me and looked up.  It was only then I noticed the huge container tipping over and all of a sudden hundreds of pairs of panties, stockings, other lingerie etc started to fall all over me.  I panicked so hard I was rooted on the spot and my fear rose to a fever pitch when my dates best friend came up on stage laughing,  picked a pair of the frilliest panties up and rubbed them on my crotch, hearing her grab the microphone and announce to the entire laughing hall that "this must excite the little loser, theres a teeny tiny bump there" made the tears start, I still couldn't move though, and unlike the actual movie I had no telekinetic powers whatsoever, and my humiliation had only just begun.  There was plenty more to the dream, but I think i'll keep that private for now, as the MeanGirls have said we maybe can adapt this as a call *blushes*

I must have had variations on this dream maybe 5/6 times in the last week and a half now,  and with not being allowed a cumsie for ages the ache is off the hook, I literally cuddled a pillow earlier and found myself at an edge, I think i'd even beg to make a cumcookie if I could

Well I hope it won't be as long till my next post on here,  and hopefully not long till I get to chat to the MeanGirls, but i'll keep aching, and practicing my makeup for them, and hope my imagination keeps running wild, feel free to chat on twitter and thanks for reading

Cinnamon xxx

Fear, Fantasy, Comps and that laugh!

Hi everyone, it seems like ages since I last managed to write a blog on here, I did try last week but found myself unable to write what I was thinking down.  But with things that have happened I have hopefully a good post here.

Firstly last week, on the Monday it was apparently #malechastityday according to twitter, now I've never been in or seriously thought about Chastity in the past but I decided to try have a day of no touching, during the day it wasn't too bad. But around teatime, I received some news.

Over the last few weeks a Sex Toy company in the UK has been running a few retweeting competitions on twitter.  I had been retweeting a few, and imagine my reaction when this notification popped up

all of a sudden not touching became very difficult and I just had to cuddle my pink pillow so hard!

The companys website is www.thehouseofpassion.co.uk If anyone wanted to check them out.  For the couple of days after I was excited and also a bit scared, I honestly had no clue what would be in the package.  Anyways towards the end of the week after many edges and arousing dreams I came home from work to find that they had tried to deliver the parcel. So I headed to the depot to sign for and collect it.  (so thankful the packaging was totally discreet)

I also had a guy msging me a lot on twitter asking If I could be dominant to him, I asked advice from a couple of people and firstly made him change his twitter profile as it was not appropriate.  He wants to be a sissy but has no panties so I said he needed some, I also asked him to do another tweeting task, however he just replied "and if I dont" To be honest I dont really think i've got a dom bone in my body, although I know I can have a mean streak while playing pranks etc.  If this male?? doesn't reply its no skin of my back (i'll get to that shortly)

Sorry for that little detour, let me get back to the package I won.  It was full of all sorts of kinky goodies, floggers paddles, cuffs, blindfolds, rope, clamps, literally allsorts.  I had such a big lump in my throat looking through it all

of course I had to let the MeanGirls know about this, and I got an email back from Miss Vicki saying they couldn't wait to see some of it.  I'd also had a message from another Mistress saying the way the MeanGirls are inside my head is a "masterclass in dominance and feminisation" so of course i had to let Miss E and Miss V know that too.  Hearing it made me tingle i'll be honest.

Anyway getting to the end of the week and last night.  I'd planned to call the Goddesses and spent most of the day edging and tormenting myself, it got late in the night UK time and I got through to them.  I think it was a longer than normal call, where I had to show off the items from the package, they seemed to genuinely enjoy me using this on myself

  They were counting along and laughing so hard, they even stopped to ask if I was crying, (I wasn't but it was stinging a lot) Telling me they want pics of all the different colours my bottom turns after this,  Putting a fantasy about being at work and having all the girls do this to me after discovering me in panties, utterly humiliating me, and ensuring that literally Everyone knew  The call is a blur of humiliation I do remember showing them the Cb6000 that was in the prize bundle and I think I somehow volunteered to try it, (well if I can get it to fit my tiny thing anyway) and as has been usual recently I was allowed to beg to make a cumsie on my plate.  Its still flashing through my mind though how I actually begged to clean my plate for them.

We had a small chat after that and when I came off the phone I found they'd put a picture of my cumsie plate on twitter to add to my humiliation *blushes* I do love how the MeanGirls seem to know exactly what I need.  if anyone wants to see that pic its on their Twitter timeline.  Along with many links to their wall of shame further down,  

Anyway today for me is a day to slightly relax, but i've also to try on the Chastity device.  I'm so scared about this but its just trying it on right, what harm can it do?

As always thanks for reading this, feel free to get in touch

Cinnamon xxx

Seemingly endless edging cycle

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Anniversary humiliation call, makeup and some totally unexpected comments!

Hey everyone,

Even though its only been a couple of days since my last post I just had to write another.  As I mentioned last time, this weekend was 6 months to the day I first called the awesome MeanGirls and restarted this humiliation journey i'm on.  I knew I would have to call and had asked earlier in the week if they'd be available.  (thankfully they were)  I'd bought their new audio, and listened over and over to all of their others over the weekend, so I was excited to call.

Being in the UK its always fairly late at night when I get chance to call them.  This time it was later than usual, but I saw them become available and called.  I'd remembered what I had worn the first time, and made sure I had the same outfit on *blushes* I'm sure there is a pic of it on their wall of shame, it was very pink, the panties have a ruffled skirt on them and the cami has a black lace trim.  The outfit was topped off with the baby pink fishnets and my wig and makeup.

The third one from the left is the Osculate Orchid

The third one from the left is what I wore

Miss Erika and Miss Vicki once again complimented my makeup, especially the new "Osculate Orchid" lipstick I had on, this made me blush as when I first called them I was totally useless at it!  We chatted about how things have been at work with Jess and I said i'd been that busy at work literally hadn't spoke at all, only a couple posts on Facebook.  They took this and started that paranoia ride in my head, I was trembling as they asked me what I would do if one of the girls from the makeup store added me on there and left a message asking why i'd not been in a while?  It got intense as I was realising I was maybe just a couple steps away from total exposure.  I think I got very quiet and I think they picked up on that, I was being led to admitting all sorts and they gave me some intriguing ideas for future calls, the humiliation kept coming and It wasn't long before I was begging, and then I was allowed a glorious release all over my saucer, of course they made me lick it all up.  (its only just struck me writing this that every orgasm i've had for 6 months I've had to consume) How embarrassing is that!

After the call we had a bit of a conversation on twitter that to me reiterated just how awesome they are as they said they thought they may have taken it a bit over the edge on the call.  But I assured them although it was a scary thought, I trust them now.  You know what, I really do!


Then yesterday after an awesome dream I was playing on twitter and realised i'd been followed by a lot of people that I hadn't followed back, so I went through the list and pretty much anyone that seemed like a real persons account that didn't just post porn etc I followed back.  I got a message not long after from someone calling me Mistress, thanking me for the follow.  I had to admit obviously i'm not a Mistress, this guy was actually calling me Hot based on my profile pic,

As you can see from the pics here, (I removed his name for dignity etc) I admitted I took it as a compliment, and I'll be really honest part of me tingled deep inside, that someone actually thought I was female.  After the sexy sissy photo competition last week and now this I dont think i've had this many "physical" compliments before, and it certainly feels different from the humiliation, it's feeling very different to me, I still have the cravings to please women, and to hear them laugh, but also for once maybe being called sexy and pretty and hot is cool as well *blushes*

So also yesterday I was playing around with my makeup, making the most of a

stormy day and I posted a couple of pics to twitter of the results after adding a couple of filters and cutting away part of the pics so my whole face isn't on it.  Again some of the comments were so nice to me on there, from both other sissies and also from a couple of Dommes, it made me tingle again, so when I was sent home from work again earlier I couldn't resist having another play, i've come up with one pic I love and hope other people like it as well *blushes* the false lash effect mascara really makes my eyes pop, I hope no-one minds the filters i'm not brave enough to show my whole face otherwise

Anyway sorry this is a long post, thanks for reading, and feel free to catch up with me on twitter

Cinnamon xxx