First thing i'd like to do is apologise that I haven't really blogged for the last month, theres been a couple things in real life that had to be done. Hectic would be describing the last month mildly.
Of course there has still been plenty of time for my mind to keep imagining ever more realistic and humiliating fantasies and situations, and they've been driving the ache wild. Also what is now pretty much ritual listening to the MeanGirls audios and watching the Humiliation Playlist has driven my mind further than I thought possible. And now its been so long since I was last allowed a cumsie I feel pretty much turned on all the time.
I've found that the longer i'm denied the more i'm struggling as I practice my makeup, my concentration just slips at the slightest touch of a brush and I end up getting all wrong. But anyways time for the update. Something happened at the weekend that I could never have imagined happening, some of you may remember a couple months ago, I blogged that i'd confessed to one of my best friends about some of this "secret" side of me. About dressing, about feeling submissive, but keeping some of the humiliation side of it quiet. Well she invited me to hers for the night and said to sleepover, I had no idea what to expect, and was a bit nervous but had no reason to be, (there must be a reason real best friends stay friends for life) We had a couple glasses of wine and a chat, and as the night rolled on the topics kind of altered, there was nothing sexual about it at all, but she lightheartedly teased out some more secrets, for instance she now knows that I dont decide when I have an orgasm, and how my mind feels about that a little bit about the ache that denial brings. We talked about makeup, clothes and allsorts, i'm still trying to get my head around some of the things about clothes and styles she mentioned. Trying to find things online that would fit and maybe suit me. Not lying the night went so fast and before we both went to bed we had what to me was an amazing cuddle, its been so long since anyone genuinely hugged me like that, I really really felt safe.
I was nervous waking up the next day, but needn't have been. She was the same with me as she always was, and before I left was saying we would have to have a day out shopping where she could help me. I was blushing all the way home I tell you.
I drank plenty of coffee when I got home, both reliving the events of the night before, and also anticipating the next few days, when I have my second RT session with Mistress Courtney, and the excitement is building to a fever pitch, I love the thought in my mind that I just dont know what will happen, I think it makes the anticipation greater, I've already been given instruction on one thing I have to wear *blushes* I feel very lucky to be allowed to go back, and i'm sure i'll be telling you all some of what happens afterwards.
I can remember the feeling after the first session and hope that its the same after this one, a feeling where you just float through the rest of the week. Also hope I may get chance to speak to the MeanGirls soon too because their laugh wow, well that would just push this whole week to another level. Anyways thats me for now, so thanks for reading and as always feel free to chat me on twitter