Wednesday, 29 March 2017

An upcoming anniversary

Hi everyone, thought I would try to make a quick post, i'm sorry it probably wont be as fun as my last post but it feels like a bit of a milestone.

I've been writing posts on this blog for nearly 18 months now, and exploring my submissive side slightly longer.  I was happy, making the occasional niteflirt call to the MeanGirls when I could and doing assignments for them.  I'd had a couple of semi public experiences like say at the makeup counter, but it was about this time last year I got a small bonus from my job, and after a lot of thought an idea was forming in my head.  I'd thought about a Real Time session with a dominatrix in the past, but to be honest had been a little scared, or had not been in a position to treat myself financially, so nothing had come of my thoughts.

Anyways, I can remember being on my knees on cam to the MeanGirls one night, pretty much around this time last year, having had a good a call as ever,  and having just a quick chat after, I just asked if they would mind if I looked into having a RT session.   I was thankful they said sure and that it was cool.  Even though its like a year ago I can remember coming off the phone and thinking oh god I will have to look into this now.  I took a good few days before really doing anything although I had looked at a number of websites of Dommes.  I guess in my area up here in the NW we are blessed with a number of Mistresses.  (well within an hour or so's drive)  There were a few who's websites stood out, and one more than any others.  (for a reason i've kept private since then for fear of sounding stupid)

I read the website and read it again.  Before writing an email trying to follow what the website said.  I wrote it and left it in my drafts for a couple of days all nervous, while googling things like "How to initially contact a Mistress" trying to gather some tips.  It was probably about a week later I was comfortable and ready to send the email.  I tried to keep it short, polite, explaining my interests but also that i'd never done anything like this before so I really wasn't sure of my limits etc, and briefly mentioned pretty much the one thing that I really have no interest in exploring.

I can still remember sitting there for a moment after I pressed send, my heart was racing and I thought well its done now.  I wasn't expecting a reply straight away, but hoped that the email I had sent was ok and wouldn't just be dismissed. I also went away wild camping for a couple of days so had no access to any form of internet,  but a few days later when I was back I checked my emails and had a reply.

Ready for my first ever spanking

Yes the Mistress said she would be able to arrange a session around what I had put in my email, while also explaining not all sessions would involve pain, plus there would be a safe word etc.  I felt at ease with the reply and over another couple of emails had a date and time set for my first session.  It was still a couple of weeks ago so my imagination had a lot of fun.  Indeed I think the MeanGirls had fun teasing me about what may happen on a call before the session, while also saying I would have to let them know what happened in detail.  Then finally the day came, I followed the instructions I had been given, (confirming in the morning etc) and I headed off into the unknown.  I can still visualise that first session so clearly, from the Dungeon door opening and meeting Mistress Courtney for the first time.  Being shown into the dungeon and having an introductory chat, (where I did confess the reason I had been drawn to her website) before being left for a moment.  When Mistress re-entered the session started and I was almost under a spell.  From the instant Mistress realised I was in panties *blushes* that little giggle.  I had my first spanking, and my first real experience of real time BDSM play

Since then I've had some more sessions that I will have commented on already on here, and some experiences that I never would have thought possible just a short while ago.  If someone had told me I would have been on nights out dressed totally as Cinnamon I would have probably bet my car against it, but it happened,  helping out as a camera-man (ahem sissy) again I wouldn't have believed it, being used as a "demo" model in front of a hen party of 10 women?  you've guessed it, I may have dreamed it but never thought it possible.   And here I am looking forward to my next session, a year on from the first, with the possibility of something else Mistress has mentioned in the future too.  I've probably never been happier or felt more accepted for this side of me, and i'm sure i'll be back with more updates with more kink in them than this one.

I guess this post has a bit of a subverted meaning to it,  if you have dreams, there is no harm in chasing them.  It doesn't matter if "normal" people would think that they are a bit weird, if everyone was the same life would be so boring.  Take a chance and go for them.  I found out yesterday an old schoolfriend has passed away, its reminded me life is short.  Happiness in yourself is more important than any material riches, and keeping hopes and dreams bottled away is no quick route to the happy places.

I'm gonna wrap this up, hope this post doesn't bore anyone, I just felt I had to write it and as always feel free to chat to me on twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Monday, 20 March 2017

A night at BitchesUnleaSHEd

Hi everyone, its time for another of these blog posts, and I hope this will be quite an exciting one.

  A few months ago i'd heard through twitter that there was going to be a Femdom evening organised by two well known Mistresses in Manchester.  I had asked for some info back then, and then a few weeks ago while I was in London with Mistress Courtney at Subversion the event came up, and I was told that I could go with her.  Tickets were bought, plans were starting to be made and Mistress told me that she had rented a house with Mistress Evilyne and that I could meet their group there to travel to the venue Cirque.

A couple of weeks ago I was told that I would have be pretty much ready when I arrived at the house which set off paranoia in my head and got my nerves up.  I was going to have to leave my home pretty much ready, and last week while I was helping Mistress film she said that my makeup would have to be done ready as well, or at very least the basics.  To me that was a total first, I've never gone out of my house dressed before, (well apart from the lingerie underneath everything etc) I'm not going to lie but it had been on my mind literally all week, I knew I was wearing a new satin dress which i've found impossible to get a decent picture of, but when I tried it it felt electric on my body, and slowly throughout the week I made a plan.

Saturday came and I had to get the boring work rubbish out of the way first before heading home.  I made sure I ate this time, and then started to get myself ready with a shower, shave etc.  Then I started to get dressed, new tights, the dress, I did have a zip up hoodie on, and also a pair of jeans over everything,  if it was just that the journey would have been fine,  but then the makeup.  I started by moisturising then a primer, and my skin matched foundation which didnt look too bad, I then worked on my eyes and was quite happy with them.  Although they never look as good as when others have done them.  I then packed a bag up with the extras. (my bag, heels, wig, makeup etc) and sat waiting for instructions.

Following a message with the address to go to I headed off.  Nervously checking there was no-one outside as I got in my car and programmed the satnav.  Once I got out of my village I actually felt ok for a while as the motorway was quiet and it was going dark.  But the satnav took me into the heart of Manchester down the M602 with all the well lit advertising boards making me very paranoid, especially sat at traffic lights alongside other cars, I was trying to look away from everyone else *blushes*  Anyways I soon found the address and pulled up outside, took a moment to breathe and have a drink of water before getting out and knocking on the door.  When it was opened I thought at first I was in the wrong place as there were two other guys there who I didnt recognise, I asked if I was in the right place but I was thankfully and was told Mistress Courtney was through at the back.  so I took my shoes off and headed through. There were two ladies on a couch who commented on my makeup straight away, I could feel the nerves growing now as I walked through and was greeted by Mistress.  I was then introduced to everyone, including Madam Cruella, Miss Angelica Andrews and Mistress Evilyne, the other guys, and was told to sit and chat.  They were friendly and my nerves at walking into a room of strangers while wearing a dress and makeup soon disappeared.  Mistress went upstairs to get ready before calling me up so I could get ready.  It was at this point where Mistress gave me a collar to put on for the night.  I was feeling very lucky.  And hopefully I looked ok in my outfit.

Back downstairs we ordered taxi's before setting off. As in London a few weeks ago getting into the taxi was nerve-wracking but a few minutes later we were pulling up outside the club. As we got in it seemed very crowded but I instantly felt a little more at ease as there were plenty of people dressed, I even recognised a couple of faces.  We made our way to the bar area and at this point I remember being tickled and giggled at when it made me blush, before being asked if I was Cinnamon, I chatted to the slave while we were at the bar and the Mistresses were chatting It was then time to explore. There was three floors in the club, we then headed down some pretty evil stairs to the lower area that holds the dungeon, an outdoor smoking area and a cloakroom/changing area.  There was bits of play happening all over, and as usual i'm not going to give all the details away but safe to say it looked like all the Mistresses were enjoying themselves.  Throughout the night I met a number of Mistresses i've never met in person before, and when some of them recognised the name Cinnamon I tingled.  There was also a moment when a Mistress commented on my legs, which is something thats never happened before.  Being introduced as one of Mistresses "boys" made me feel so lucky all through the night.
  It was also good to have a brief chat to some people i've met before especially Princess Jessika who I met last year at Sexhibition and Miss Raven who recognised me from the couple of parties I went to at Sinnation,   I really had a good time, and apart from walking up and down the stairs dont think i've ever been as comfortable around others dressed as Cinnamon.  There was one moment that really stuck in my mind though, a Mistress asked me why I was not wearing any of the wristband bracelets, I wasn't sure what to say but Mistress Courtney lent in and said that I was collared, at that I felt my insides shaking.

All in all it was a great night, full of dancing, chatting, watching some play, drinking (well for everyone who wasn't driving) and being around people who just accepted everyone for who there are,  I really enjoyed it, and once we left the club we headed back to the house for a coffee and a chat.  I then asked permission to get changed and I went upstairs to get back into boy mode,  Mistress Courtney asked why i'd taken my makeup off when I came down, that set the blushing off again, I soon had to set off for home, and took the collar off that Mistress had lent me and she whispered we may have to get me a pink one *blushes* that thought has been in my dreams the last couple of nights.  I said my goodbyes and headed home, fighting off sleep and feeling like I was in that floaty space all over again, even though I was shattered I had to just sit a while and think when I got home.

Finally I have to say congratulations to the organisers of Bitches UnleaSHEd Miss Kitty, and Mistress Brown, the night seemed to go really well.  I hope they both enjoyed it as much as the people I spoke to during the night, I hope theres more events like it, and if allowed i'll definitely be going back.

Right this seems to have gone on way too long so i'm gonna wrap it up, but as always feel free to chat, either here or on twitter i'm always there, when I'm not lost in a fantasy of hmmm maybe i'll save that one for next time ;)

Cinnamon xx

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Another fantastic experience and day

Hiya everyone.  I thought it was time to make another post after the exciting day I had yesterday.  I'd received a message from Mistress Courtney last week asking if I could help out being a cameraman erm sissy again.  It was on a day off work for me so of course I said I could.

I think it was last November I had a drive in the wettest conditions i've known down to a dungeon in the Midlands to help film and had no real idea what I was walking into. You can read about it here  This time the weather was nice, the drive was shorter and I had a rough idea of what would happen.  I'm guessing it also means I was ok managing the camera last time!  Since then however I've had a session with Mistress where she mentioned filming maybe with me, and she made a couple of private clips in that session, so there was a part of me slightly apprehensive, especially being told to make sure I was wearing panties.

Anyways I pulled up at the dungeon for the day, and was greeted warmly as ever by Mistress Courtney before the other victims, or should that be winners arrived.  I was in my element setting up the camera stuff as I am a total techy geek sometimes, and the new camera, wow!  Before long we were ready to go, and the filming started.  I'm not going to go into detail of what happened, I'm sure the clips will be on Mistresses clips sites soon.  But there were plenty of erm activities catered for, from caning to electrics to ball kicking with lots more as well.  I guess i'm probably going to talk about my feelings a little more.  I definitely felt more relaxed than last time and had a bit more of an idea how the day would go and what I would see.  I felt a bit more confident joining in the between scenes banter, and accidentally made one of the slaves jump.  Mistress was checking some electrics as he was tied down, saying maybe the batteries are going, I offered to wire it to the mains, hehehe that was a jump and a half and everyone laughed.  Towards the end of the day Mistress said next time maybe I would have to be in some of the clips, and even if I wasn't I would have to be in a dress to film that she may decide on.  I think my reaction showed that the idea excites me.  It was definitely picked up on by Mistress, I was finding as well just like last time I was getting the cravings to be played with myself, however much I was enjoying being behind the camera.

 After we finished filming we all helped to pack up and tidy, before walking Mistress to her car with her equipment.  The other slaves then left and Mistress talked me through the start of the plan for saturday night.  I'm feeling very lucky to be attending this FemDom event Bitches UnleShed, especially to be going in a group with Mistress.  I'm sure it will be another great experience for me, and everyone who is going, I believe its a sellout now.  Best thing was I got home last night and my new dress for the night has arrived and it fits pretty well.  Now all I have to do is worry about driving down to Manchester to meet Mistress in it,  (gulp gulp and treble gulp) but I have my instructions and won't disobey.  I'm not going to post any pics of it yet as I want it to be a surprise.

And as a strange twist of fate, I've been discussing arranging my next session with Mistress too, kind of throwing some dates around when I'm off work etc, Mistress came back with a date that would work, and by a twist of fate its on the one year anniversary of my first ever session with her.  I was like wow, when I realised, and Mistress really enjoyed it when I pointed it out too.  Its a year thats definitely flown by, so much has changed and i'm not looking back.  Hope you enjoy the read and as always feel free to chat to me on here or twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

New outfits, events and an excited me!

Hey, its that time again to dust off my keyboard and make another blog post with a bit of an update.  I guess i'd best get the worst part out of the way first, after last weekends fun at Subversion I had a couple of pretty lousy days.  I think after speaking to some others once again it may have been a bit of subdrop.  I thought it strange as it wasn't like I was in a session or anything like it was last time.  However I guess the experience of the weekends was pretty intense.  I have to say as well, thankyou to the people on twitter who chatted and helped me through it.

I really did have the best antidote for it last week on Monday night too, I spent it as always listening to the kinky radio show on and they had a special guest, the one and only Mistress Courtney who appeared to be a natural, and she won their Mistress Chart too, so I was doubly happy!

Moving on from the subversion weekend, in the last few days I've bought myself a ticket to another event called Bitches Unleashed,  its just a couple hundred miles closer to home, organised by a couple of well known Mistresses at a club in Manchester, where it appears there will be a lot of Mistresses attending, including Mistress Courtney, and others that I have met at Sinnation, whereas Subversion was a fetish club, this is a night devoted to femdom, I am nervously excited for it, although i've once again got the wardrobe dilemma, hmm what to wear.  With an added fear factor that I may have to get ready at home and drive there however I am dressing for the night.  I may look into another option for it lol.  I'm sure there will be a post on this night afterwards, I'm also looking forward to meeting some other people that I have chatted to for a while on twitter.  I'm sure it will be a fantastic night and hopefully all the Mistresses there have a lot of fun at the expense of the submissives attending.

Last week as well I was online and found a "fancy dress" outfit in a sale on a website, I could not resist and had to get it, its very short with a tutu bottom, but it fits like a dream.  The pic i've posted doesn't do the sparkles justice, there were "wings" and a "halo" with the outfit but they feel pretty flimsy to be honest, I kinda just like the dress part.  I'm not sure of the dress code for my next event, but maybe i'll have the confidence to wear this to an event one day.  The reaction it got on twitter was unexpectedly awesome.  I think for a tenner it was a bargain.  Coupled with a wavy wig, makeup and a couple of filters I love the results!!!  If I could look like this all the time I would be sooooooooo happy,

I'm sure the fantasies and cravings i'm having will keep getting stronger, and hopefully will have managed to book another session again too.  As well as maybe something else Mistress has suggested, I was reflecting the other day and genuinely appreciate just how lucky I am.  Anyways i'm gonna wrap this post up and as always feel free to chat, either here or on twitter

Cinnamon xxx