Thursday, 28 April 2016

My first RT session

Hiya, thought it was time I wrote a new blog.  Especially with what happened earlier this week.  I said last time about a potential session with a Mistress, and earlier this week it happened.  I dont think i'm going to share the full details of what happened, more my feelings,

The day started by confirming my attendance later that day, followed by a few hours at home feeling the nerves grow, and they grew.  I was also feeling excited, aroused and had other feelings rushing through my mind, they grew even more on the drive down there.  When I arrived I was given my final instructions and found myself being greeted at the door by Mistress Courtney.  We had a chat first, it kind of helped with the nerves a bit, and was given a safe word system,  I was left for a moment to look around the Dungeon as Mistress got us both some water, then the session started.

I really wasn't sure what to expect, but what happened really exceeded anything I had thought.  Mistress Courtney had an elegant style, and exuded power and control without even raising her voice, I was embarrassed, teased and humiliated throughout, one thing that really stands out was Mistress picking out the smallest dildo, then comparing it to me, and the dildo was still nearly twice the size,  There were a few pics taken for me to send to the MeanGirls here is one of me about to get my first ever spanking.

I'm really so glad I did this, and really enjoyed the session although i'm not going into much detail here, i'm quite scared to admit I genuinely seemed to enjoy being restrained so I had no control, it made the feelings much more intense.  After the session we had another chat with a hot drink.  I honestly can't thank Mistress Courtney enough, and she is truly stunning and made me feel utterly submissive and embarrassed while somehow making me feel safe and putting my nerves at ease as well,  Its probably a cliche, but I left feeling like I was floating.  Part of me wished i'd had the courage to do this years ago.

I had a pretty damn awful drive after that, but just coasted through the traffic feeling all relaxed.  I ended up meeting a friend on the way home and we had a meal together.  She was saying I just looked so relaxed and was glowing.  (this is the friend I confessed about dressing to) and after a bit of  persuading I admitted i'd just been to see a Mistress,  she was fascinated but more about how I found it etc, (I didn't share much of what happened, I really didn't need to) again as with the dressing she was soooo supportive about it.  After that although our chat moved on to "life" stuff I was in a happy haze, and was till I got home, I slept wrapped in satin that night, and had a very humiliating dream,  I pinched myself when I woke up even.

I had a few chores to do the next day and wanted to get out on my bike for a ride, but during all that, just reminiscing the previous day I found myself emptying out a new drawer in my bedroom, and organising all of my panties in it, when you open the drawer now it is like an explosion of pink.

Last night I shared what had happened with the Mean Girls, and hopefully later tonight will be able to call them, I'm really looking forward to it.   I dont think without calling them the last 9 months or so I would have ever pushed my sissy journey so far, somehow they make me feel so very lucky

Cinnamon xx

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

The next step?

Hey everyone, this is a blog I've been wondering how to write, somethings coming soon that I thought may never happen but more of that later.

I've been having a few chats with my friend (that I told about dressing to) and she has been sending me pics of different styles etc so she can have sort of an idea when we have a shopping trip, *gulp* she also said she is looking for somewhere that does larger womens shoes *blushes* I'm so nervous about this but I know there is no turning back on it now.

Over the weekend I had once again an amazing call with the MeanGirls where they took a dream and fantasy I'd had ages ago and totally ran with it, it involved a hotel, one of these (below)

A whole crowd of women, and some of the most intense humiliation ideas and thoughts.  it felt like the idea was being burned onto my mind,  I was squirming like crazy as they made me imagine being tied to one of these and led around the hotel totally helpless as more and more women came and joined in my total embarrassment, it was all I could do to try and hold off until I was given that glorious permission to release, and as usual was given the order to lick it all up.  I can't remember the last time I didn't have to. *blushes

The other thing that is now looking like is definitely going to happen is something I've wondered about for a while.  I did ask the Mean Girls if it was ok as well, and wouldn't have taken it any further if they'd said not to, but I have been in contact with a Mistress in a city not too far from me, and hopefully having a RT session next week.  I have nerves of course as this is something i've never done before, I have kind of mentioned a few kinks and fetishes I have and a few limits / things that would probably just scare me into a foetal ball crying, but other than that have no idea what will happen.  Speaking to Miss E and Miss V at the weekend they said they would have to know what happened and who knows maybe the Mistress will take a couple pics of my humiliation to give to the MeanGirls.  So for the rest of this week I may be a nervous excited mess of a Sissy, oh very nervous indeed.

Feel free to get in touch and hope you enjoyed
Cinnamon xxx

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

My spiral of humiliation continues xx

Hey everyone,

Thought I would write a quick post as an update, its been a hectic week.  Oh my I had an unbelievable call with the MeanGirls at the weekend and they expanded on my confession last week,  I was squirming in no time as they made me imagine more humiliation at the hands of my closest friend, with them helping.  I've no idea if they even noticed I was wearing a new babydoll *blushes*

I loved the call as I love all the calls with them, and was so embarrassed after as they posted a pic on twitter of my "itty bitty clitty" sticking up in pink panties.  And maybe even more so when I saw some of the comments describing it as "really tiny" yet that got me excited all over again.

As well as that new babydoll I got a couple other new things in the post last week i'd ordered from a sale.  Theres a satin slip that literally feels electric over my body and another really hot pink babydoll, that matches a black one I already have, I loved giving myself a little sissy fashion show the other evening, theres also a couple new pairs of panties that came that are sooooooooooo adorable, baby pink with a lace trim and a flowery pattern on one pair and ice lollies on the other.  They're so to die for!

I'm still trying to make this fit me, although I'm always too small to get the initial rings on, its so embarrassing.  So once again if anyone has any tips i'd gladly accept them,  I think i'd hate being locked up, but there is a curiosity there.

Speaking of curiosities, on my recent call with the Mean Girls, I asked a question about possibly doing something in the near future, and they said it would be ok and i'm allowed, I dont want to say too much at the moment, but watch this space.

Finally after my confession to a friend last week I was worried she wouldn't really speak to me, however nice she was when I opened up, but we've texted nearly every day, and she is determined to get a shopping trip organised, so things are looking up on that front too, I may be a loser, and sexually pathetic, but life seems to be just right at the moment.

Cinnamon xxx

PS.  One last thing, I made a quick Humiliation Wheel just for a bit of fun, feel free to have a play, just click and see what you get

Tuesday, 5 April 2016

My crazy last few days

Hi everyone, must apologise as i've no idea how this post will end up coming across, normally I post after speaking to the MeanGirls but unfortunately due to family commitments was unable to this weekend.  So i'm left with the horrible ache and have a lovely growing little ball of anticipation inside me, getting ever more eager for when I get to call them.

I've also hit the mountain bike trails for the first time this year, and only had one fall with no real damage, so maybe things are looking up :)

Last week I was asked by a new follower on twitter that had read my blog whether I possible answer a few questions on her blog, basically about me and my kinks etc, I gave them some thought and answered them as honestly as I could.  And yesterday the post was published by @DinnerCocktales on her blog, a links here if you'd like to see, i'm really interested to read some of her further "guest" posts, and would like to say thanks for the opportunity to take part

I guess finally for today I have to mention something that happened yesterday, in my normal vanilla life I suppose I try to keep an illusion of normality up with people, although I do seem to be perenially single.  Theres a couple of close friends who've been trying to push me into going to things  like speed dating, online dating, but I always found excuses etc as I know what happens when I get close enough to someone.  Anyways I was with pretty much my oldest friend yesterday who basically said she wasn't leaving till I told her, and I cried, I cried a lot, but there are things I told her i've never considered telling anyone in real life before, I didn't go into all details especially not the humiliation side of things, and I can't go into details fully here yet as it feels very raw. But she did something i'd never expect and has left me feeling quite excited about a few things (shopping and help with sizes, makeup etc), after she left I had a lot of happy tears, and even now feel very emotional.  It really feels like a weights been lifted off me that maybe i've been carrying around for way too long.  I know now I need  to bear this ache till the weekend and hope that this tingling feeling I've been having sticks around, and that I get to speak to the MeanGirls and they let me make a you know what!

Cinnamon xxx