Wednesday, 21 December 2016

A little Christmas update

Hi everyone, thought its been a couple of weeks since I last posted so mainly wanted to write a little post to wish everyone all the best for Christmas and the New Year.  Its been mighty hectic for me recently although unfortunately not really at all kinky, but i'm hoping that will change in the New Year when work and everything settles down.

I realised a few days ago that its pretty much 5 years ago since I was carrying out Mistress Charlottes Xmas humiliation tasks.  I guess thats (apart from a period where I was in and out of the hospital) when this journey really started to take off.  I'm wishing everyone all the best, but especially all those people i've spoke to, tweeted, met etc.  I've said it before but without some of the hints and help i've had I would probably still be locking myself in at home and pretending that this isn't the real me.  Theres way too many people to mention, but each and everyone of them, whether they are Dominant, or a fellow submissive have really been a help.   I've also been thanked by a couple of other people as they say i've helped them.  That has really blown me away as its something i've never expected.  I'm sure that kinky people as a whole are much nicer than vanilla people!

Most of my "fun" if I can call it that lately has been struggling against a cumban i've had imposed until Christmas, its been weeks now and as i'm not actually in chastity its so easy to slip into getting excited then edging.  Coupled with the hellish nature of my job at this time of year the ache is such a distraction. I know that when it gets to Christmas the ban is lifted but I will have to fully dress up and use the magic wand to relieve the ache, (I know it will be almost instantaneous *blushes*)

Each day now it seems i'm thinking of submitting, and of making Mistress Courtney happy.  Especially when i'm at home and manage to stop and relax for a while, although there have been a couple daydreams at work that i've found myself lost in.   I can't wait till I next get the chance to have a session with her.  Although I know its probably going to be the new year now.   Speaking of the New Year, i'm going to make a resolution to have my kinkiest year yet.  I'm thinking this is one resolution I wont give up on after like 3 weeks!

Anyway if you've read this, all the best for the Holidays and i'm sure i'll be back with a more exciting blog post soon, I will probably be about on twitter as usual but will be careful of any alcohol induced tweeting

Cinnamon xx

Tuesday, 6 December 2016

An update and my new toy

Hey everyone, i'm guessing this post may not have the same appeal as the last three, I may wish life could be as kinky as that all the time but know realistically it isn't going to be and with the busy as heck build up to Christmas there may be lots of other stuff going on.  But I thought I would make quick post with an update and maybe a couple of possible future plans.

first I teased in my last post that I had a new toy, and that I would save it for this time to write about, well here goes.  Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while or following me on twitter will know about the mini-wand I got at the end of last year, and the teasing on myself I have done with it.  Due to something in my past I really have a hard limit about inserting anything, so toys like these are perfect for me.  My biggest problem with it has always been the batteries.  Damn they go fast and to be honest it was never really that powerful.  Anyways in my time off work a couple weeks ago I gets an email about a special offer from Lovehoney.  One of their deluxe magic wands with 50% off.  As it was my birthday I couldnt resist and only a couple days later received it through my door.  I couldnt try it straight away as was heading out for a day with the family but tried it the next day I plugged it in and wow it was really like something else.  It actually made me orgasm in moments after a teasing session and a couple of humiliation clips.  Since then i've been teasing myself with it quite a few times whilst also not wanting to just use it and kill all sensitivity down there.  Although this last weekend I had the whole day to myself so challenged myself to edge with it on the hour every hour.  I'm really wishing I had released at the end of the day now, especially as i've been told on twitter not to make a cumsie until Christmas by the wonderful Mistress Elesa who has given me so much advice over the last year or two.  So i've decided to try my utmost hardest not to, although if I managed to squeeze another  session in with Mistress Courtney and got the command I doubt I could say no.  Somehow think it may be after the Christmas holiday that I have another session though, (well I can dream *blushes*)

I did get to briefly see Mistress Courtney last week, she is doing a really good thing and collecting items for the homeless you see, and I had a sort through of some old clothes and had a couple of bags full that I donated.  All of us with easy access to the internet, families and roofs over our heads are so lucky, so to be able to do something to help those who aren't as lucky feels just so right.  It also shows that Mistress Courtney is an amazing lady.  I really hope this project she has taken on goes well.

Getting to the new year the next date for Sinnation has been released, gulp i'm going to need another new outfit if I go to that one.  Its conveniently fallen at the start of my next week off work as well.  Hmm I wonder if it could end up being the next week of kink!!  I really hope it is.  Who knows what it could bring.  I've definitely just got the most perfect new lipsticks that I could wear though!

For the last couple of months as well i've been listening to an online radio station in the evenings a few nights a week.  The best thing is, the station has a kinky twist.  Each night they run a Mistress Chart where listeners can vote in their favourite Mistress.  They have adverts for kinky events, clubs and allsorts.  On occasions as well they have had guest Mistresses in the studio, which always makes for a lively show.  Especially when Lady Sara Borgia takes in her bag of tricks to ermmmm torture one of the DJs with. There is always a good bit of banter and if anyones interested you should check their website out, its and the show goes out mon-thurs between 9 and 11pm.  Hopefully after managing to get a weekend off work in February theres a chance of possibly meeting a couple of them at club subversion as well which could be fun.  May as well make my first ever proper visit to London have something kinky involved with it!

Anyways I'm going to wrap this up now, as always feel free to chat, either here or on twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Sunday, 27 November 2016

Another instalment from this awesome week

Hey everyone.  I know this is like the third post in a week, but a lots happened.  After the events of the past few days Helping Mistress film and also what happened at Sinnation last weekend I was having cravings, and they were getting intense having seen lots of other slaves being played with, although some of the stuff scared me I still felt the ache and cravings grow, but I knew I had my session with Mistress Courtney to look forward to.

The day came later in the week and I felt the usual nervous excitement along with the cravings and the ache which grew as I got closer to the dungeon.  As usual they peaked as I knocked at the door.  Which was opened by Mistress looking stunning as ever and I was shown in.  I said hello to Mistress Luci as I was shown into the same room as last time, we had a little chat about the other day, and other things before Mistress left me with the instruction to get dressed.  After a couple of minutes Mistress was back and loved my dress, and especially my stockings,
 and she sat me down before doing my makeup.  All the while speaking softly, I was as drawn in as ever.   We took a couple of pics then, before I was strapped to the bench.  As always i'm not going to go into all the details, but over the rest of the session I was teased, and for the first ever time had electrics used on me.  Along with wax, a blindfold, Mistresses nails, a little pinwheel I was soon squirming, being blindfolded it seemed Mistresses footsteps were echoed,  As the session went on I was losing myself deep in something i've never experienced before, I could hear Mistress whispering in my ear, and using her nails on something that seems to be a real trigger point for me,  I can't explain what I was feeling as I was craving the ideas Mistress was putting in my head.  Eventually a command i've been craving for a while was whispered, and well wow, that is all i'm saying.

I was led there almost unable to move after and was trembling.  My head was very happily spinning as slowly Mistress went and got some water then had me sitting up, before standing up.  She said it looks like you've found subspace.   Thinking about it now, i've never felt like that before, I was tingling all over, but felt exhausted and crazily happy.  I was then left to clean up and shower and dress.  There was wax everywhere, and Mistress came back in with some chocolate and we had a chat after, she said i'd had a very kinky week, and made sure I was back on planet earth.  I was given a homework task and left with the biggest smile on my face.  As always I seemed to float back home.  Maybe seeing a Mistress is an antidote to getting annoyed stuck in traffic.

I spent the evening feeling all floaty and happy just thinking what had happened.  The evening seemed to disappear and I drifted into some awesome and vivid dreams.  I did also have on saturday morning what I've been told may have been subdrop.  Thats another first for me, can't say its a good thing.  But I was glad of a bit of support I got on twitter as a couple of people recognised it, also Mistress had said it may happen, its hard to explain, but after a relaxed day full of little treats and a play with a new toy in the evening I got off to sleep last night and woke up feeling fine today.  Still having flashbacks though.  Of squirming as Mistress whispered in my ear, feeling my whole body tense and tremble, flinch slightly at the wax, and pulse with the electrics.  Looking back, the day of feeling lousy was well worth it.

I mentioned a new toy, but maybe thinking that will be best left for another post.  I'm going to wrap this up now, what a great end to this week of kinky fun though.  I hope theres more soon.  As always feel free to chat, either on here, or on twitter thanks for reading

Cinnamon xx

Thursday, 24 November 2016

A new experience, and great day

Hey everyone, I said in my last post that this could really be a week full of kink.  So far it really has been.  After my night at Sinnation at the weekend and a relaxing(ish) day on sunday I found myself getting ready for a drive on Monday.  I'd been asked a few days before if I could maybe help Mistress Courtney and Mistress Chloe on their filming day by doing some recording,  i'd said yes pretty much straight away and was looking forward to it.

So it came to Monday morning and I got set off driving in what must have been the most hellacious driving conditions I have ever known.  So much spray on the motorway and a few near calls with people not looking before moving whilst wondering just what would happen as this was all new to me.  I also had the obligatory service station coffee stop before finding myself close to the location, TP_Dungeon so I pulled up and relaxed for a few minutes.  I headed over and saw Mistress Courtney outside and said hi, I was introduced to Mistress Chloe and shown the studio, then I helped unload the car.  The first of the filming slaves arrived then too.  We set a couple of cameras up then I was given a few instructions, and told how to use the cameras.  The other slaves had arrived by then and were in a chat with ideas etc.  Then the fun started, i'm not going to go into detail over everything I saw, but I saw a lot *blushes* we were there for the entire afternoon and managed to get a good few clips filmed, i'll be honest a lot of the clips were of things that aren't usually my sort of thing, but I found myself being in awe of the Mistresses and the way they were, from CP to CBT with a lot of things inbetween, I was having a few cravings of being played with as well.  But I had a job to do, even when a couple of moments made my eyes water.  So I kept focussed and tried my best to make the clips good, I felt quite voyeuristic as well  (if i'm being completely honest as well, for the second  time in three days I was seeing other naked guys, what I saw really made me feel quite small, I always knew I was but that hit home)  I think everyone there had a laugh through the day.  I feel I learned a lot, but also enjoyed it.  Seeing Mistress Courtney happy was an amazing feeling.  And I felt really good that i'd been able to help.  I stayed till the end and helped load Mistresses car up after before heading back to my car.

The journey home was thankfully slightly less wet,  and my mind was racing.  I was so aware of the ache I was feeling, after witnessing everything the last couple of days.  And I got home tired but happy.  I got changed and had a bite, then messaged to Mistress I was home safely like she's asked and confessed that I was kind of aching after seeing everything.  Her reply was that she may keep me in "chastity" (not caged just denied) till my session later in the week.  So from there I knew there wouldn't be any releases just yet.   For the next couple of days I felt the ache grow and grow as my imagination kept running wild.  Strangely though I was doing a vanilla hobby on tuesday and my aim was on fire.  It was supposed to be a competition but that was postponed. Oh well I would have kicked ass if it was on.

Anyways I'm going to leave this for now, there will be another update from this amazing week at some point though (its a bit too fresh for me to really blog about at the moment).  as always feel free to chat to me, either on here or on twitter

Cinnamon xx

PS, Can I call myself a cameraman, or would it be camerasissy *blushes*

Sunday, 20 November 2016

My night at Sinnation

Hi everyone, I'm hoping this will be a fun blog post,  after my adventure last night.  I'd bought a ticket for the first Sinnation event a few weeks ago and had been looking forward to it as it was the first event like that I have ever been to.  I'm guessing as well if you've read any of my recent posts as well you'd know i'd been wondering just what to wear.  I'd been told that I could arrive "vanilla" and change into whatever I felt comfortable in.  Now I wear lingerie most of the time under my guy clothes, but have never really been fully dressed in front of more than one Mistress, but thanks to some encouragement on twitter from Mistress Felix I'd found a dress online, and some heels, and decided I was going to do it.

So anyway time drew around to yesterday and I spent most of the day getting myself ready, and packing a bag with all my things in.  I travelled to the location at the Manchester Chambers, and as usual for my first visit somewhere got a little bit lost, but found myself sat outside soon enough.  I actually met Mistress Felix and her slave outside and they showed me in.  Whilst I was checking my coat and showing my ticket etc I was introduced as Cinnamon to the other people in the room.  This made me blush, which didnt go unnoticed.  Was asked if I wanted to get changed and was shown upstairs to a room and left to get changed.  I was just about ready, when Mistress Felix came in and gave me some help with my makeup, she is very talented, I'm not sure what she did to my eyebrows but they looked amazing.

We went back downstairs to a playroom where there was a sushi girl.  A lot of the other people there were posing for pics and enjoying the sushi off her body.  I think this was the point that I was the most nervous, as there was quite a few people in the room, I was introduced to a few more people and  then stood back to watch a demonstration of Shibari, I've seen pictures of this before but actually seeing someone who was an expert in it in action was something else.  It truly looks like an work of art in progress.  There was some play starting to happen as a slave was worshipping a Mistresses feet during the demo.  I didnt really join in any play, was happy just to watch and try soak things in.  Especially as i'd never really met any of the people there before.  I talked to a few people and then headed upstairs for more Demos, one by Mistress Arabella who had a slave strapped to a bench and proceeded to give a spanking, paddling and caning demo.  Even the cane snapped.  During this I was speaking to another Mistress who remembered me from my day at Sexhibition who said she thought she had remembered me and that she liked my outfit.

There was a bar there that I couldnt properly enjoy with having to drive but I headed over there to cool down a bit, and outside it was very chilly before I headed back upstairs and taken into a room by Mistress Felix, she introduced me to another couple of Mistresses as Cinnamon,  and asked me to watch, I then for the first time ever saw a violet wand used, in tandem with a magic wand, the slave was squirming,  when they started tickling him I got a little bit jealous, (I love being tickled when I can't move) Although I dont think I have a pain threshold like some of the people there.

I had to sit down after a few hours as my feet had started to ache, but it was getting pretty late by then and eventually I got my bag to change ready to leave.  I did have a nightmare though getting my dress unzipped as it had stuck, thankfully though I was helped by Mistress Lola to get it open.  Before I got changed and headed back downstairs.  Chatted for another few minutes and thanked the Mistresses who'd organised it and said my goodbyes.  I had the most traffic free journey home ever (it was 1.45am though) and had some very kinky dreams last night.  I loved that I had the balls to go through with wearing the dress and not going to lie have loved some of the comments I had, I also loved that I didnt feel weird, or pressurised into anything.  Some of the play I saw was way beyond anything i've done yet.  But all in all I had a really good night, and hopefully i'll get to attend more things like this in the future.

A link to the event page is here  Sinnation

That was a hell of a start to my time off work, *blushes* although there is much more to come hopefully starting tomorrow but my lips are sealed, this really could be a week of kink!  As always feel free to chat, either here or on twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

The next week of kink!!

Hey everyone, just thought as its been a couple of weeks since my last post i'd write a quick one.  I'll be honest its been a couple weeks of anticipation growing ready for my time off work thats coming up so fast now, and a few things are falling into place for it.  As I said last time I have a ticket for the first Sinnation event this weekend.  And thanks to my only female friend who knows about this side of me I virtually have an outfit ready, the dress and heels are here, (I have been trying to practice on them) All I'm waiting for now is a pair of tights and a bag which we've ordered.  (I have to have somewhere to keep a few things hehe).  Anyways I've got a fair few nerves now although I'm sure I will be fine when I get there.  I really have no idea what to expect of the night, but it promises to be a lot of fun.  I guess i'll be letting you all know more after it.

Then after that i'm into my final period of annual leave for the year, which i've got a fair few plans.  Some of them vanilla but also have a session booked with the awesome Mistress Courtney which to be totally honest i've been looking forward to since my last one.  There may be a couple of other things happening in the next few weeks too but i'm not going to be jinxing them by talking about them on here yet.  I guess last week I took a bit of a plunge,  I suppose its like Eminem said in "Lose Yourself"

If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?
I would never have thought, 14/15 years ago i'd be making a decision and taking a chance based on the intro to that song.  Especially one like this, but i've done it now, and who knows what will happen from it.  At least I wont be sat in a few years thinking I wonder what would have happened if i'd only took that shot?   

Been a lot of time to think and fantasise the last couple of weeks, and i'm really finding my cravings evolve in a way.  A couple of years ago I would have been like just a horny mess, hoping to be allowed to cum in some way whilst being humiliated.  Whereas now, yes I'm not going to say humiliation does nothing for me at all, but its not all I think of.  Yes I think of some of the wonderful and intriguing things that have happened to me in both sessions and also at the couple of events i've been to, one thing I can't forget though was being introduced to a group of vanilla women as a sissy.  kneeling before them, afraid to lift my eyes at first but feeling just that hand on my head making me feel safe, despite my whole body shaking, the fantasy of cumming doesn't come anywhere close to the dream of that feeling.  
I really do love that I seem to be learning all of the time, theres always something new and I seem to be accepting myself more the more I learn.  Realising that making a Mistress happy makes me not only happy but makes me tingle and seems to be taking a much more prominent postition in my fantasies.  Right I'm going to wrap this one up.  As always feel free to chat, on here or on my twitter and i'll be looking forward to writing my next post *blushes*

Cinnamon xxxx

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

A little update, and where it all began

Hey everyone, i've been kicking an idea around for a blog post for a while now about how I developed into who I am today.  Firstly in the last couple years or so i've had the fortune both to meet and speak to some amazing people who have helped me accept who I am.  But these thoughts and fantasies that seem to consume me aren't just some recent thing.

I dont know if this is true for all submissives or anyone into kink but for as long as I can remember I have had fantasies about being forced into makeup, normally by a group of girls when I was younger that gradually changed into women as I grew up.  At first there was nothing sexual about it, hell I dont think I even knew what sex was back then.  But I can vividly remember the dreams, more than some other stuff from childhood.  For a long time I daren't share these anywhere and as I went through my teenage years tried to suppress the thoughts and appear as normal as possible.  I did alright at school with marks/ grades etc but was an idiot out of it.  Typical teenage stuff really, now I think about it was I overacting the "normal" teenage role?  who knows.  But school and college passed and Uni beckoned.  It was about this time that the internet was just starting to take off.  The century was changing and I was moving in to a sort of semi independent place.  I'd seen a few things about fetishes, and kinks,  but still was nowhere near a position to accept it, I didnt even know "forced fem" was a thing, only really that there were Dominatrix's etc.

I pretty much wore panties for the first time at uni. They weren't mine, and they weren't stolen.  But I kind of had a loose relationship with a girl and I kind of found them after we had split up, one thing led to another and I couldn't resist, the electric feeling I got was something i'd never had before, and for a while after that night I never wore other girly things.  Although the idea was very much planted in my head then.  I kind of tried a few phonesex lines at this time, and although I guess I felt humiliated a bit it just seemed that whoever you got through to was basically going off a script.  Although as a treat when you'd been single a while I thought it was cool.  My kinky development then totally stopped when I finished Uni, as I embarked on what now seems ridiculous, a nearly year long trip around Europe travelling as finding work as I went.  I experienced real SPH for the first time on this trip,  i'll never forget the humiliation as a dutch girl laughed her head off, even more so when it got obvious I was enjoying it.  After that I was wary around dating and even more so when I got home.

Back home the internet had really moved forward, apparently there was going to be something called broadband soon, where you didnt have to hog an entire phone line to browse.  I think i first found a few humiliation sites about this time, and if I had spare time would be basically looking through web-teases and things.  A couple year later I actually took a plunge and started chatting online with a Mistress, man looking back now I wish I knew half of what I did now, as something happened that put me off for a long time and left me in a terrible state,  this isn't the place for details, I know a couple of you may know from chatting but still here isn't the place.

I'm going to be skipping a couple of years again now, to late 2011 I think.  I'd finally started to use twitter.  And as I had my own place again was occasionally using phonesex and chatting about femdom and humiliation again, but again it was one off calls.  This was until on twitter I met Mistress Charlotte, we tweeted a bit and I took part in a series of Humiliation tasks she set called the 12 humiliations of christmas.  Writing reports up every day and having fun.  So much so that after the Xmas holidays I called her on her phone lines and begun a phone relationship that took me further than i'd ever been before.  I had genuine feelings for her and could really tell the difference in our calls as she had got to know me, yes she was on the other side of an ocean, but I learned a lot from the time I spent with her.  However about 18 months later she disappeared.  I still have no idea what happened to her and just hope she is happy.

I took a break from calling anyone then, and to be honest was in and out of hospital for a while, but then found myself calling another Lady, who is still on twitter, Miss Jane.  However with my illness I felt I wasn't in the right place and couldnt do as I was asked.  So after a few calls had to ease off for a while.  So it came to the summer of 2015 and after a few messages I called the MeanGirls for the first time.  I'm not going to say I was hooked straight aways but I knew if they allowed I would be calling back, and for nearly the next year I was calling when I could and carrying out any task they set.  It was them who gave me the idea to start this blog and I learned a lot from them.  Yes on a call I got plenty of the humiliation I craved, (cam and Skype were totally new to me)  But from their tweets I learned a lot.  I'll always be grateful to them.  But I had an itch, and asked if they would mind if I went to see a real Mistress, (theres more details on this in previous posts)  This led to my first real time session, and if you've read this blog you know what has happened since then.

I've found when I get all submissive now, i'm thinking more of trying to please than I am of getting horny and getting myself off.  I genuinely think for the first time i'm being the real me, and I dont think i've ever been happier.

So there you have it, thought I would try and write a post about my journey, without giving away too many personal details, but as for the little update I mentioned in the title, my first "kinky play event" is now only a couple of weeks away and theres a few nerves building but i've bought a ticket and the majority of a new outfit including these shoes, and a new dress thats all pink and sparkly.  I just need a bag and some new holdups and i'm all set I think!

Also some of you may remember the day I had at Sexhibition this year, well I took the plunge and have booked the whole weekend off for next year so hopefully there will be more fun, and also have time booked off to head down to that there London, which will hopefully include a trip to one of the kinky club nights that I have heard so much about.

Theres so much to look forward to, as I will be hopefully seeing Mistress Courtney again for another session when i'm off work in a couple of weeks.  Seriously right now I love my life!!

Anyways this has gone on for an age so i'm going to wrap it up, if you've stuck it out this long thanks for reading, I guess this is kinda a personal post, feel free to chat on here or on twitter as always.

Cinnamon xxx

P.S it was Halloween yesterday so a HarleyCinn pic had to be added :) I do love that makeup app!!!!

Friday, 21 October 2016

A little update of my week and some things coming up!

Hi everyone, I wanted to write a quick post today,  although its probably going to be nowhere near as interesting as the one I posted at the weekend,  I really cannot believe how many views that post has had and some of the feedback I've had on it.  As what happened has sunk in more and the more i've thought about it I've realised even more just how lucky I was.  It really isn't every day that something like that happens, and the thoughts of those laughs in unison have been in my dreams all week and i've been loving the dreams.  Its once again been a week of draining the batteries in my mini-wand.  I've been looking actually at a real sized mains powered wand from Lovehoney, especially at the moment as theyve emailed me a voucher code for 20% off all purchases.  Part of me has been fantasising about being tied up, restrained, maybe blindfolded and teased till i'm totally squirming.  Its only since I started having sessions in real time i've realised how much I somehow just enjoy that feeling of squirming, and having no control over it whatsoever.  I like feeling weak for a dominant woman, it just feels so so right.

  I've mentioned a couple weeks ago about an event that i've been looking forward to and have now bought a ticket.  Which has left me with the dilemma of an outfit.  Having been in touch with the venue i've been told that people can arrive in "normal" clothing and get changed in there to whatever is comfortable.  However I dont really have many outfits, especially fetish orientated ones.  I had spoke over twitter to one of the Mistresses attending who said maybe to wear feminine attire underneath say normal going out clothes.  To be totally honest i've been thinking about doing that, but after last weekend and feeling the exposure I felt last weekend in front of all of those women I'm leaning towards actually getting a full on outfit to take with me, and if i'm comfortable to get changed into it when I get there, and have been looking around for something online.  Found a metallic looking rockabilly dress that may fit me well and also some shoes on amazon that would fit my feet.  May have to wait till payday but I think that the outfit would work ok, I just wish I knew how many people etc will be there and the ratio of males and females.  I guess its the kind of thing that I will be fine with if there is a healthy balance, but I know I certainly wouldn't like a guy trying anything on with me, in fact i'd probably curl up into a ball and freak out.  I think with the outfit I would have to accessorize with stockings, my wig, makeup etc but thats a bridge i'll cross when I get there.  I suppose in a worst case scenario I could use this outfit below as it still just about fits.  It is very very short though. So I could be open to a world of spanking.

  I may well be getting ahead of myself here as the event is still a month or so away, I'm looking forward to seeing another dungeon chambers though and some of the demonstrations that will be happening at it.  Its actually at the start of my next week off work, so I will also be trying to book a session with Mistress Courtney again, especially as it is a special week for me, (not saying i'm getting old but lets face it i'm getting no younger)  Maybe i'll make it the week of kink part 2.  So will hopefully be planning a couple of other things for the week alongside the usual hectic preparations for the festive period.  Any kinky ideas will be more than appreciated hehe. I know full well i'd love to be back in this position again (below to the right)

But in the meantime I have a lots of time, so will be trying to continue a couple of my stories if I can.  And also help something I am very excited about.  A talented writer has asked to basically use me as a character in a story, and I keep getting emails asking me what i'd do in a certain situation and how I would react to things, *blushes* i've certainly never been called someones muse before and it is quite exciting.  And the parts of the story i've read have set a scene very well.  I believe its just starting to get to the exciting and kinky parts now which is even more fun.

Anyways, sorry this is only a short post but i'll wrap it up and get back to my imagination, as always feel free to get in touch, either on here or on twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Sunday, 16 October 2016

A hen party with a difference

Hi everyone, wow this is going to be my third blog post in a week, and is about another experience that I feel so lucky to have had.

Now i'm sure a lot of other subs will have visited the various clip sites on the internet that feature humiliation clips, and I know a lot of the sites have clips where a beautiful Domme tells how she is going to expose you in front of others. I know its a thing I have fantasised about but it also scares me silly and
   However the other evening I got a message from the amazing Mistress Courtney.  She had been asked to do a demonstration of domination at a Hen party in a posh hotel.  She asked if I would like to go along.  I said yes pretty much straight away without even thinking much, the thinking came over the next day or so.  I was full of excitement and also nerves, without really knowing just what to expect.  But I also knew from a message that Mistress wasn't too sure either but said that we would at least have a giggle.  I ended up moving my work around for the day, just to make it easier to get ready.  Anyways saturday came, and I made a bag up of a couple of outfits, not really sure if I would need them and made sure I was ready, had a long bubble bath and then with my nerves at a fever pitch I set off.  The hotel was in one of my favourite cities and is about an hours drive away, so the nerves really built in that time.  Before I arrived and got to park in my favorite car park in the world. (you actually have to drive under the ground to get into it with funky ramps and all sorts, yes I know i'm a geek)

I checked my phone but realised I had no signal being underground and left pretty much into the heart of LiverpoolOne, I knew where the hotel was and made my way to an open space close to it.  I had a message then asking me to meet Mistress at her car. I sat in with her and we had a chat while she was waiting for the woman who had organised it to contact her.  I showed Mistress the outfits i'd brought, and she looked as stunning as ever in a latex dress, she touched up her mascara and I got her some shoes, her coat and a bag out of the boot, the bag obviously had lots of erm implements in it, with various flogger handles sticking out.  I think at this point my nerves were really building yet I felt totally safe with Mistress there.  She had a phone call from the lady and we met her at the door of the hotel.  She greeted Mistress with a hug and thanked her for doing this, and I was introduced as Cinnamon. Obviously I was carrying the bag with all the toys in and we were taken to a semi-private booth in the bar / lobby area.  I panicked inside as there was no privacy at all, luckily the lady said we could use a room if Mistress thought that was better which she did.  So we went up in the lift and were shown into a room.  We were then left and said that she would bring the party in about 5 mins and would knock.  So very hurriedly I was given the honour of helping Mistress shine her latex dress, (trying not to get any of the shiner on the floor and also getting a hotel flannel all blue!) and then I was ordered to get dressed very quickly, I wasn't all out dressed with makeup, just some stockings, a tight black tube dress with holes all over it and matching panties, with my wig and my maxfactor lipstick.  I looked pretty ridiculous I guess.

Mistress decided she would have a chat with the group first and then introduce me, so I was left in bathroom and felt the nerves really building.  I could smell perfume in there, and then I started to hear the voices.  We'd been told that there was 10 in the group and the noise through the bathroom door definitely grew.  I heard as they entered, "you know how theres always a stripper, well guess what" Followed by them being introduced to Mistress Courtney with laughter and giggles and allsorts.  I couldnt really hear everything, but did hear after a few minutes Mistress say she would like to introduce them to someone, she made it quite clear they could laugh at me, but asked them not to record anything (thankfully) then the bathroom door opened, Mistress stood there looking so stunning  with a smile on her face, I felt small, nervous and had a lump in my throat, she just said "come"

I followed out into the room and was introduced as Cinnamon, a sissy, and a guinea pig for the day and was told to kneel next to Mistress  I heard a couple of giggles but at first was too scared to look up, when I did I realised that all of the women there were absolutely gorgeous. As Mistress explained i'd first seen her a few months ago and explained a little bit, I was asked why i'd chosen Mistress Courtney, my nerves were really leaving me speechless but managed to explain why.  while Mistress was stroking my wig. It was pointed out I was shaking, they asked if I was cold, which I really wasn't, it was the nerves, and feelings of exposure, so intense, so scary, yet so perfect *blushes*
   I was asked to fetch the bag of toys Mistress had brought and was ordered to lie on my back.  Mistress introduced a flogger to the group, at first mentioning how it can be used to tease, almost tickling me with it.  I heard a voice say "look cinnamon likes it" as I squirmed before Mistress flogged me with it.  The group were curious how it hadnt left a mark.  Which was explained.    The women were asking lots of questions, mainly about how could they do "stuff" to their partners, Mistress was happy to give lots of tips, I was asked as well about how things made me feel, I was still feeling so nervous.  I was teased with Mistresses fingernails which always makes me weak before being led on the floor again as Mistress sat on my face, and ordered me to kiss her latex covered bottom.  One of the women called out that they couldnt hear any kissing *blushes* so I tried harder. I couldnt really see but heard lots of laughing.  I had to then go and get some rope and Mistress gave a demo of tieing up my tiny cock and balls, no-one said anything but i'm sure I heard a couple of gasps when Mistress took them out of my panties, i've never ever felt more exposed and couldnt look at anyone at that moment, it was then left with the rope dangling to make me more sensitive as more was explained.  I think at this point electrics were mentioned and Mistress said she had some in the car, she looked at me and said maybe I should go and get them (god I physically gulped then) but thankfully I wasn't sent

After having my hands tied, I was then bent over the bed and Mistress gave a lesson in spanking, showing how she builds it up with light spanks and touches, before using the paddles etc.  After this some of the hens, (I have no idea how many) had a go, I couldnt see as my face was on the bed, but there was laughter, one of them really got into it, and told me to "say thank you Cinnamon" so I did and she said "you forgot Mistress" I think I got more spanks because of that.  Then the bride to be was on the bed next to me to get a spanking too.  I was told to get up and Mistress showed how sensory deprivation can work, using a pillow case to cover the eyes of the bride to be, before gently teasing her arms with her nails, asking her how it felt.  (that looked so erotic to me) before taking the makeshift blindfold off and doing the same thing to show the difference.  before long all the women were sat on and around the bed again as I was led on the floor and Mistress did a demo in breath play, by sitting on my face again, whilst tweaking my very sensitive nipples, my god did i squirm, whilst asking if I could breath.   The women were all very inquisitive about the legal side of doing something like this in a session, and Mistress did explain, as well as detailing about lots of other fetishes, including plenty that are way over my limits.  It had been so long in that room, Mistress then asked me to go and get dressed and sent me back to the bathroom, I could hear bits of the conversation after that as I dressed again and when I looked in the mirror I was so red, but felt so lucky.

When I went back out dressed normally again I was thanked by the group that was still there, and asked a few more questions, especially about what really "works" for guys, so I tried to say a couple of things that if a woman takes control of me really makes me weak.  They all seemed to have had a great time, and thanked Mistress Courtney, then we left, me carrying the bag of course.  I had such a giggle at the revolving door to the hotel when a guy was staring at it so hard.  Thinking if only he knew.  I sat with Mistress in her car for a few minutes and felt in that moment so so lucky.  I think Mistress enjoyed it too. We chatted before I left, and I drove home with a huge smile on my face, totally huge smile, and felt exhilarated that i'd done this.

Led at home later I was trying to process everything, I was so humiliated walking out of that bathroom, the moments I was in there waiting I was almost panicking, yet every time I looked at Mistress I knew that I would do it.  At first I was feeling a bit ashamed being stood there like I was I probably looked ridiculous, but after a while that feeling disappeared, I was feeling so excited instead, but frantically not trying to show it in one specific place *blushes* and now as it approaches 3 weeks since my last orgasm it has made the ache I feel a hell of a lot worse.  It was definitely a first for me, and if anyone had said a week ago that I would have been stood in room, exposed as a sissy for a group of 10 beautiful women and Mistress I would never have believed it.  I feel so lucky to have been asked so honoured as well.  As Mistress said in her car afterwards.  Its not your usual saturday evening is it!!

Right i'm going to wrap this up, it feels like an awfully long post, I hope you like it, feel free to get in touch on here or twitter if you've any questions, or *blushes* if you're having a hen party and want a demo lol.

Cinnamon xxx

ps Mistress Courtneys website is and she is on twitter too, @MissCourtneyM although she is on a well deserved holiday now, and I hope she has an amazing time, I really can't thank her enough.

Thursday, 13 October 2016

An experience in a Penthouse

Hi everyone, its only a few days since I posted my last short story, but really wanted to make this post now, while the memory is fresh in my head.  Some of my regular readers (I still can't believe I have those) will remember a post a couple of months ago I made about my trip to Sexhibition and the people I met that day.  Well one of them, Princess Jessika was back in Manchester for a couple of days, and as i'm still fairly new to all of this I asked Mistress Courtney whether it would be ok if I went to see her,  as the last thing I would want to do is run the risk of not being able to have more sessions with her.  After I got a message back that it was ok I contacted Princess Jessika and we arranged a session.

  This was the first time i've arranged to have a session after a shift at work, as my trips to the Stockport dungeon to see Mistress Courtney have all fell on my time off work or holiday time, but as I only had a short shift it was fine, although I can't say I was concentrating too hard on work in the morning *blushes*  Anyways after I finished work I got home and started to get myself ready, i.e shower, shave etc and also put a bag together with a few of my girly things i'd been instructed to take.  Then after getting my final directions I set off on the drive to Manchester, with a sense of nerves i've not felt since my very first session.  Then a sense of frustration trying to navigate the city centre with a sat-nav that kept turning off on me.  Anyways I parked up in a multi story car park and got in touch.  Then composed myself with a drink of water, and made my way on foot to the location (I had a paranoid feeling about being mugged for my bag which the contents would have definitely given someone a surprise).  I got there and was directed up to a penthouse suite, (thats definitely a first for me) and greeted by Princess, she gave me the guided tour before we sat on a balcony and had a chat, first about sexhibition and how I have been since then, then onto things like limits etc.  And I was given a safeword structure, and asked if I was worried and nervous, when I said yes, she laughed and said good!  We went back inside the apartment and I was instructed to show her what I had brought which seemed to go down well.  All of a sudden the session started with a vengeance as I was ordered to strip and put on the stockings, then the dress, which is this one in the picture above to the right.  Princess then applied my makeup after going through the bag, and I proceeded to have a very humiliating time.  As always i'll keep most of the details to myself, but in the time I had to dance and mime to a very embarrasing song.  I was spanked and paddled, tickled quite mercilessly, seemingly endlessly humiliated and I can't believe i'm admitting this but there was something with a pink strap-on,  and lots of threats of public humiliation,I know i drifted into my headspace as I always seem to do and time totally flew.  At the end of the session I was instructed to leave the stockings on and change my panties.  Before dressing over the top of it.  We then had another chat before I left to bring me back to planet Earth I guess but also feel like I learned a lot just from that chat about both myself and the world of kink too.  I was also given a couple of instructions. And had some pictures took that Princess Jessika said she would send to me.

I then had the walk to my car, with an experience with a couple of crackheads in the multi story car park stairwell, followed by rush hour traffic on the way home, and I never stopped smiling once.  Spent most of yesterday evening led relaxing and aching, listening to and drifting in and out of my fantasies again, I do know that i'm effectively on a cumban again now though, which makes the ache feel so much more intense.

Once again I felt totally humiliated and embarrassed, i've actually been wondering today if a setting can actually influence the amount of humiliation you can feel.  I mean, with this session being in a luxury penthouse apartment,  did that add to the feeling of humiliation?  Especially seeing as its not what you would usually expect to happen in a place like that, whereas in a dungeon somehow you expect it, maybe its just my head wondering, or maybe there is something in it?  I definitely know after yesterday i've never been in any less doubt that I dont even have an excuse for a manhood, its too small for even that *blushes* and that when a dominant lady plays with my head I melt, gosh damn I melt.

Anyways I guess i've rambled on for long enough now but as always feel free to chat to me on twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Monday, 10 October 2016

The knock at the door (a new short story)

Hi everyone, its been a while since i've posted here, to be totally honest i've had a little bit of a block when i've sat down to write a post even though I've been feeling more submissive than ever.  So I thought I would take an idea from a couple of dreams i've had and try write them into a short story.  So here goes, hope you enjoy

The Knock at the Door

It was a few weeks ago now, I was on the first day of a week off work that i'd been looking forward to for an age.  Things hadn't been going well at work and I felt exhausted.  I spent the early part of the day visiting friends and family before coming home to make a meal and settle down into my "other" persona.  I'm not going to lie, I was that tired my makeup wasn't the best i've ever done, but I got the feeling I always did when getting dressed in lingerie.  Of course I shared my feelings on my "secret" twitter and within an hour or so was losing myself in my submissive fantasies, hoping that I may be able to have a session later in the week.  I was both browsing clothes on the internet and watching some of the humiliation clips I have, so was quite excited and after a couple of weeks of self denial was feeling a deep ache growing in my small balls.

I did take a small break after a while and had myself a beer, finding myself fascinated at my lipstick marks on the neck of the bottle, being quite tired the beer really got me relaxed and I led down after teasing myself to the edge time after time, It was getting pretty late now, and I started flicking through the phonesex channels on TV feeling my imagination wander into fantasy then it happened.

Knock Knock, I froze and became suddenly alert, was that my front door?  No surely it can't have been, then Knock Knock again, it was, I gulped and felt myself trying to hold my breath, there was no way I could answer dressed like this, and had no way of getting myself into a suitable state to open the door.  I muted the TV, thinking surely whoever it is will go away, then my phone beeped with a text msg.  I tried to smother it scared that the noise would be heard at the door, it read. "Surely little Miss it is very rude not to answer your door"  I looked at the number and didn't recognise it and felt a panic set in, surely i've been careful enough that no-one knows my secret girly side.  Even worse a second message came through saying "I know you have read that last msg, but take your time"  I couldn't even sneak into the bedroom to grab some boy clothes to answer without passing the front door, let alone remove my makeup properly. I replied "who is this"  and waited, feeling myself shake with fear.  A picture msg came back of my front door with the reply "Well Cinnamon, I guess you had better open the door and see xx"

Now I was freaked, the next msg came a moment later and said "you dont want me to start shouting do you?"  I could feel my mind whirling trying to work out what to do, who was there who could possibly know I knew I couldn't have any shouting, not with my neighbours, that would be terrible, I thought well the hallway light is off maybe if I take off the wig, and try stand behind the door i'll be ok, I felt so exposed in my pink fishnets, panties and ruffled babydoll as I went to the door, I unlocked and opened it a fraction and couldn't see a thing, peering my head around I whispered "hello" and still nothing.  It was pitch dark outside so I poked my head out and whispered again, it happened so quickly then, from round the corner I saw a shadow and something quickly came over my head.  I was gently pushed back inside and heard my door shut and the sound of stiletto heels on my laminated floor, I could smell a perfume that I thought I recognised from somewhere, then heard a voice "So Cinnamon, are you scared?" 

I could feel my heart pounding as I nodded in reply, I swear I tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out. Did I recognise that voice, I wasn't sure, I was pushed against the wall and felt a hand roughly grab me through my panties, "it looks like something isn't scared" before a giggle, I was dragged into my lounge then and felt some cuffs being put on my wrists behind my back.  The softest whisper came into my ear "do not fucking move or make a sound, ok??" I nodded again through whatever had been put over my head and felt the panic growing It was soft like a pillowcase and i'm sure it had perfume all over it, There was still the phonesex channels on my TV and humiliation sissy porn playing on my laptop, this was soon realised and I heard whoever this was talking to themselves as they looked through my laptop, I could feel a tear starting to form in my eye, "Humiliatrix, Cruel Girlfriend, Clips4Sale, oh my looks like someone has quite the collection" the voice said, with a giggle as she turned the volume up a bit, laughing at some of the suggestions coming from the clips. I could hear movement and was dragged around my flat with a firm hand clasped around my tiny manhood, which was throbbing and betraying me as my fear grew.  As we entered my bedroom I heard drawers being opened and exclaimations of "jackpot" I knew my girly things had been found, and heard the distinctive tone of a camera click from a smartphone.

I then felt the thwack across my chest of the flogger thats in one of my drawers and the unmistakable sound of the miniwand, I was whispering "please, whats happening, whats going on, who are you" But having no reply other than the faintest of giggles, and the slightest touches on my tiny cock and tickles keeping me so aroused despite the fear I was feeling, and then I was pushed on my bed, I felt the weight of whoever this was sitting on me, making it so I couldn't move, "Just a quick call I have to make Cinnamon darling" the voice said my panic was absolutely full on now, but I couldn't move or do anything about it as the voice said "hey girl, we're about ready now, bring the car round and with everything i've found we may need that big bag to put everything in"

I felt that hand slowly start rubbing me over my panties and squeezing, driving me crazy but not enough to make me cum, then the door knocked again, "hehe its time" she said pulling me to my feet and back out of my bedroom towards the front door, I was pushed up against the wall as I felt the cool air as someone else entered my flat, I heard another pair of stilettos and a laugh at my exposed aroused and by now shaking state, that voice that had tortured my mind tonight said we'll get what we need and then be off, she told the new woman to go and check whats playing on the laptop in there, I was dragged back into the bedroom hearing out and out laughter from the lounge, and heard the sound of things being thrown into a case, with a few nice comments on certain garments and makeup, I'd given up trying to understand what was happening now, I heard the case being zipped up and was pulled back to the laughing second woman in the lounge, "These videos are so funny" she said, "can we take this with"  My god I thought, where do i recognise that voice from.  I could feel her approach, and knew there was one woman on each side of me now, my cock was roughly grabbed again, still throbbing and I involuntarily thrusted which brought a giggle from one side, and a comment of "patience" from the other.  I heard the camera sound again, before a comment of "thats a lovely selfie for twitter" I gulped as the voice said "Right its about time to go"  I finally found my voice and said "go, go where" The grip on my cock tightened to the point of pain and my nipples were roughly pinched as I heard the reply "you'll see, after all Cinnamon, you have all week off work" as the other voice started laughing, I felt tears running down my cheek then as I was dragged out of my flat, cuffed hooded and in my flimsy lingerie, praying no-one would see me.  I heard a car boot open and heard the case being put in, lets put her in the boot too came the second voice, I was pushed in with a giggle and heard the door shut..........

The end, (for now)

Well there you go, I hope you enjoy this, and theres certainly scope for continuing the story, but for now I think this is a good point to leave it, as I've got myself all worked up typing it out.  

I really would love to know what you all think of it, I got some great feedback from the first couple of short stories I wrote and being totally knew to writing it was much appreciated.  

Anyways I have a fairly busy and exciting week ahead, with maybe some kinky play that i've been looking forward to for a while (all may be revealed soon) and   Investigating a couple of new opportunities in my vanilla life, and also shopping in advance for what sounds an intriguing night in November that I have a ticket for, but i'm sure i'll still be on Twitter as much as always so feel free to chat to me on there.  Especially if you've got any feedback for me.

Sorry its been so long since the last post, I promise i'll try not to leave it as long this time

Cinnamon xxx

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

My evolving fantasies of submission

Hi everyone, I'm guessing this will be a little different than my normal posts, i'm more just trying to get my feelings down somewhere as it may help me to understand them more.

You see for a long time my fantasies and thoughts were mainly of humiliation, as i'm sure a lot of the early posts on this blog will indicate, and dont get me wrong I still have them, but i've found that nothing is the same as actually being in the presence of a Domme,  I've found that things I used to do like sit and watch the humiliation playlist dont have quite the same effect on me anymore.  Dont get me wrong I still get aroused by them, (I know its pretty pathetic) but just not as much as things that have happened recently.

I know in real terms I am still pretty inexperienced and learning but just from a few of the things i've had done to me, the sensations i've felt etc i've realised the excitement they stir somewhere deep inside me, that i've never really felt before.  Now i'm finding the fantasies i'm having are much more intense, in a way much scarier, and much (i dont know if this is the right word but) darker as well.

Most of them still involve humiliation as I still think there is nothing like a beautiful woman laughing especially when its aimed at me, but now i'm constantly daydreaming of being totally at the beck and call of a Mistress, I think the session with Mistress Courtney last week took me further than ever, and now I dream of being strapped down like I was, having Mistress first stood over me with a glint in her eye as she first dripped those drips of hot wax that to me seemed to drop in slow motion, feeling the sting as they landed, then the pressure as she placed her foot on my uncontrollably throbbing you know what.  In that moment I would have probably agree'd to anything, I think that is now the thing that has evolved the most for me.  Pretty much every humiliation phone call I have had I've made when I was pretty horny and had been building up to it, dont get me wrong, I hear about a lot of dumbass blokes who call up and are rude etc.  I hope I have never been like that, with any of the few Mistresses i've called, and over the last year calling the  MeanGirls I was pretty much calling to be able to play with myself and usually ended up making a you know what.  (only on their say so of course) But now I want to be thinking more of making a Mistress happy, you know, I would get much more satisfaction from being told i've done well than I would stroking myself off.  Dont get me wrong, i'm not saying i'm not getting aroused anymore, its just that the arousal is affecting me differently,  and the thoughts I have are different.  I never used to want to be tied up, spanked etc but now the cravings I have are full of it.  I still dream of being "forced" into a makeover and I dont think that will go away, there is something about having your makeup done that makes me feel so submissive.  It is literally like throwing away what little of my manhood is left, its so much different than when I practice at home.  I suppose another of the real differences i've noticed is that when I get totally girly, the craving for submission grows, but the craving for humiliation doesn't.  Yet if say I'm in boy mode or say just wearing panties etc, the humiliation craving goes through the roof, (yes I know i'm always in panties, but maybe this sentence will explain my almost permanent cravings)  Sorry if this doesn't make much sense. But it does to me you know.

Have to mention as well, the dress I ordered last week was delivered and it fits Yay, and on twitter so many people have like the pic of it so i've added it here too.  I'm so looking forward to taking it to my next session.  I'm also looking at attending a couple of events, so I may need a full outfit for those *blushes* I really hope i'll get to explore these feelings more in sessions, I feel more like me than I ever have before.

As always feel free to chat to me on twitter or even on fetlife seeing as i'm trying to get more involved on there as well.

Cinnamon xxx

Thursday, 15 September 2016

The week of kink so far

Hi everyone, I thought i'd try write a blog today in the middle of my time out from the real world, its been a bit of a whirlwind week so far.  I still have no idea what to do at the weekend either!

At the start of the week I was obviously super-excited about my upcoming session with Mistress Courtney but was also excited about the membership to Cruel Girlfriend I won as well.  I have to be honest, some of their videos scare the pants off me but there are some that just make me melt into a submissive mess.  I was also looking around for a dress, picked a few out and trying to look into local fetish/kink events.  I was invited to a play munch, but my nerves got the better of me, especially I think as it was a dress up one and the event list on fetlife showed a lot of other males.  I was thankful that two ladies had taken the time to invite me, but having never met them or anyone else there I just got too nervous.

Anyways tuesday soon came and I journeyed to the Stockport Dungeon for my session, feeling the same nervous excitement I always do thankfully got there in good time, (I always panic with the traffic) and was asked to wait outside as Mistress needed a few minutes.  Of course I had no problem with that and awaited the message to go to the door.  I knocked and the door opened and as every other time i've been was momentarily speechless, wow Mistress Courtney truly is stunning.  She greeted me in a friendly way and inspected the small cut on my head I had from having a glass bottle rammed into it, before showing me into the large dungeon, (i've never been in this room before) I was allowed to use the bathroom before the session started.  Mistress slowly undressed me to reveal my new panties which she really liked, (the ones on the right in the pic above) she then left to get something and told me to remove the rest of my clothes and kneel, I couldn't help glancing around at the equipment and feel myself get nervous, but then Mistress was back and I was put into a bra, stockings, before she did my makeup, Mistress even noticed that i'd lost some weight which made me happier than anything.  Finally it was time to try some dresses on, she chose a black one in the end.
All tied up and nowhere to go

The rest of the session I won't go into too much detail, but I was restrained more than ever on a bench with cuffs and straps, and had some things done to me I've never had done before, the feeling of hot wax dripping onto my excuse of a manhood while Mistress stood over me was so intense, I was intrigued but scared at the thought, but as Mistress judged there was a part of me that really liked it.  Even more so as she pressed her foot down on my you know what.  That was a totally new experience for me.  Mistress was also a little stricter this time, she said she loved this bench as once you are strapped on it, there is nowhere you can escape too.  I really found myself liking this stricter side of Mistress, and was getting lost in that special place, where you just want to please.
Mistresses Perfect foot

After this I was released and for the first time after having my arms attached to a suspended bar had the experience of an introduction to flogging, and the different types of floggers.  Again I was nervous at this, and I know Mistress could have gone harder but I was so glad to get through it without wimping out.  All through the session Mistress was coming up with ideas we can maybe try in the future and the thought just excites me more than ever.  I wasn't allowed to make a cumsie this time, Mistress said she wanted to send me home still covered in wax and excited.  So I dressed and Mistress brought me a coffee and we had a really good chat, especially about what happened at Sexhibition, which she had asked me about at the start of the session, you know, like who I had met, and what happened etc, and also how I had liked it.  I also got some advice on the dresses i'd been looking at, and just felt so comfortable sharing thoughts that a year ago I would never have dared tell anyone.  Although Mistress saying that one time she will send me home fully dressed as Cinnamon scares the heebie-geebies out of me!!!

I left on a high as always, and found myself in traffic on the M60 in the midst of the biggest thunder and lightening storm I've ever seen round here, It was comparable with some i've seen living abroad before, a totally surreal drive, still as hard as anything, on a high in the midst of this storm, I was glad to get home thats for sure.  Obviously I had to get to work on my homework, which I feel excited to have been given the chance to do.  But was way too distracted to get on my computer properly.  Most of the night, even after a shower I was left finding bits of wax all over!  The one thing I did get done that night was order myself a dress, it looks so so pretty

Its all floaty and pink, its actually arrived this afternoon, so after i've had a visitor for tea, I'm certain I will be trying it on *blushes* I hope it fits nicely!  So as I said before, my nerves got the better of me yesterday, but I found myself in a bar with friends which was good and worked some more on my homework before seeing something by chance, which has led to another amazing opportunity.  It turns out Princess Jessika, who I met at Sexhibition will be in Manchester for a few days next month and hopefully will get to meet again while she is up here.  I did learn so much that day, 

Now i've still got the rest of the week and the weekend to indulge in whatever takes my fancy, although at the moment i'm a bit clueless as to what to do, I've actually just had a daydream about checking into a hotel for a couple of days to find that its staffed by Dommes, and anyones stay is full of serving and humiliation, how cool would that be??  I'm also having to research fetish wear as it looks like thanks to a prize draw I will be going to a pretty damn big fetish club in London at some point, yikes, I may even be going to a local one soon as well, I definitely am so glad I started exploring this side of me, and theres things i'm looking forward to so so much and the cravings I have just seem to get stronger!  I'm really starting to feel the ache after not being allowed a release again, and it seems to make the desires stronger *blushes*
I'm gonna wrap this post up now, but feel free to get in touch, especially if you've any kinky ideas for me to try over the weekend, either here or on twitter Hope you've enjoyed reading

Cinnamon xxx

Friday, 9 September 2016

Its nearly here, my week of kink!

Hi everyone, wow its been a while since I blogged so thought i'd make a quick one before the excitement totally overwhelms me, you see its only a few days until I get to have a RT session with Mistress Courtney again, and the "week of kink" I had been thinking of trying to plan now really looks a bit busier than I thought it could be.  Having found a BDSM club night not too far away next weekend and also a couple of play munches, for one of them i've even had someone offer to take me as I think they have sensed my nervousnness.  I do think I would need to try and find someone to come to the club night with me though, as I guess i'd have less of an idea what to expect than I did at Sexhibition a few weeks back.  I've really found fetlife more helpful than ever in the last few days

I had been toying with the idea of maybe trying to book another session for later in the week too, although still not made my mind up on that.  I'll be totally honest, i'm still a bit unaware of the etiquette in the whole D/s scene and feel very mindful of not getting something wrong.  So many people have been so nice to me on twitter and now that i've been exploring more i've realised there are so many Mistresses around in a relatively local area to me.  It really does feel like all of a sudden my eyes have been opened to this whole world, right now i'm like at the edge looking in and just hoping my nerve will hold and i'll get to explore my kinks and submit so much more.

Earlier this week I was doing a little bit of reminiscing and was reliving some of my first ever humiliation tasks for Mistress Charlotte, that goes nearly 5 years back now, she was the first Domme that I called regularly, and I genuinely had a lot of fun until she left the scene.  At that time I regularly had tuesdays off work and used to have to roll a dice at midnight, I would then have to edge for that many hours through the night, it was a way I could do a task for her while in a separate timezone, and she accepted at that time that I couldn't afford to call as much as I wanted as was struggling with my illnesses.  Anyways I had got the point earlier this week where I had self denied myself for 5 weeks, with pretty much daily edging.  Needless to say I had a case of blue balls.  I was aching and straining, and received a msg off a Mistress on twitter who knows a bit about me, she told me to roll the dice.  I did and got a four,  I was then given the instruction that I had to cum four times that day, i'll be totally honest the first couple of times was like a relief, I left a good hour or two between each one.  But by the fourth I was actually struggling, I'd got so very sensitive and so sore but kept going (I used a hell of a lot of lube on the fourth)  Of course like i've been trained in the past I did consume most of my nasty boy squirts, although I was told to leave the third and fourth in a pair of panties.  After i'd finished I was told in the morning I would have to toss a coin, heads and those crusty panties would have to be worn to work, ewwwww I was so glad to roll a tail.  It did feel good to finally get a release, although I was sore after for a couple of days.

I have also been really really lucky recently, I mean I won that RT competition from LoveHoney, and then last week won another "mystery" prize from another Adult store called SaucyUK.  I've not received it yet but looking forward to seeing what it is.  And also yesterday I found i'd won another competition.  By entering a clip idea to a humiliation website CruelGirlfriend, I was so surprised to hear that they really liked the idea, and the prize was a months membership.  So again i've been so so lucky and i'll even get to see my clip idea brought to life as a clip on their site.  I think thats pretty awesome!

Anyways I'm going to wrap this up and wish everyone a great weekend, and I'm sure i'll have an update or two on my week of kink next week, and as always feel free to get in touch, either here, fetlife or Twitter

Cinnamon xx