A little update, and where it all began

Hey everyone, i've been kicking an idea around for a blog post for a while now about how I developed into who I am today.  Firstly in the last couple years or so i've had the fortune both to meet and speak to some amazing people who have helped me accept who I am.  But these thoughts and fantasies that seem to consume me aren't just some recent thing.

I dont know if this is true for all submissives or anyone into kink but for as long as I can remember I have had fantasies about being forced into makeup, normally by a group of girls when I was younger that gradually changed into women as I grew up.  At first there was nothing sexual about it, hell I dont think I even knew what sex was back then.  But I can vividly remember the dreams, more than some other stuff from childhood.  For a long time I daren't share these anywhere and as I went through my teenage years tried to suppress the thoughts and appear as normal as possible.  I did alright at school with marks/ grades etc but was an idiot out of it.  Typical teenage stuff really, now I think about it was I overacting the "normal" teenage role?  who knows.  But school and college passed and Uni beckoned.  It was about this time that the internet was just starting to take off.  The century was changing and I was moving in to a sort of semi independent place.  I'd seen a few things about fetishes, and kinks,  but still was nowhere near a position to accept it, I didnt even know "forced fem" was a thing, only really that there were Dominatrix's etc.



I pretty much wore panties for the first time at uni. They weren't mine, and they weren't stolen.  But I kind of had a loose relationship with a girl and I kind of found them after we had split up, one thing led to another and I couldn't resist, the electric feeling I got was something i'd never had before, and for a while after that night I never wore other girly things.  Although the idea was very much planted in my head then.  I kind of tried a few phonesex lines at this time, and although I guess I felt humiliated a bit it just seemed that whoever you got through to was basically going off a script.  Although as a treat when you'd been single a while I thought it was cool.  My kinky development then totally stopped when I finished Uni, as I embarked on what now seems ridiculous, a nearly year long trip around Europe travelling as finding work as I went.  I experienced real SPH for the first time on this trip,  i'll never forget the humiliation as a dutch girl laughed her head off, even more so when it got obvious I was enjoying it.  After that I was wary around dating and even more so when I got home.

Back home the internet had really moved forward, apparently there was going to be something called broadband soon, where you didnt have to hog an entire phone line to browse.  I think i first found a few humiliation sites about this time, and if I had spare time would be basically looking through web-teases and things.  A couple year later I actually took a plunge and started chatting online with a Mistress, man looking back now I wish I knew half of what I did now, as something happened that put me off for a long time and left me in a terrible state,  this isn't the place for details, I know a couple of you may know from chatting but still here isn't the place.



I'm going to be skipping a couple of years again now, to late 2011 I think.  I'd finally started to use twitter.  And as I had my own place again was occasionally using phonesex and chatting about femdom and humiliation again, but again it was one off calls.  This was until on twitter I met Mistress Charlotte, we tweeted a bit and I took part in a series of Humiliation tasks she set called the 12 humiliations of christmas.  Writing reports up every day and having fun.  So much so that after the Xmas holidays I called her on her phone lines and begun a phone relationship that took me further than i'd ever been before.  I had genuine feelings for her and could really tell the difference in our calls as she had got to know me, yes she was on the other side of an ocean, but I learned a lot from the time I spent with her.  However about 18 months later she disappeared.  I still have no idea what happened to her and just hope she is happy.

I took a break from calling anyone then, and to be honest was in and out of hospital for a while, but then found myself calling another Lady, who is still on twitter, Miss Jane.  However with my illness I felt I wasn't in the right place and couldnt do as I was asked.  So after a few calls had to ease off for a while.  So it came to the summer of 2015 and after a few messages I called the MeanGirls for the first time.  I'm not going to say I was hooked straight aways but I knew if they allowed I would be calling back, and for nearly the next year I was calling when I could and carrying out any task they set.  It was them who gave me the idea to start this blog and I learned a lot from them.  Yes on a call I got plenty of the humiliation I craved, (cam and Skype were totally new to me)  But from their tweets I learned a lot.  I'll always be grateful to them.  But I had an itch, and asked if they would mind if I went to see a real Mistress, (theres more details on this in previous posts)  This led to my first real time session, and if you've read this blog you know what has happened since then.

I've found when I get all submissive now, i'm thinking more of trying to please than I am of getting horny and getting myself off.  I genuinely think for the first time i'm being the real me, and I dont think i've ever been happier.

So there you have it, thought I would try and write a post about my journey, without giving away too many personal details, but as for the little update I mentioned in the title, my first "kinky play event" is now only a couple of weeks away and theres a few nerves building but i've bought a ticket and the majority of a new outfit including these shoes, and a new dress thats all pink and sparkly.  I just need a bag and some new holdups and i'm all set I think!








Also some of you may remember the day I had at Sexhibition this year, well I took the plunge and have booked the whole weekend off for next year so hopefully there will be more fun, and also have time booked off to head down to that there London, which will hopefully include a trip to one of the kinky club nights that I have heard so much about.

Theres so much to look forward to, as I will be hopefully seeing Mistress Courtney again for another session when i'm off work in a couple of weeks.  Seriously right now I love my life!!

Anyways this has gone on for an age so i'm going to wrap it up, if you've stuck it out this long thanks for reading, I guess this is kinda a personal post, feel free to chat on here or on twitter as always.

Cinnamon xxx

P.S it was Halloween yesterday so a HarleyCinn pic had to be added :) I do love that makeup app!!!!

More tales of humiliation, and welcome back to the Mean Girls

Hey everyone, i'm writing this in such a happy mood, i'm pretty sure you'll be able to guess why, last night after four long weeks I got to speak to the MeanGirls and boy had I missed their laugh, (and they laughed a hell of a lot)

Last week I posted about a small assignment i'd been given involving a slice of cake *blushes* and having to make a precious cumsie all over it, and how embarrassing i'd found it, almost even more so that I was all alone, and then evidence myself eating it for them,  although after edging daily while Miss Vicki was recovering from her surgery had made me desperate enough to do anything

here was the cake before *blushes*

Now I'd been instructed to get pictures but I was only allowed to send them just before I called last night so I could hear the initial laughter that they provoked in Miss Vicki and Miss Erika, this next one was after the cumsie but before the eating

I know its yucky and gross, but I had to follow my orders, and was so grateful to relieve the ache i'd had.  So I took pics of me eating it, and they laughed so hard at them.  

Also prior to the call last night I had to turn my pillow into a GF using lingerie, a paper plate face and a homemade wig.  Just trying to get it all sorted I knew that this was going to be an extremely humiliating call,  I'd had the anticipation building for days for the call, and spent the afternoon yesterday making pillow Jess as i'd been told with a leopard print bra and panty set, the face, and an attempt at a wig I made with a reel of purple ribbon.  She was sat in my bedroom as I entertained some friends for dinner and I was paranoid someone would just walk in and see her *blushes* thankfully that didn't happen, and the meal i'd cooked went well.  Unfortunately after my friend fell asleep on my sofa, and I was just wishing I was alone so I could start getting ready,  eventually I got him awake though and was left alone, feeling a nervous pit of anticipation growing deep inside me.

Finally I sent the cake pics, struggled down to my knees and called.  It was so good to hear their voices and their laughs, especially when I introduced them to pillow Jess, they even put a picture up on Twitter of her *blushes*  I could feel a lump in my throat as I just felt extra humiliated as I was singing to them, and confessing my love to a pillow, all to the barrage of humiliation that kept coming, I'm not going into all the details but eventually I had to make a cumsie on Jess and lick it up, which wasn't great as I got cotton in my mouth, then they realised they'd actually made me cry with humiliation which mortified me, but also excited me.  I was literally led spent on the floor for ages after the call, feeling like my head had melted.  I've been told now as well I have to sleep with Jess every single night and make her feel special, it definitely just makes me really embarrassed, but without say the arousal of other humiliating ideas, you know like cfnm, or being caught dressed etc, I honestly dont know how I feel here.  I do know I had a ridiculously awesome dream last night, totally humiliated and controlled, even if it did take me till 5.30 am to fall asleep. (with Jess of course *blushes*)

Today, i've been thinking a lot as well after a conversation on twitter, and considering something about myself that I have never considered before, its so complicated and in a way daunting, and goes way beyond my fantasies of humiliation etc, its quite a raw feeling at the moment, and I am not sure how I feel but may be speaking about it more soon.  Reading some things about it have left me crying again this afternoon, some things i've read just seem so so true.

I wouldn't feel right today writing a blog post without referencing the awful and tragic events in Orlando over the weekend, its such a loss of beautiful life, and my heart goes out to everyone affected.  If I had just one wish, it would be that people would just be tolerant of others no matter how they live their lives, we are who we are, i've come to realise that to hide who you are can be damaging to you.  I guess thats all for now, and sorry to end the post on such a note but I genuinely feel horrible about the events.  As always feel free to chat on twitter, and I hope to be back with another post soon, love ya all

Cinnamon xxx

A tale of Lipstick, illness and dreams becoming reality

Hey everybody,  its been a while.  Sorry about that, but i've not been 100% recently.  But hopefully i'm back now.

Last time I wrote I mentioned the sale on lipsticks from one of my favorite companies,  and well they arrived, some of you may have seen the pics I put on twitter but oh my god I love them, so pigmented, so bright, they are just perfect.

The brand name is changing apparently which is why they were so cheap,  i'm not complaining, they were a bargain.  I even figured out that I now own enough lipsticks to wear a different one every day and still go over a month before doubling up, *blushes* I did a swatch of the new ones and the older ones of the same brand I'd already bought

You can see the pigmentation and brightness of them, they really are my favourites now!

Anyways i've obviously been edging for and worshipping the MeanGirls as much as I could over the last couple weeks since I last called them.  I was hoping I would get to speak to them this weekend just gone as with the illness I had i'd missed out last weekend as I wasn't up to it.  Even this week I'm not 100% and apologised that I wasn't right to go on cam for them.  But had possibly the most intense call i've ever had with them.  I knew it was Easter so knew I would be lucky if they would be available but I was still awake when I got the message that they would be logging on to NiteFlirt.  All thoughts of going to bed disappeared and I quickly got ready and called.

Miss Erika and Miss Vicki quickly led the call into living out a dream I had recently, they'd seen it on here, and they roleplayed through the SissyCarrie dream I had, embellishing it, and adding bits where they wanted too, I felt humiliated, emasculated, embarrassed and oh so incredibly aroused. Being led in the dark through the call just drew me into the fantasy deeper and deeper, until I could vividly imagine being on that stage begging a baying crowd of laughing women to be allowed a cumsie, not caring that it was being photoed filmed and witnessed by every hot girl in town, covered in lingerie, makeup and blushing bright red.  I'm not lying when I say that at the end of that call I was shaking and trembling.  I loved it *blushes* And dreamt of it through the night.  So intense and amazing, I can't thank the MeanGirls enough for taking my dream and turning it into such an erotic experience for me.

Today i'm off work at home, and decided to try give this cage another go,

However I really do appear to be too small to get the thing to fit, you know the idea of chastity scares the living hell out of me but I keep trying, genuinely if anyone has got any ideas or tips for very small guys I would really appreciate them,

So as thats not appearing to be working so far, I guess I should indulge in the humiliation playlist and some MeanGirls audios and start the cycle of edging all over again.

Thanks for reading again, and feel free to get in touch

Cinnamon xx

Torment, Humiliation, Punishment and Pleasure

Well hello again everyone, I have to write a blog about the last week or so,

Anyone who has read some of my previous entries will probably know all about a girl at my work called Jess, there has been some teasing and flirting and well after the works Christmas do when she was drunk, i'm pretty certain she knows that I am not exactly well endowed "down there"

Well anyway she finished at my work last week, she is moving across the country for at least a year, so a group of us thought we should maybe go grab a drink, a bite to eat etc as like a send off for her.   There wasn't many of us, about 6 and the afternoon was going great until everyone left apart from me and Jess. We were sat in a booth in a corner of the bar and she was being her usual self, which was quite cool as we haven't really spoke much the last few weeks with audits etc at work its been hectic. Anyways after a while she put her arm around me and kissed my cheek, before properly kissing me again.  As it did last time it felt amazing and she kind of swung her legs over mine so she was in effect sat on my knee.  Then the worst thing possible happened,  (please bear in mind I'd been allowed no cumsies for over two and a half weeks) as we kissed I could feel my tiny thing start to throb and then without notice it actually blew *blushes*  You have no idea how glad I was that she had no hands in the area, I literally did not know what to do, whilst instantly thinking of the MeanGirls.  I must have somehow pulled back involuntary but the kiss didn't go on much longer, from then till we left I tried to stay sat down and felt utterly mortified and humiliated, when we left I could see a small mark on my trousers and horribly a little drying trickle down my thigh.

It was the panties from this set I had on, and when I got home I had to try and wash them straight away.  I also knew I had to confess to the MeanGirls so sent them an email and also a Gift Certificate to apologise, I know they control my cumsies.  I was panicking and was dreading it as I had let them down, It was a day or so before I heard back so I was a wreck, but they said I was sweet to confess, but that they expected to watch a punishment on cam over the weekend.

So it got to sunday and pretty much all day I was edging for them and making myself ache as much as I could and it got to that glorious time.  I called and as soon as I heard their voices I could feel myself weaken, it had been ages but I was once again under their spell.  There was so much humiliation as they made me describe in detail what had happened,  and then I had to give a spoken apology to go along with my written one and their laughs at this made me tremble, before the punishment.  I had to spank myself with the paddle thats at the top right of this pic as the MeanGirls counted along

I've never really been much of a pain lover although I know I deserved at least this, I've also been told if I ever have an accident like this again I have to lick the panties clean.  I was then allowed to make a cumsie into another pair of panties and you guessed it I had to lick them clean as their laughs totally ripped me apart into a whole new level of embarrassment.  I already can't wait till my next call with them but really hope I never let them down again as they've told me the punishment will be worse next time.  They also said it would be fun for me to call tied up with a woman with me, so they could tell all my secrets and this is a thought thats been in my head all day, i've no idea if its at all possible, they mentioned Jess but I know she'll be miles away now, If theres any local women feel free to give me a shout *blushes*

Then today I gets an email after a lovely walk in the sun, from a company I bought lots of lipsticks from a couple months ago, they have a sale on so I've had to treat myself, they're high quality and totally gorgeous I just couldn't resist, their link page is saturated colour have a look for the KiSSsticks, they are amazing

Its not these shades but the same brand as these, so i'm now all excited, a sissy can never have enough lipsticks!  I'm still on a high after yesterday and so glad that the Mean Girls accepted my apology

I know today is Steak and BJ day, well for real men it is, for us loser sissys its a day to spend in pink

thanks for reading and hope you've enjoyed, feel free to get in touch

Cinnamon xxx

Fear, Fantasy, Comps and that laugh!

Hi everyone, it seems like ages since I last managed to write a blog on here, I did try last week but found myself unable to write what I was thinking down.  But with things that have happened I have hopefully a good post here.

Firstly last week, on the Monday it was apparently #malechastityday according to twitter, now I've never been in or seriously thought about Chastity in the past but I decided to try have a day of no touching, during the day it wasn't too bad. But around teatime, I received some news.

Over the last few weeks a Sex Toy company in the UK has been running a few retweeting competitions on twitter.  I had been retweeting a few, and imagine my reaction when this notification popped up

all of a sudden not touching became very difficult and I just had to cuddle my pink pillow so hard!

The companys website is www.thehouseofpassion.co.uk If anyone wanted to check them out.  For the couple of days after I was excited and also a bit scared, I honestly had no clue what would be in the package.  Anyways towards the end of the week after many edges and arousing dreams I came home from work to find that they had tried to deliver the parcel. So I headed to the depot to sign for and collect it.  (so thankful the packaging was totally discreet)

I also had a guy msging me a lot on twitter asking If I could be dominant to him, I asked advice from a couple of people and firstly made him change his twitter profile as it was not appropriate.  He wants to be a sissy but has no panties so I said he needed some, I also asked him to do another tweeting task, however he just replied "and if I dont" To be honest I dont really think i've got a dom bone in my body, although I know I can have a mean streak while playing pranks etc.  If this male?? doesn't reply its no skin of my back (i'll get to that shortly)

Sorry for that little detour, let me get back to the package I won.  It was full of all sorts of kinky goodies, floggers paddles, cuffs, blindfolds, rope, clamps, literally allsorts.  I had such a big lump in my throat looking through it all

of course I had to let the MeanGirls know about this, and I got an email back from Miss Vicki saying they couldn't wait to see some of it.  I'd also had a message from another Mistress saying the way the MeanGirls are inside my head is a "masterclass in dominance and feminisation" so of course i had to let Miss E and Miss V know that too.  Hearing it made me tingle i'll be honest.

Anyway getting to the end of the week and last night.  I'd planned to call the Goddesses and spent most of the day edging and tormenting myself, it got late in the night UK time and I got through to them.  I think it was a longer than normal call, where I had to show off the items from the package, they seemed to genuinely enjoy me using this on myself

  They were counting along and laughing so hard, they even stopped to ask if I was crying, (I wasn't but it was stinging a lot) Telling me they want pics of all the different colours my bottom turns after this,  Putting a fantasy about being at work and having all the girls do this to me after discovering me in panties, utterly humiliating me, and ensuring that literally Everyone knew  The call is a blur of humiliation I do remember showing them the Cb6000 that was in the prize bundle and I think I somehow volunteered to try it, (well if I can get it to fit my tiny thing anyway) and as has been usual recently I was allowed to beg to make a cumsie on my plate.  Its still flashing through my mind though how I actually begged to clean my plate for them.

We had a small chat after that and when I came off the phone I found they'd put a picture of my cumsie plate on twitter to add to my humiliation *blushes* I do love how the MeanGirls seem to know exactly what I need.  if anyone wants to see that pic its on their Twitter timeline.  Along with many links to their wall of shame further down,  

Anyway today for me is a day to slightly relax, but i've also to try on the Chastity device.  I'm so scared about this but its just trying it on right, what harm can it do?

As always thanks for reading this, feel free to get in touch

Cinnamon xxx

Anniversary humiliation call, makeup and some totally unexpected comments!

Hey everyone,

Even though its only been a couple of days since my last post I just had to write another.  As I mentioned last time, this weekend was 6 months to the day I first called the awesome MeanGirls and restarted this humiliation journey i'm on.  I knew I would have to call and had asked earlier in the week if they'd be available.  (thankfully they were)  I'd bought their new audio, and listened over and over to all of their others over the weekend, so I was excited to call.

Being in the UK its always fairly late at night when I get chance to call them.  This time it was later than usual, but I saw them become available and called.  I'd remembered what I had worn the first time, and made sure I had the same outfit on *blushes* I'm sure there is a pic of it on their wall of shame, it was very pink, the panties have a ruffled skirt on them and the cami has a black lace trim.  The outfit was topped off with the baby pink fishnets and my wig and makeup.

The third one from the left is the Osculate Orchid

The third one from the left is what I wore

Miss Erika and Miss Vicki once again complimented my makeup, especially the new "Osculate Orchid" lipstick I had on, this made me blush as when I first called them I was totally useless at it!  We chatted about how things have been at work with Jess and I said i'd been that busy at work literally hadn't spoke at all, only a couple posts on Facebook.  They took this and started that paranoia ride in my head, I was trembling as they asked me what I would do if one of the girls from the makeup store added me on there and left a message asking why i'd not been in a while?  It got intense as I was realising I was maybe just a couple steps away from total exposure.  I think I got very quiet and I think they picked up on that, I was being led to admitting all sorts and they gave me some intriguing ideas for future calls, the humiliation kept coming and It wasn't long before I was begging, and then I was allowed a glorious release all over my saucer, of course they made me lick it all up.  (its only just struck me writing this that every orgasm i've had for 6 months I've had to consume) How embarrassing is that!

After the call we had a bit of a conversation on twitter that to me reiterated just how awesome they are as they said they thought they may have taken it a bit over the edge on the call.  But I assured them although it was a scary thought, I trust them now.  You know what, I really do!


Then yesterday after an awesome dream I was playing on twitter and realised i'd been followed by a lot of people that I hadn't followed back, so I went through the list and pretty much anyone that seemed like a real persons account that didn't just post porn etc I followed back.  I got a message not long after from someone calling me Mistress, thanking me for the follow.  I had to admit obviously i'm not a Mistress, this guy was actually calling me Hot based on my profile pic,

As you can see from the pics here, (I removed his name for dignity etc) I admitted I took it as a compliment, and I'll be really honest part of me tingled deep inside, that someone actually thought I was female.  After the sexy sissy photo competition last week and now this I dont think i've had this many "physical" compliments before, and it certainly feels different from the humiliation, it's feeling very different to me, I still have the cravings to please women, and to hear them laugh, but also for once maybe being called sexy and pretty and hot is cool as well *blushes*

So also yesterday I was playing around with my makeup, making the most of a

stormy day and I posted a couple of pics to twitter of the results after adding a couple of filters and cutting away part of the pics so my whole face isn't on it.  Again some of the comments were so nice to me on there, from both other sissies and also from a couple of Dommes, it made me tingle again, so when I was sent home from work again earlier I couldn't resist having another play, i've come up with one pic I love and hope other people like it as well *blushes* the false lash effect mascara really makes my eyes pop, I hope no-one minds the filters i'm not brave enough to show my whole face otherwise

Anyway sorry this is a long post, thanks for reading, and feel free to catch up with me on twitter

Cinnamon xxx

Fantasy, Reality all blurring into one

I thought i'd write about another great call with the MeanGirls I had last night.  But also the events of the last week.

We had a team building meal with my department at work over the weekend last week.  The female to male ratio is quite high in my area so there was only me and one other male in a group of 20 odd.  The women range in age from 20ish through to their 50's but the majority are probably in their 20's.  A few drinks were had before we were sat at a table and ordered our food.  As always after a few drinks tongues were loosened.  The first "naughty" story that came out on the night was one of the girls telling the others that her and a guy she'd been interested in had finally hooked up after a couple months of flirting.  But the second involved one of the younger girls announcing that she had took a guy home last weekend to find he had a tiny dick.  (Naturally my ears picked up at this, and to be honest after everything that has happened with Jess at work lately paranoia really set into me) The language she used to describe it and what she did both scared me and also somehow got me a bit turned on, I was trying to look like I was enjoying the meal and concentrating on that and also my beer.  Apparently she was asking this guy "what the fuck is that" and she even kicked him in it saying that it was no good to her.

All the other girls were laughing and trying to get more gossip out of her but I was trying not to hear any of it as I was worried that this was a way of making me uncomfortable as so many things at work seem to have been lately.  As i'm always in panties now I was really on edge.  But managed to make it through the evening thankfully.

I was wering the pink thong from this picture on sunday night, and although I was pretty drunk at the end of the evening and had a taxi driver from hell I was edging for ages in them when I got home.  Obviously I told the MeanGirls what had happened.  I also found out on tuesday that the conversation really was about another guy that the girl had hooked up with, as she has shown a pic all around work, maybe my paranoia was for nothing.

Anyway I'll get to the call I had last night now, i'd been aching for it all week and was dressed appropriately in a new babydoll that i'd found in a sale, and of course makeup it was hard choosing which of these new lipsticks to wear

 I had to tell the Mean girls exactly what had happened and they weaved a fantasy into my head making me imagine what if the girls at work had decided to make me prove that this guy was a one off and started to strip me in the restaurant, firstly revealing my pretty pink panties, before realising that I was probably smaller than the guy they were berating, I was genuinely struggling to speak, as Miss Erika and Miss Vicki were saying that it was probably obvious I was uncomfortable as I always seem to pull some faces, I was melting inside at this, especially as they made me imagine all the girls touching me, trying to make me cum, they asked if I would beg, but I admitted if anything ever went that far I would probably go all out and confess about the Mean Girls and that i'm only allowed to cum if they say *blushes*  that was one of the first rules they set me, and its implanted in my head now, but just imagining confessing that was driving me wild,  once again they turned my reality into a fantasy situation and planted seeds of cravings deep in my head.  We got talking about Makeup counters again as well making me imagine having a job in one, wow I dreamt of that last night, they say i'm getting much better with practice, hearing that makes me blush so bad, as i respect women even more now i'm trying to learn all of that.   Finally they gave me a countdown and well I'll just say I ended up licking my plate clean like all Sissy Bimbo's should.




It was such an intense call as they all seem to be now, they are really amazing at getting in my head. Sorry theres not many pics this time I really dont know which ones to add. But as always thanks for reading

Cinnamon xx

The ever deepening spiral

A few months ago I was on a call with the MeanGirls, I can remember it really well, I think i'd called them a few times but they said I was at a point where if I continued I would be on a downward spiral of humiliation.  I feel like that is the case most weeks now, yet I dont want it to stop.   After so many years of trying to pretend I dont have these feelings I have, it feels awesome to be able to talk about them a bit now,  I really mean that, whether its rambling on here, on a call with the MeanGirls or with  someone on twitter.  

I had another humiliating call over the weekend with the Goddesses Miss Erika and Miss Vicki, where once again they got in my head and tore it apart, humiliating me to the point I had no idea what to say, getting extremely embarrassing thoughts in my head, making me crave them.  I also had to use one of my frozen "cumcicles" on the call. both rubbing it over my body and also licking it, apparently my face was a picture and i've never heard the MeanGirls laugh as much before which just left me feeling more aroused.  And they gave me a further task to complete, which I have hopefully done today, which has left me a paranoid mess at home cuddling my pink pillow,  part of me is dreading some of what is happening at work but the kinky part inside me is wondering what it would be like to have to admit to a woman just what the MeanGirls have made me do, a couple of dreams i've had have even involved women humiliating me, then making me call the MeanGirls and perform on cam for them with the other women standing round laughing and joining in the humiliation.  I actually crave that now,  Somehow wonder if its in any way possible. even if it was set up in advance, wow that would be an experience and a half

Yesterday I had a parcel delivered of some new lipsticks, I had seen them in a flash sale online last week and couldn't resist, basically they all should have been £7 but in the sale I got them for £2 each. I tried a couple of colours i've never even looked at before (purples) and a red and a pink one.  I swear they are so pigmented and bright.  I think i love them!!!!!

If I keep going this way pretty soon I will be able to wear a different lipstick every day of a month *blushes* But at that price who can resist?  I'm still looking around some sale sites for maybe a new outfit or something, its just a struggle finding something that fits really, although I am still on my healthy kick for the new year, so will hopefully shed a little bit of weight which will make finding things a bit easier.

I have a feeling I know what I will be practicing with this evening, if you've got this far thanks for reading

Cinnamon xx

New year, same old sissy

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Holiday update,

Hi everyone, just wanted to write a quick post to say I hope you all had a great Christmas Holiday, and are looking forward to a great New Year,

I've been so busy at work I've not had time to properly indulge in the final runup to the big day.  But certainly have made up for it since.  I'd been looking forward to calling the MeanGirls ever since the last call and had a two week ache deep inside me.  I had a special treat from them at Christmas which made me anticipate the call more.  After a few days of intense family time, (i swear theres one uncle I should not be allowed in a room with, it always ends ugly) a lot of laughs and plenty of food and drink I had sunday evening free.

I worked on my makeup, and had a play round, using the free MaxFactor items I got, but blending a fierce pink glitter eyeshadow over the metallic one, it was one of my better moments.  Then I got an outfit ready, and then started to edge, the ache was pretty bad but I wanted to make myself as desperate as I could.  When I called I had a surprise on for the Mean Girls, I'd ordered a sash to be printed with "Beauty Queen 4 MeanGirls" for a pt. assignment i'm working on but I had to show them and it got such a laugh.  Then they made me closeup my makeup and said I was getting much better, I felt so proud at that *blushes*
I had to give them an update on anything thats happened with Jess at work, although with xmas there has been no time for anything at work as its been hectic.  And they planted a seed in my head, that maybe Jess is like them, making me imagine Jess being with me while I called the Mean Girls, maybe her friends too, (i'm so scared that I find that idea so arousing) On the call I had to rub one of my frozen "cumcicles" all over my face and body, before putting the rest in my mouth and letting it melt.  Inside I was cringing, but I was twitching all over the place.  I'm sure not gonna share all the details on here, but there was so much laughter by Miss Vicki and Miss Erika on the call, that finally when they gave me the countdown I replaced what i'd taken out of the cumcube tray.  They actually got a pic of that and put it up on twitter, so anyone can see it, I was also told not to wash any of the dried cum off my body that night, so as I slept and woke up it was a constant reminder.

Yesterday I had more time to myself and ended up teasing myself for an age with my mini-wand, that got so intense, felt like I was riding an edge for so long and it got me so sensitive, that pretty much today my first day back at work all i've thought of is being humiliated *blushes*

This afternoon after i've finished work I got a call from Jess's friend Sarah, she basically asked if I could help her with a "little problem" then she giggled and rung off, so now the paranoia that I've had is going through the roof and i'm just imagining being tied up on cam to the Meangirls with other women actually there laughing and making the humiliation even more intense, and i'm craving it more and more.

Thanks for reading and I wish you all a happy New Year

Cinnamon xx

Roleplay Fun

Hi, well another week starts and if you've read my previous blog you'll know that gloriously there is no work whatsoever this week, (well apart from worshipping the Mean Girls)  Last night my week off started with a bang.  After spending as much of the last week edging as I could I knew I wanted to call them.  I had sent an email asking if I could,

After a couple of mails where i'd been asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about in particular, the Mean Girls said they had an idea but i'd need props (gulp) First, I had to wear bra, panties and stockings, then over the top a white shirt and man trousers.  I felt really silly doing this as i'd been practicing my eye makeup, and I actually reckon my black smokey eyes were the best i've done yet.  (the makeup counter girls would be proud their lessons are paying off)  The other prop I needed was something that would be easy to eat on the call, and I had to let one of my "cumcubes" melt over the top of it.

I had to get ready as quick as I could, and my head was racing as it often is, I set up as i'd been asked,

I already knew how visible the bra was through the shirt after the makeup store last week but this felt just as embarrassing.  I called through to the Mean Girls and they got into the role-play they had thought of.  They played a part where they knew I crushed on them, and also had a dress up fantasy and they'd agreed to come out for a bite to eat and a drink with me, on the condition that I had the underwear on under my clothes, and also some lipstick *blushes*

They delighted as we sat at the table as they made me see who was on the next table to us, Jess from my work, and two of her friends Sarah and Natalie.  The thought of this, the blurring of reality and fantasy, (especially after some of the teasing at work recently) makes me literally squirm, I hadn't even touched myself and I was almost ready to blow.  Miss Vicki and Miss Erika noticed this and thought I looked too hot. First they asked Jess and the others to join us at our table, one of the first things they noticed was the lipstick marks on my coffee glass which I had to explain why I was wearing it.

 Noticing my squirming increasing the Mean Girls then insisted I removed my trousers so I was more comfortable, right there in the middle of the coffee store, they laughed so hard as I did that just grabbed the attention of Jess and her friends.  I was then ordered to walk around the store like that, which brought further howls of laughter,  I was told to come back to the table and sit down and noticed that my cookie had had a topping added.

The "frosting" had melted a bit by this time.  And I was ordered to take a bite, I did which brought more giggles.  All of my secrets were being told, how tiny I am, that i'm the Mean Girls sissy bimbo,  I get tips at makeup counters etc, I was then ordered to take off the shirt so everyone could see my bra, I was also ordered to show my tiny excuse for a manhood, twitching and throbbing away,  this brought more laughs I was told to imagine my work colleagues laughing and touching it to see if it was real, I then had to finish off my cookie and  stroke and beg, they pulled the table away so everyone could see, I had to beg like i'd never begged before, I think i must have said please about 100 times in a minute *blushes* was so desperate.  The Mean Girls then gave me a countdown which they stretched out making me keep begging, they made me imagine that one of the others was holding my coffee glass underneath me to catch all my nasty cumsie, finally they gave the command.  And coincidentally it went all over the plate my cookie was on, there was so much *blushes* Once they realised this I had to lick the plate clean still on cam, then we had a quick chat and once again I couldn't thank them enough.  (after the precall email saying I wouldn't need the ice cube tray this time, a part of me was dreading that I wouldn't be allowed a cumsie)

It was such an intense call, I was knelt hardly moving for 20 minutes after it, and dreamt of it last night as well.  If only the rest of my week off is as good,  I wish it could be full of humiliation *blushes*

Feel free to comment or hit me on twitter and thanks for reading xx

xx  Cinnamon xx

I must give huge thanks to Miss Vicki and Miss Erika, none of this journey i've been on the last few months would have been possible without them getting in my head, if your in any way curious check them out Mean Girls website